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Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and Sir H. EVANS. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir. Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am
Anne. The dinner attends
sir. Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow : (Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for
I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead : But what though ? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Anne. I may not go in without your worship : they will not sit, till you come.
Šlen. l'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.
Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you : I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys? for a dish of stewed prunes ; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?
Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England :
- You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not ?
Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson loose, twenty times: and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'd 9 :
7 Three set-to's, bouts, or hits.
8 The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden in Southwark.
9 Surpassed all expression.
but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em ; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we stay for you.
Slen. I'll eat nothing ; I thank you, sir.
Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir; come, come.
Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way.
Slen. Truly, I will not go first ; truly, la; I will not do
you Anne. I pray you, sir.
Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome; you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. [Exeunt.
Enter Sir Hugh EVANS and SIMPLE. Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
Sim. Well, sir.
give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page ; and the letter is, to desire and to require her to solicit
your master's desires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you be gone; I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.
A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM,
Pistol, and ROBIN. Fal. Mine host of the Garter,
Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely.
Fal. Truly, mine Host, I must turn away some of my followers.
Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier : let them wag; trot, trot.
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host. Thou art an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph ; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector ?
Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke ; let him follow: Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
[Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin ; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster; Go, adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
[Exit BARD. Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?
Nym. His mind is not heroick, and there's the humour of it.
Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest.
Pist. Convey, the wise it call : Steal ! foh, a fico? for the phrase !
Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
Pist. Two yards and more.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about: no waste ; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am sir John Falstaff's.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English.
Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?
Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse.
Pist. To her, boy, say I.
Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater 3 to them both, and they shall he exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford : we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
3 Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel ? then, Lucifer take all !
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [To Rob.] bear you these
letters tightly 4; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; Trudge, plod away, o'the hoof; seek shelter, pack! Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, French thrift, you rogues ; myself, and skirted page.
[Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN. Pist. Let vultures gripe thee, for gourd and
fullam 5 holds,
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.
Pist. Wilt thou revenge?
Nym. With both the humours, I:
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defile. Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense? Page to deal with poison ; I will possess him with yellowness 8, for the revolt of mien is dangerous : that is my true humour.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I second thee; troop on.
[E.reunt. 4 Cleverly 5 False dice. 6 Sixpence I'll have in pocket.
7 Instigate. h s Jealousy.