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Shal. What? the fword and the word? do you study them both, Mr. Parfon ?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hofe, this raw-rheumatic day?

Eva. There is reafons and caufes for it.

Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, Mr. Parfon.

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Eva. Ferry well: what is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike having receiv'd wrong by fome perfon, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you faw.

Shal. I have liv'd fourfcore years, and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity and learning, so wide of his own respect.

Eva. What is he?

Page. I think you know him; Mr. Doctor Caius, the renowned French Phyfician.

Eva. Got's will and his paffion of my heart! I had as lieve you should tell me of a mefs of porridge. Page. Why?

Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen: and he is a knave befides, a cowardly knave as you would defire to be acquainted withal.

Page. I warrant you, he's the man fhould fight with him. Slen. O fweet Anne Page!


Enter Hoft, Caius, and Rugby.

Shal. It appears fo by his weapons: keep them afunder; here comes Doctor Caius.

Page. Nay, good Mr. Parfon, keep in your weapon.
Shal. So do you, good Mr. Doctor.

Hoft. Difarm them, and let them queftion; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.

Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a vord vith your ear: verfore vill you not meet-a me?

Eva. Pray you, use your patience in good time.

Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I defire you in friendship, and will one way or other make you amends; I will knog your urinal




your knave's cogs-comb for miffing your meetings and appointments.

Caius. Diable! Jack Rugby, mine host de Jartere, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I not at de place I did appoint?

Eva. As I am a chriftian's foul, now look you, this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by mine hoft of the garter.

Hoft. Peace, I fay, Gallia and Wallia, French and Welch, foul-curer and body-curer.

Caius. Ay, dat is very good, excellent.

Hoft. Peace, I fay, hear mine hoft of the garter. Am I politick? am I fubtle? am I a Machiavel? fhall I lofe my Doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lofe my prieft? my Sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, celeftial, fo. Boys of art, I have deceiv'd you both: I have directed you to wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your fkins are whole, and let burn'd fack be the iffue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lad of peace, follow, follow, follow.

Shal. Truft me, a mad hoft. Follow, gentlemen, follow. Slen. O fweet Anne Page! [Ex. Shal. Slen. Page and Hoft. Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a de fot of us, ha, ha?

Eva. This is well, he has made of us his vlouting-stock. I defire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this fame fcald-fourvycogging companion, the host of the garter.

Caius. By gar, vith all my heart; he promise to bring my ver is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too,

Eva. Well, I will fmite his noddles; pray you, follow. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV. The Street.

Enter Miftrefs Page and Robin.

Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your mafter's heels?


Rob. I had rather forfooth go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs. Page. O, you are a flattering boy; now I fee you'll be a courtier.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Well met, miftrefs Page; whither go you? Mrs. Page. Truly, Sir, to fee your wife; is the at home? Ford. Ay, and as idle as the may hang together for want of company; I think if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

Mrs. Page. Be sure of that, two other husbands.

Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cock?

Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of: what do you call your knight's name, firrah?

Rob. Sir John Falstaff.

Ford. Sir John Falstaff?

Mrs. Page. He, he; I can never hit on's name; there is fuch a league between my good man and he. Is your wife at home indeed?

Ford. Indeed the is.

Mrs. Page. By your leave, Sir; I am fick till I fee her. [Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin.


Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking? fure they fleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve-fcore; he pieces out his wife's inclination, he gives her folly motion and advantage, and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower fing in the wind: and Falftaff's boy with her! good plots! they are laid, and our revolted wives fhare damnation together. Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modefty from the fo feeming miftrefs Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Acteon, and to thefe violent proceedings all my neighbours fhall cry aim. The clock gives me my cue, and my affurance bids me fearch; there I fhall find Falstaff: I fhall be rather praised


for this than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go,

SCENE VI. To bim, Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Hoft, Evans and Caius.

Shal. Page, &c. Well met, Mr. Ford.

Ford. Trust me, a good knot I have good cheer at home, and I pray you all go with me.

Shal. I muft excufe myself, Mr. Ford.

Slen. And fo muft I, Sir; we have appointed to dine with Mrs. Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.

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Shal. We have linger'd about a match between Anne Page and my coufin Slender, and this day we thall have our answer.

Slen. I hope I have your good will, father Page.

Page. You have, Mr. Slender, I ftand wholly for you but my wife, mafter Doctor, is for you altogether.

Caius. Ay, by gar, and de maid is love-a me: my nurshQuickly tell me fo mufh.


Hoft. What fay you to young Mr. Fenton ? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he fpeaks holy-day, he fmells April and May; he will carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in his buttons, he will carry't.

Page. Not by my confent, I promise you the gentleman is of no having, he kept company with the wild Prince and Poinz: he is of too high a region, he knows too much; no, he fhall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he take her, let him take her fimply; the wealth I have waits on my confent, and my confent goes not that way.

Ford. I beseech you heartily, fome of you go home with me to dinner; befides your cheer you shall have fport; I will fhew you a monster. Mr. Doctor, you shall go; fo fhall you, Mr. Page, and you, Sir Hugh.

Shal. Well, fare you well: we fhall have the freer wooing at Mr. Page's.

Caius. Go home, John Rugby, I come anon.

Hoft. Farewel, my hearts; I will to my honeft Knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

Ford, I think I fhall drink in Pipe-wine first with him,



I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?
All. Have with you to fee this monfter.

SCENE VII. Ford's Houfe.


Enter Mrs. Ford, Mrs. Page, and Servants with a basket.
Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert!

Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly: is the buck-basket-
Mrs. Ford. I warrant. What, Robin, I say.
Mrs. Page. Come, come, come.

Mrs. Ford. Here fet it down.

Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge, we must be brief. Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be ready here hard-by in the brew-houfe, and when I fuddenly call you, come forth, and without any pause or staggering take this basket on your fhoulders; that done, trudge with it in all hafte, and carry it among the whit fters in Datchet-mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch clofe by the Thames fide.

Mrs. Page. You will do it?

Mrs. Ford. I ha' told them over and over; they lack no direction. Be gone, and come when you are call'd. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin.

Enter Robin.

Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket, what news with you P

Rob. My mafter Sir John is come in at your back-door, miftrefs Ford, and requests your company.

Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been true

to us ?

Rob. Ay, I'll be worn; my mafter knows not of your being here, and hath threaten'd to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for he fwears he'll turn me


Mrs. Page. Thou'rt a good boy; this fecrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and fhall make thee a new doublet and hofe. I'll go hide me.

[Exit Robin,

Mrs. Ford. Do fo; go tell thy mafter I am alone; miftrefs Page, remember you your cue. Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hifs me.

[Exit Mrs. Page. Mrs. Ford. Go to then; we'll ufe this unwholfome hu


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