of men; how fhall I be reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as fure as his guts are made of puddings. SCENE II. Enter Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Page, trust me, I was going to your house. Mrs. Page. And trust me, I was coming to you; you look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to fhew to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. men. But how is the matter mended? or the thought made lefs ridiculous? Shakespeare wrote •for the putting down of MUM, i. e. the fattening liquor fo called. So Fletcher in his Wild-goofe chafe: What a cold I have over my stomach! would I had fome MUM! This is truly humorous, and agrees with the character she had just before given him of Flemish drunkard. But the greatest confirmation of this conjecture is the allufion the words, in question, bear to a matter then publickly transacting. The Merry Wives of Windfor appears to have been wrote in 1601, or very shortly after. And we are informed by Sir Simen D'Ewes' Journal, that no home affair made more noife in and out of parliament at that time, than the fuppreffion and regula tion of taverns, inns, ale-houses, ftrong liquors, and the drinkers of them. In the Parliament held 1597, a bill was brought into both houses, For fuppreffing the multitude of Maltfiers, &c. Another, To reftrain the exceffive making of Malt, and diforderly brewing of strong beer. Another, For regulation of Inns, Taverns, &c. In the next Parliament, held 1601, was a bill, For the fuppreffing of the multitude of Alehoufes and Tipling houses. Another, against exceffive and common drunkennefs; and several others of the fame nature. Some of which, after much canvaffing, were thrown out, and others paffed into Acts. WARB. I do not fee that any altera tion is neceffary; if it were, either of the foregoing conjectures might ferve the turn. But furely Mrs. Page may naturally enough, in the first heat of her anger, rail at the fex for the fault of one. fhew fhew you to the contrary: O mistress Page, give me fome counfel. Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman! if it were not for one trifling refpect, I could come to fuch honour. Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman, take the ho nour: what is it? difpenfe with trifles; what is it? Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or fo, I could be knighted. Mrs. Page. What?-thou lieft!-Sir Alice Ford!thefe Knights will hack, and so thou should'st not alter the article of thy gentry Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light-here, read—read -perceive how I might be knighted-I fhall think the worfe of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking, and yet he would not fwear; prais'd women's modefty; and give fuch orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have fworn his difpofition would have 8 What, thou lieft! Sir Alice Ford! thefe Knights will HACK, and fo thou shouldft not alter the article of thy gentry.] The unintelligible nonfenfe of this speech. is hardly to be matched. The change of a fingle letter has occafioned it, which is thus eafily removed. Read and point,Thefe Knights will LACK, and So thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry. The other had faid, I could be knighted, meaning, I could have a Knight for my lover; her companion took it in the other fenfe, of conferring the title, and fays, What, thou lieft! Sir Alice Ford! thefe Knights will lack a title, [i. e. rifk the punishment of degradation] rather than not make a whore of thee. For we are to obferve that--and so thou shouldft not, is a mode of fpeech, amongst the writers of that time, equivalent to-rather than thou shouldst not. WARBURTON. Upon this paffage the learned Editor has tried his strength, in my opinion, with more fpirit than fuccefs. I read thus-These knights we'll back, and fo thou foculdeft not alter the article of thy gentry, The punishment of a recreant or undeferving knight, was to back off his fpurs: the meaning therefore is; it is not worth the while of a gentlewoman to be made a Knight, for we'll degrade all thefe Knights in a lit tie time, by the ufual form of backing off their fpurs, and thou, if thou art knighted, fhait be hacked with the rest. gone gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere and keep place together, than the hundredth Pfalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempeft, I trow, threw this whale, with fo many ton of oil in his belly, a'fhore at Windfor? how fhall I be reveng'd on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, 'till the wicked fire of luft have melted him in his own grease-Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy letter; but let thine inherit firft, for, I proteft, mine never fhall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names; nay, more; and these are of the fecond edition; he will print them out of doubt, for he cares not what he puts into the prefs, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lafcivious turtles, ere one chafte man. Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very fame, the very hand, the very words; what doth he think of us? Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honefty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal for, fure, unless he knew fome Stain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call it you? I'll be fure to keep him above deck. Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to fea again, Let's be reveng'd on him; let's appoint him a meeting, give him a fhow of comfort in his fuit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine Hoft of the Garter. * Press is used ambiguously, for a prefs to print, and a press to fqueeze. Mrs. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will confent to act any villainy against him, that may not fully the charinefs of our honesty. Oh, that my husband faw this letter! it would give him eternal food to his jealousy. Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes, and my good man too; he's as far from jealoufy, as I am from giving him caufe; and that, I hope, is an unmeafura ble distance. Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's confult together against this greasy Knight. Come hither. [They retire. Enter Ford with Piftol, Page with Nym. Ford. Well, I hope, it be not fo. Pift. Hope is a curtail-dog in fome affairs. Sir John affects thy wife. Ford. Why, Sir, my wife is not young. Pift. He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor, Both young and old, one with another, Ford; Pift. With liver burning hot: prevent, or go thou, like Sir Acteon, he, with Ring wood at thy heelsO, odious is the name. Ford. What name, Sir? Pift. The horn, I say: farewel. Take heed, have open eye; for thieves do foot by night. Take heedere fummer comes, or cuckoo-birds affright. Away, Sir corporal Nym.-9 Be gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere and keep place together, than the hundredth Pfalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempeft, I trow, threw this whale, with fo many ton of oil in his belly, a'fhore at Windfor? how shall I be reveng'd on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, 'till the wicked fire of luft have melted him in his own greafe-Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy letter; but let thine inherit first, for, I proteft, mine never fhall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names; nay, more; and thefe are of the fecond edition; he will print them out of doubt, for he cares not what he puts into the prefs, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantefs, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lafcivious turtles, ere one chaste man. Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very fame, the very hand, the very words; what doth he think of us? Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, fure, unless he knew fome Stain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call it you? I'll be fure to keep him above deck. Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to fea again. Let's be reveng'd on him; let's appoint him a meeting, give him a fhow of comfort in his fuit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter. * Press is used ambiguously, for a press to print, and a press to fqueeze. Mrs. |