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it is such another Nan:-but, I detest," an honest show you to the contrary : 0, mistress Page, give
Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the
Quick. Will I? i'faith, that we will : and I will eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted. tell your worship more of the wart, the next time Mrs. Page. What ?-thou liest -Sir Alice we have confidence; and of other wooers. Ford !-- These knights will hack; and so thou Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.
[Erit. Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light :-here, read, Quick. Farewell to your worship.-Truly, an read ;-perceive how I might be knighted. — shall honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not ; for think the worse of
fat men, as long as I have an eye to I know Anne's mind as well as another does :- make difference of men's liking: and yet he would Out upon't! what have I forgot ? (Exit. not swear; praised women's modesty: and gave
such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all unson
comeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition wa
would have gone to the truth of his words: but they Total ACT II.
do no more adhere and keep place together, than
the hundredth psalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. SCENE I.-Before Page's house. Enter Mis
What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so
many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor ? tress Page, with a letter.
How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best Mrs. Page. What! have l’scaped love-letters fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did
way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked in the holy-day time of my beauty, and am I now you ever hear the like ? a subject for them? Let me see:
[reads. Ask me no reason why I love you ; for though of Page and Ford differs !-To thy great comfort
Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name Love use reason for his precisian, he admits him in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin not for his counsellor : You are not young, no brother of thy letter : but let thine inherit first; for, more am 1; go to then, there's sympathy:
you I protest, mine
never shall. I warrant, he hath a are merry, 80°am I; ha! ha! then there's more thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for syinpathy: you love sack, and so do I; would different names (sure
more,) and these are of the you desire better sympathy? et it suffice thee, second edition : he will print them out of doubt : mistress Page (at the least, if the love of a soldier for he cares not what he puts into the press, when can suffice, that I love thee. I will not say, pity he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, me, "lis not a soldier-like phrase ; but I say, love and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you me. By me,
twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man.
Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the
very hand, the very words: what doth he think of us?
Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: it makes me al
most ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll For thee to fight,
entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted John Falstaff.
withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in What a Herod of Jewry is this !-0 wicked, me, that I know not myself, he would never have wicked world !-one that is well nigh worn to boarded me in this fury. pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant !
Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it ? I'll be sure What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish to keep him above deck, drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my
Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my conversation, that he dares in this
manner assay hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged me? Why, he hath not been
thrice in my compa- on him : let's appoint him a meeting; give him a ny!-What should I say to him ?-1 was then show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with frugal of my mirth :-heaven forgive me !-Why, a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawn’d his horses I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting to mine host of the Garter. down of men. How shall I be revenged on him?, Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any vilfor revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made lang against him, that may not sully the charinesse of puddings.
of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this let
ter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy, Enter Mistress Ford.
Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and
my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was am from
giving him cause ; and that, I hope, is an
unmeasurable distance. going to your house. Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to
Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. you. You look very ill.
Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this
[They retire, Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have greasy knight: come hither. to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. Faith, but you do, in my mind. Enter Ford, Pistol, Page, and Nym. Mrs. Ford, Well, i do then; yet, I say, I could
Ford. Well, I hope, it be not so, (1) She means, I protest, (2) Melancholy.
Most probably Shakspeare wrote Physician,
Pist. Hope is a curtail' dog in some affairs : in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his
discarded men ; very rogues, now they be out of Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young:
Page. Marry, were they.
Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend
sharp words, let it lie on my head. 'Ford. What name, sir ?
Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife ; but I would Pist. The horn, I say: farewell.
be loth to turn them together: A man may be too Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I sing.
cannot be thus satisfied. Away, sir corporal Nym.--
Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Gar. Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. (Exit Pistol. ter comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or
Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this. money in his purse, when he looks so merrily.-
Nym. And this is true. (To Page.) I like not How now, inine host ?
Enter Host and Shallow.
[Exit Nym. Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; lell him, bully. Page. The humour of it, quoth 'a! here's a fel- rook. low frights humour out of his wits.
Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between Ford. I will seek out Falstaft.
sir Hugh the Welsh priest, and Caius the French Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting doctor. rogue.
Ford. Good mine host o the Garter, a word Ford. If I do find it, well.
Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook? the priest of the town commended him for a true
[They go aside.
Shal. Will you (to Page) go with us to behold Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow: Well,
it? my merry host hath had the measuring of their Page. How now, Meg ?
weapons; and, I think, he hath appointed them Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George ?--Hark contrary places : for, believe me, I hear, the paryou.
son is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our
Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my
Ford. None, I protest : but I'll give you a pottle Mrs. Ford.' Faith, thou hast some crotchets in of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell thy head now. Will you go, mistress Page ? him, my name is Brook; only for a jest.
Mrs. Page. Have with you. You'll come to Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress dinner, George ?--Look, who comes yonder: she and regress; said I well ? and thy name shall be shall be our messenger to this paltry knight. Brook: It is a merry knight.-Will you go on,
[ Aside to Mrs. Ford. hearts?
Shal. Have with you, mine host,
Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good
skill in his rapier. Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her : she'll Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more : In fit it.
these times you stand on distance, your passes, Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter stoccadoes, and I know not what: is the heart, Anne?
master Page; "tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the Quick. Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does time, with my long sword, I would have made you good mistress Anne ?
four talls fellows skip like rats. Mrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? hour's talk with you,
Page. Have with you :-I had rather hear them (Exe. Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Mrs. Quick. scold than fight. Page. How now, master Ford?
(E.reunt Host, Shallow, and Page. Ford. You heard what this knave told me; did Ford, Though Page be a secure fool, and stands
so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told my opinion so easily: She was in his company at
Page's house; and, what they made there, I know Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? not. Well, I will look further into't: and I have a
Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the disguise to sound Falstaff: if I find her honest, I Knight would offer it: but these that accuse him lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour
(Exit. (!) A dog that misses his game. .' (2) A medley. Consider, (4) A lying sharper.
