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HAT would'ft thou have, boor? what,

Hoft. W thick-skin? fpeak, breathe, difcufs;

brief, fhort, quick, fnap.

Simp. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff, from Mr. Slender.

Hoft. There's his chamber, his house, his caítle, his standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new; go, knock and call; he'll speak like an anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.

Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, Sir, 'till she come down I come to fpeak with her, indeed.

Hoft. Ha! a fat woman? the Knight may be robb'd; I'll call. Bully-Knight! Bully-Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine Host, thine Ephefian, calls.

Falstaff, above,

Fal. How now, mine Hoft?

9

Hoft. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming

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down of thy fat woman: let her defcend, bully, let her defcend; my chambers are honourable. Fie, privacy? fiel

Enter Falftaff.

Fal. There was, mine Hoft, an old fat woman even now with me, but he's gone.

Simp. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wife woman of Brainford?

Fal. Ay, marry was it, muffel-fhell', what would you with her?

Simp. My master, Sir, my master Slender, fent to her, feeing her go thro' the street, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it.
Simp. And what fays fne, I pray, Sir?

Fal. Marry, the fays, that the very fame man, that beguil'd mafter Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it.

Simp. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Hoft. Ay, come; quick.

Simp. I may not conceal them, Sir.

Fal. Conceal them, or thou dy't.

Simp. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about miftrefs Anne Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to have her or no.

Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Simp. What, Sir?

Fal. To have her, or no go; fay, the woman told

me fo.

I

Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, Sir?

Fal. Ay, Sir; like who more bold.

Muffel bell.] He calls poor Simple muffel-fhell, because he ftands with his mouth open.

Simp. Thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple, Hoft. Thou art clarkly; thou art clarkly, Sir John: was there a wife woman with thee?

Fal. Ay; that there was, mine Hoft; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

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Bard. Out, alas, Sir, cozenage! meer cozenage! Hoft. Where be my horses? fpeak well of them,

varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a flough of mire, and fet fpurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faufrus's:

Hoft. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain; do not fay they are fled; Germans are honeft men.

Enter Evans,

Eva. Where is mine Hoft?

Hoft. What is the matter, Sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments; there is a friend o'mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozen-jermans that has cozen'd all the Hofts of Reading, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and mony. I tell you for good will, look you; you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting-flocks, and 'tis not convenient you fhould be cozen'd; fare you well. [Exit.

Enter Caius.

Caius, Ver' is mine Hoft de Jarterre?

Hoft.

Hoft. Here, mafter Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a Duke de Jamany; by my trot, der is no Duke, dat the Court is know, to come. I tell you for good will; adieu.

[Exit. Hoft. Hue and cry, villain, go! affift me, Knight, I am undone; fly, run, hue and cry! Villain, I am undone ! [Exit. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen'd, for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it fhould come to the ear of the Court, how I have been tranfformed, and how my transformation hath been wafh'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boats with me. I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, 'till I were as creft-fall'n as a dry'd pear. I never profper'd fince I forfwore myfelf at Primero2. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent,

SCENE X.

Enter Mrs. Quickly.

Now, whence come you?

Quic. From the two parties, forfooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they fhall be both bestow'd. I have suffer'd more for their fakes, more than the villainous inconftancy of man's difpofition is able to bear.

Quic. And have not they fuffer'd? yes, I warrant, fpecioufly one of them; miftrefs Ferd, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot fee a white spot about her.

Primero.] A game at cards.

Fal.

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Fal. What tell'ft thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver❜d me, the knave conftable had fet me i'th' ftocks, i'th' common stocks, for a witch.

you

Quic. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; fhall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will fay fomewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring you together? fure, one of you does not ferve heav'n well, that you are fo crofs'd.

Fal. Come up into my chamber.

SCENE XI.

Enter Fenton and Hoft.

[Exeunt:

Hoft. Mafter Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy,

I will give over all.

Fent. Yet hear me fpeak; affift me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee

A hundred pounds in gold more than your lofs.

3 Action of an old Woman.] What! was it any Dexterity of Wit in Sir John Falstaff, to counterfeit the Action of an old Woman, in order to efcape being apprehended for a Witch? Surely, one would imagine, This was the readieft means to bring him into fuch a Scrape: for none but Old Women have ever been fufpected of being Witches. The Text muft certainly be restor'd, a wood Woman, a crazy, frantick Woman; one too wild, and filly, and unmeaning, to have.

either the Malice or mischiev ous Snbtlety of a Witch in her. THEOBALD.

This emendation is received by Sir Thomas Hanmer, but rejected by Dr. Warburton. To me it appears reafonable enough.

4 The great fault of this play is the frequency of expreffions fo profane, that no neceffity of preferving character can juffy them. There are laws of higher authority than those of criticifm.

Heft.

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