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Albeit I will confefs, thy father's wealth
Anne. Gentle Mr. Fenton,
Yet feek my father's love, ftill feek it, Sir:
Enter Shallow, Slender, and Miftrefs Quickly. Shal. Break their talk, miftrefs Quickly; my kinfman fhall fpeak for himself.
Slen. I'll make a fhaft or a bolt on't: "d'slid 'tis but venturing.
Shal. Be not difmaid.
Slen. No, fhe fhall hot difmay me: I care not for that, but I am affeard.
Quic. Hark ye; Mr. Slender would fpeak a word with
Anne. I come to him. This is my father's choice.
Quit. And how does good mafter Fenton ? pray you, a word with you.
Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadft a father!
Slen. I had a father, Mrs. Anne; my uncle can tell you good jefts of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mrs. Anne the jeft, how my father ftole two geefe out of a pen, good uncle. Shal. Miftrefs Anne, my coufin loves you.
Slen. Ay, that I do, as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.
Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will; come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a Squire.
Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.
Anne. Good mafter Shallow, let him woo for himself.
Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Slen. My will? odd's-heart-lings, that's a pretty jest indeed, I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heav'n; I am not fuch a fickly creature, I give heav'n praise.
Anne. I mean, Mr. Slender, what would you with me? Slen. Truly for my own part, I would little or nothing with you; your father and my uncle have made motions; if it be my luck, fo; if not, happy man be his dole! they can tell you how things go better than I can; you' may ask your father; here he comes.
SCENE XIV. Enter Page and Miftrefs Page.
Fent. Nay, mafter Page, be not impatient.
Quic. Speak to miftrefs Page.
Fent. Good miftrefs Page, for that I love your daughter In fuch a righteous fashion as I do,
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes and manners,
Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yon fool.
Anne. Alas, I had rather be fet quick i'th' earth,
I will not be your friend nor enemy:
"Till then, farewel, Sir; fhe muft needs go in, Her father will be angry.. [Ex. Mrs. Page and Anne, Fent. Farewel, gentle mistress; farewel, Nan. Quic. This is my doing now. Nay, faid I, will you caft away your child on a fool, or a phyfician? look on mafter Fenton this is my doing.
Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee once to-night Give my fweet Nan this ring: there's for thy pains. [Exit.
Quic. Now heav'n fend thee good fortune! A kind heart he hath, a woman would run through fire and water for fuch a kind heart. But yet, I would my master had miftrefs Anne, or I would Mr. Slender had her; or, in footh, I would Mr. Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all three, for fo I have promis'd, and I'll be as good as my word, but fpecioufly for Mr. Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falfaff from my two miftreffes; what a beaft am I to flack it! [Exit.
SCENE XV. The Garter-Inn.
Fal. Bardolph, I say.
Fal. Go fetch me a quart of fack, put a toaft in't. [Ex. Bard.] Have I liv'd to be carry'd in a basket, like a barrow of butchers offal, and to be thrown into the Thames? well, if I be ferv'd fuch another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new-year's gift. The rogues flighted me into the river with as little remorfe as they would have drown'd a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i'th' litter; and you may know by my fize that I have a kind of alacrity in finking: if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drown'd, but that the fhore was fhelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the water wells a man and what a thing fhould I have been when I had been fwell'd! I should have been a mountain of mummy. [Enter Bard.]
Now, is the fack brew'd?
Bard. Here's Mrs, Quickly, Sir, to speak with you.
Fal. Come, let me pour in fome fack, to the Thameswater; for my belly's as cold as if I had swallow'd fnowhalls for pills to cool the reins. Call her in.
Bard. Come in, woman.
Quic. Marry, Sir, I come to your worship from mif trefs Ford.
Fal. Miftrefs Ford? I have had Ford enough; I was thrown into the Ford; I have my belly full of Ford.
Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: fhe does fo take on with her men; they mistook their erection.
Fal. So did I mine, to build on a foolish woman's promife. Quic. Well, the laments, Sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to fee it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; the defires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. I muft carry her word quickly; fhe'll make you amends, I warrant you.
SCENE. XVI. Enter Miftrefs Quickly. Quic. By your leave: I cry you mercy. Give your worship good-morrow.
Fal. Take away these challices: go brew me a pottle of fack finely. Bard. With
Fal. Simple of itself: I'll no pallet-fperm in my brewage. How now?
Fal. Well, I will vifit her; tell her fo, and bid her think what a man is : let her confider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.
Quic. I will tell her.
Fal. Do fo. Between nine and ten, fay'st thou?
Fal. Well, be gone; I will not mifs her,
Fal. I marvel I hear not of mafter Brook; he fent me word to stay within: I like his mony well. Oh, here he
SCENE XVII. Enter Ford.
Ford. 'Blefs you, Sir.
Fal. Now, mafter Brook, you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife.
Ford. That indeed, Sir John, is my business. Fal. Mafter Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her houfe the hour fhe appointed me.
Ford. And you fped, Sir?.
Fal, Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.
Ford. How, Sir! did the change her determination ? Fal. No, mafter Brook; but the peaking cornuto her hufband, mafter Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealoufie, comes in the inftant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kifs'd, protefted, and as it were spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by his distemper, and forfooth to fearch his houfe for his wife's love. Ford. What, while you were there? Fal. While I was there.
Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you? Fal. You fhall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one miftrefs Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach, and by her invention, and Ford's wife's direction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.
Ford. A buck-basket?
Fal. Yea, à buck-basket; ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul ftockings, and greafie napkins, that, mafter Brook, there was the rankeft compound of villainous fmells that ever offended noftril.
Ford. And how long lay you there?
Fal. Nay, you fhall hear, mafter Brook, what I have fuffer'd, to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress to carry me in the name of foul cloaths to Datchet-lane; they took me on their fhoulders, met the jealous knave their master in the door, who afk'd them once or twice what they had in their basket; I quak'd for fear, left the lunatic knave would have fearch'd it; but fate, ordaining he fhould be a cuckold, held his hand. Well, on went he for a fearch, and away went I for foul cloaths; but mark the fequel, mafter Brook; I fuffer'd the pangs of three egregious deaths: firft, an intolerable fright, to be detected by a jealous rotten bell-weather; next to be compafs'd like a good bilbo, in