SCENE v.

Before Achilles's Tent, in the Grecian Camp.

Ho

Enter Therfites folus.

OW now, Therfites? what, loft in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? he beats me, and I rail at him. O worthy fatiffaction! 'would, it were otherwife; that I could beat him, whilst he rail'd at me. 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll fee fome iffue of my fpiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles, a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken 'till these two undermine it, the walls will stand 'till they fall of themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, forget that thou art Jove the King of Gods, and, Mercury, lofe all the ferpentine craft of thy Caduceus, if thou take not that little, little, less than little wit from them that they have, which fhort-arm'd ignorance itself knows is fo abundant fcarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing the maffy irons and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or rather the bon-each, for that, methinks, is the curfe dependant on thofe that war for a placket, I have faid my prayers, and devil Envy fay Amen. What ho! my Lord Achilles!

2

Enter Patroclus..

Patr. Who's there? Therfites? Good Therfites, come in and rail.

Ther. If I could have remember'd a gilt counterfeit, thou couldft not have flipp'd out of my contempla

1

tion; but it is no matter, thyfelf upon thyfelf! The common curfe of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven blefs thee from a tutor, and difcipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy direction 'till thy death, then if fhe, that lays thee out, fays thou art a fair coarfe, I'll be fworn and fworn upon't, fhe never fhrowded any but Lazars; Amen. Where's Achilles?

Patr. What, art thou devout? waft thou in prayer? Ther. Ay, the heav'ns hear me !

Patr. Therfites, my Lord.

Achil. Where, where? art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digeftion, why haft thou not ferved thyfelf up to my table, fo many meals? Come, what's Agamemnon!

Ther. Thy commander, Achilles. Then tell me, Patrocius, what's Achilles?

Patr. Thy Lord, Therfites. Then tell me, I pray thee, what's thy felf?

Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus.

troclus, what art thou?

Then tell me, Pa

Patr. Thou must tell, that know'ft.

Achil: O tell, tell,.

Ther. I'll decline the whole queftion. Agamemnoņ commands Achilles, Achilles is my Lord, I am Patroclus's knower, and Patroclus is a fool.

Patr. You rafcal

Ther. Peace, fool, I have not done.

Achil. He is a privileg'd man. Proceed, Therfites. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool, Achilles is a fool, Therfites is a fool, and, as aforefaid, Patroclus is a fool.

4 decline the whole queftion. ] Deduce the queftion from the firft cafe to the laft.

s Patroclus is a fool.] The four next fpeeches are not in the quarto,

Achil. Derive this; come..

Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles, Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon, Therfites is a fool to ferve fuch a fool, and Patroclus is a fool pofitive.

Patr. Why am I fool?

Ther. Make that demand of the prover.-It fuffices me, thou art.

Enter Agamemnon, Ulyffes, Neftor, Diomedes, Ajax, and Calchas.

Look you, who comes here?

Acbil Patroclus, I'll fpeak with no body. Come in with me, Therfites.

[Exit. Ther. Here is fuch patchery, fuch juggling, and fuch knavery. All the argument is a cuckold and a whore, a good quarrel to draw emulous factions, and bleed to death upon. 7 Now the dry Serpigo on the fubject, and war and lechery confound all! [Exit.

Aga. Where is Achilles?

Patr. Within his tent, but ill difpos'd, my Lord.

Aga. Let it be known to him that we are here. He fhent our meffengers, and we lay by

Our appertainments, vifiting of him;

Let him be told fo, left, perchance, he think
We dare not move the queftion of our place,
Or know not what we are.

Patr. I fhall fo fay to him.

Ulyf. We faw him at the op'ning of his tent, He is not fick.

[Exit.

Ajax. Yes, lion-fick, fick of a proud heart. You may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man ;

6 of the prover,] So the quarto. 7 Now the dry, &c.] This is added in the folio.

8 He SENT our messengers,—] This nonfense should be read, He SHENT our messengers,i. e, rebuked, rated. WARB.

but,

but, by my head, 'tis pride; but why, why?-let him fhew us the caufe. A word, my Lord. [To Agamemnon. Neft. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ulyf. Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. Neft. Who, Therfites?

Ulyf. He.

Neft. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have loft his argument.

Ulys. No, you fee, he is his argument, that has his argument, Achilles.

१

Neft. All the better; their fraction is more our wifh than their faction; but it was a strong compofure, that a fool could difunite.

Ulyf. The amity, that wifdom knits not, folly may eafily untye.

SCENE VIL

Enter Patroclus.

Here comes Patroclus.

Neft. No Achilles with him?

Uly. The elephant hath joints, but none for courtefy;

His legs are for neceffity, not flexure.

Patr. Achilles bids me fay, he is much forry,
If any thing more than your fport and pleasure
Did move your greatnefs, and this noble State,
To call on him; he hopes, it is no other,
But for your health and your digeftion-fake
An after-dinner's breath.

Aga. Hear you, Patroclus;

We are too well acquainted with thefe answers;
But his evafion, wing'd thus fwift with fcorn,

9 compofure,] So reads the quarto very properly, but the folio, which the moderns have followed, has, it was a strong

COUNSEL.

nable State,] Perfon of high dignity; (poken of Agamemnon.

Cannot

Cannot outfly our apprehenfions.

Much attribute he hath, and much the reason
Why we afcribe it to him; yet all his virtues,
Not virtuously on his own part beheld,
Do in our eyes begin to lofe their glofs;
Yea like fair fruit in an unwholfome difh,
Are like to rot untafted. Go and tell him,
We come to speak with him; and you fhall not fin
If you do fay, we think him over-proud,

And under honeft, in felf-affumption greater
Than in the note of judgment; and worthier than
himself

Here tend the favage ftrangeness he puts on,
Disguise the holy ftrength of their command,
And under-write in an obferving kind

2

His humourous predominance; yea, watch

His pettifh lunes, his ebbs and flows; as if
The paffage and whole carriage of this action
Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and add,
That if he over-hold his price fo much,
We'll none of him; but let him, like an engine
Not portable, lie under this report,

"Bring action hither, this can't go to war:
"A ftirring dwarf we do allowance give,
Before a fleeping giant ;" tell him fo.

Patr. I fhall, and bring his anfwer presently. [Exit. Aga. In fecond voice we'll not be fatisfied,

We come to speak with him. Ulyffes, enter.

Ajax. What is the more than another?

[Exit Ulyffes.

Aga. No more than what he thinks he is.

Ajax. Is he fo much? Do you not think, he thinks himself a better man than I am?

2-under-write] To fubScribe, in Shakespeare, is to obey. 3 His pettif lunes,-] This is Hanmer's emendation of his pet

tifh lines. The old quarto reads,
His courfe and time.
This fpeech is, unfaithfully print
ed in modern editions.

Aga.