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thank you, you swinged' me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide
for Val. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
Speed. And have you ?
Val. No, boy, but as well as I can do them :Peace, here she comes.
Enter SILVIA. Speed. O excellent motion!? O exceeding puppet! now will he interpret to her.
Val. Madam and mistress, a thousand good
Speed. O, give you good even ! here's a million of manners.
[Aside. Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
Speed. He should give her interest; and she gives it him.
Val. As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter, Unto the secret nameless friend of yours ; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in, But for my duty to your ladyship. Sil. I thank you, gentle servant; 'tis very clerkly3
done. Val. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off: For being ignorant to whom it goes, I writ at random, very doubtfully. Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much
pains ? Val. No, madam ; so it stead you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much :
sil. A pretty period! Well I guess the sequel;
2 A puppet-show. 3 Like a scholar,
I will not name it :- and yet I care not ; And yet
take this again ; - and yet I thank you ; Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more. Speed. And yet you will; and yet another yet.
[ Aside. Val. What means your ladyship ? do you not
like it? Sil. Yes, yes ; the lines are very quaintly writ: But since unwillingly, take them again; Nay, take them.
Val. Madam, they are for you.
Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request : But I will none of them; they are for you: I would have had them writ more movingly.
Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another. Sil. And, when it's writ, for my sake read it.
And, if it please you, so: if not, why, so.
Val. If it please me, madam! what then ?
bour; And so good-morrow, servant. [Exit SYLVIA.
Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a
steeple! My master sues to her ; and she hath taught her
suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor. O excellent device! was there ever heard a better, That my master being scribe, to himself should
write the letter? Val. How now, sir ? what are you reasoning with
yourself? Speed. Nay, I was rhyming; 'tis you that have the reason.
Val. To do what?
Speed. To yourself: why she wooes you by a
Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
Val. No, believe me.
you perceive her earnest ? Val. She gave me none, except an angry word. Speed. Why, she hath given you a letter. Val. That's the letter I writ to her friend. Speed. And that letter hath she delivered, and
there an end. Val. I would it were no worse. Speed. I'll warrant you,
'tis as well : For often you have writ to her; and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply, Or fearing else some messenger, that might her mind
discover, Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her
lover.. All this I speak in print; for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner time.
Val. I have dined.
Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir ; though the cameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat : 0, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.
Verona. A Room in Julia's House.
Enter PROTEUS and JULIA. Pro. Have patience, gentle Julia.
Jul. I must, where is no remedy.
Jul. If you turn not, you will return the sooner : Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake.
[Giving a ring. Pro. Why then we'll make exchange; here take
Jul. And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.
Pro. Here is my hand for my true constancy; And when that hour o'er-slips me in the day, Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake, The next ensuing hour some foul mischance Torment me for my love's forgetfulness ! My father stays my coming; answer not ; The tide is now : nay, not the tide of tears ; That tide will stay me longer than I should ;
[Exit Julia. Julia, farewell. — What! gone without a word? Ay, so true love should do ; it cannot speak ; For truth hath better deeds, than words, to grace
Pro. Go;I come, I come;
Enter LAunce, leading a dog. Laun. Nay, it will be this hour ere I have done weeping ; all the kind 4 of the Launces have this very fault: I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think, Crab my dog be the
sourest-natured dog that lives : my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear: he is a stone, a very pebblestone, and has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father ;- no, this left shoe is
no, no, this left shoe is my mother; nay
that cannot be so neither ; yes, it is so, it is so; it hath the worser sole; This shoe is my mother, and this my father ; A vengeance o'nt! there 'tis : now, sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand : this hat is Nan, our maid ; I am the dog :- no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog ; — O, the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so, so. Now come I to my father ; Father, your blessing ; now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping ; now should I kiss my father ; well, he weeps on:- now come I to my mother, (0, that she could speak now!) like a wood woman ; — well, I kiss her ;- why there 'tis ; here's my mother's breath up and down: now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes ; now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
Pant. Launce, away, away, aboard; thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weepest thou, man ? Away, ass ; you will lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.
5 Crazy, distracted.