Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions SIR Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Stay with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir Johmaster George Page, which is pretty virginity. Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram. Elen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair and speaks small like a woman. Eye. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum. of monies and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, Slen. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman upon his death's-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurborn, master parson; who writes himself armigero; rections!) ive, when she is able to overtake sevenin any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, ar-teen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave migero. our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham, and mistress Anne Page. Shal. Ay, that we do; and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have done't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Slen. I may quarter, coz? Shal. You may, by marrying. Eva. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one: if Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my be nevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you. Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot. Auttle formerly appropriated to chaplains. Custos rotulorum. Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? Eva. Ay, and her faber is make her a petter penny. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts. Falstaff there? Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, I der; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, understand: that is, master Page, fidelicet, master if matters grow to your likings. Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow. Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed:-how doth good mistress Page-and I love you always with my heart, la ; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? heard say, he was outrun on Cotsaic.' Page. It could not be judg'd, sir. I Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal. That he will not ;-tis your fault, 'tis your fault:-'tis a good dog. Page. A cur, sir. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good, and fair.-Is sir John Falstaff here? Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Eva. It is spoke as a christians ought to speak. Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter. Shal. The council shall know this. Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can. Fal. Pistol, Pist. He hears with ears. Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectatious. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he (or I would might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards," that cost me two shilling and two pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. I Fal. Is this true, Pistol? Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. combat challenge of this latten bilbo :* Nym. Be advised, sir, and pass good humours Bard. And being fap sir, was as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. 12 Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts. Fal. Good worts!2 good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against Enter Mistress Anne Page with winė; Mistress me? Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and inade me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket. Bar. You Banbury cheese! Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ?" Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour. Slen. Where's Simple, my man?-can you tell, cousin? Ford and Mistress Page following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. (Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress. [kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkind. ness. [Exeunt all but Shal. Slend. and Evans. Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us under- Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my stand: there is three umpires in this matter, as I book of songs and sonnets here: Enter Simple. How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you? Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake, upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ?1 Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here;-do you understand me? Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. Eva. But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands. SCENE III.—Â room in the Garter Inn. Enter gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Fal. Mine host of the Garter, Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man, a fresh tapster: go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit Bard. Pist. O base Gongarian' wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: steal! foh; a fico for the phrase! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards, and more. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Nym. I thank thee for that humour. Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer, take all! Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to Rob.] bear you these letters tightly; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack! Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. [Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds, And high and low beguile the rich and poor: Tester I'll have in pouch," when thou shalt lack, Base Phrygian Turk! Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? By welkin, and her star Pist. With wit, or steel? Nym. With both the humours, It I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour. Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed, I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I semake love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in cond thee; troop on. her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby. [Exeunt. of invitation: I can construe the action of her fa- SCENE IV.-A room in Dr. Caius' house. Enter miliar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's. Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels.' Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, boy, say I. Quick. What: John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit Rugby. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: 10 his worst fault is, me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view For Hungarian. (2) Fig. (S) Gold coin. that he is given to prayer; he is something peevishi that way; but nobody but has his fault ;-but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender's your master? (7) Sixpence I'll have in pocket. F (10) Strife. Sim. Ay, forsooth. Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard,| like a glover's paring-knife? for my master, in the way of marriage. Sim. No forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? [writes. Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall' a man of Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been his hands, as any is between this and his head: he thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so hath fought with a warrener.2 loud, and so melancholy;-but notwithstanding, Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember man, I'll do your master what good I can: and, him; does he not hold up his head, as it were? and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my strut in his gait? master, I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself; Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and wish Re-enter Rugby. I Sim. "Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quick. Are you advis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early, and down late ;but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is Quick. We shall all be shent: run in here, good in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithyoung man; go into this closet. [Shuts Simple in standing that,-I know Anne's mind,-that's nei the closet.] He will not stay long.-What, John ther here nor there. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Enter Doctor Caius. Rugby! John, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sur inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat that he comes not home and down, down, in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape adown-a, &c. [Sings. priest to meddle or make:-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? -by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have apQuick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad pointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our he went not in himself; if he had found the young weapon:-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. man, he would have been horn-mad. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boilier verd; a box, a green-a box; do íntend vat I speak? a green-a box. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort Je m'en vais à la cour,-la grand affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir? [Aside. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be chaud. well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the good-jer!4 Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; depeche, Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long:-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?Villany! larron!' [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier. Quick. Good master, be content. Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to Caius. Peace-a your tongue :-Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page, Brave. (2) The keeper of a warren. Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me;-by gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door:-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho? Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you. Enter Fenton. Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne? Quick. In truth, sir, and she is, pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you:-Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? (4) The goujere, what the pox! |