(5) Stout, bold. (6) Dia,
SCENE II.A room in the Garter Inn. Enterit ; you have brought her into such a canaries," as Falstaff and Pistol.,
'tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when
the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought Fal. I will not lend thee a penny.
her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster,
and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; Which I with sword will open.-.
warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, I will retort the sum in equipage.!
gift after gift ; smelling so sweetly (all musk,) and Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you so rushling, I'warrant you, in silk and gold; and should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grat- in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar ed upon my good friends for three reprieves for you of the best, and the fairest, that would have won and your coach-fellow2 Nym; or else you had any woman's
heart; and, I warrant you, they could looked through the grate like a geminy of baboons. never get an eye-wink of her.-I had myself
twenty I am damned in hell, for swearing to gentlemen my angels given me this morning : but I defy all angels friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way of and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her honesty :-and, I warrant you, they could never get fan, I took’t upon my honour, thou hadst it not. Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fif- them all: and yet there has been earls, nay, which
her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of teen pence? Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason : Think’st thou, with her.
is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one I'll endanger my soul gratis ? At a word, hang nó Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good more about me, I am no gibbet for you :--go. -Ashe Mercury. short knife and a throng: -to your manor of Pickt- Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter , hatch, go. You'll not bear a letter for me, you for the which she thanks you a thousand times rogue - you stand upon your honour !-Why, thou and she gives you to notify, that her husband will unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to be absence from his house between ten and eleven: keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I my Fal. Ten and eleven? self sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, and see the picture, she says, that you woi of;
Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet master Ford, her husband, will be from home. you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a- Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him ; mountain looks, your red-lattice
phrases, and your he's a very jealousy man ; she leads a very frambold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your ho- poldo life with him, good heart. nour ! You will not do it, you? Pist. I do relent; What would'st thou more of her ; I will not fail her.
Fal. Ten and eleven? Woman, commend me to man?
Quick. Why, you say well : But I have another Enter Robin.
messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath
her hearty commendations to you too ;-and let me Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss your
tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest Fal. Let her approach.
morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, Enter Mistress Quickly.
whoe'er be the other and she bade me tell your
worship, that her husband is seldom from home; Quick. Give your worship good-morrow. but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never Fal. Good-morrow, good wife.
knew a woman so dote upon a man: surely, I think 17 Quick. Not so, an't please your worship. you have charms, la; yes, in truth.
Fal. Good maíd, then ?
Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction first hour I was born.
Fal. I do believe the swearer : What with me? Quick. Blessing on your heart fort! Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this; has Ford's or two?
wife, and Page’s wife, acquainted each other how Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouch- they love me? safe thee the hearing.
Quick. That were a jest, indeed !-they have not Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir ; -- I pray, so little grace, I hope :--that
were a trick, indeed! come a little nearer this ways :-I'myself dwell But mistress Page would desire you to send her with master doctor Caius.
your little page, of all loves; lo her husband has a Fal. Well, on : Mistress Ford, you say, marvellous intection to the little page : and, truly,
Quick. Your worship says very true: I pray your master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in worship, come a little nearer this ways. Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what
Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears ;-mine own she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to people, mine own people.
bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she Quick. Are they so ? Heaven bless them, and will; and truly she deserves it: for if there be a make them his servants !
kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must Fal. Well : mistress Ford ;-what of her? send her your page; no remedy.
Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Fal. Why, I will. lord ! your worship's a wanton : Well, heaven for- Quick. Nay, but do so then : and, look you, he give you, and all of us, I pray !
may come and go between you both; and, in any Fal. Mistress Ford-come, mistress Ford. case have a nay-word," that you may know one Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of another's mind, and the boy never need to under (1) Pay you again in stolen goods,
(6) Ale-house. Draws along with you.
3) A mistake of Mrs. Quickly’s for quandary. To cut purses in a crowd.
(8) Know. (9) Fretful, peevish.
stand any thing; for 'tis not good that children! Fal. Very well, sir ; proceed. should know any wickedness; old folks, you know, Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her have discretion, as they say, and know the world. husband's name is Ford.
Fal. Fare thee well : commend me to them Fal. Well, sir. both: there's my purse: I am yet thy debtor. Ford. I have long loved her, and, I protest to Boy, go along with this woman.-This news dis- you, bestowed much on her ; followed her with a tracts me!
(Exeunt Quickly and Robin. doting observance ; engrossed opportunities to Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers :- meet her ; see'd every slight occasion, that could Clap on' more sails ; pursue, up with your fights ; but niggardly give me sight of her: not only Give fire ; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them bought many presents to give her, but have given all!
[Exit Pistol. largely to many, to know what she would have Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; given: briefly, I have pursued her, as love hath I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. pursued me; which hath been, on the wing of all Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, aster occasions. But whatsover I have merited," either the expense of so much money, be now a gainer ? in my mind, or in my means, meed,• I am sure, I Good body, I thank thee: Let them say, 'uis grossly have received none ; unless experience be a jewel : done; so it be fairly done, no matter.
that I have purchased at an infinite rate ; and that
nath taught me to say this: Enter Bardolph.
Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pun. Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below
sues; would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues. you ; and hath sent your worship a morning's Fal. Have you received no promise of satisfao. draught of sack.
tion at her hands? Fal. Brook, is his name?
Ford. Never. Bard. Ay, sir.
Fal. Have you importuned her to such a pur. Fal. Call him in; (Exit Bardolph.) Such, Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such
Ford. Never. liquor. Ah! ha! mistress Ford and mistress
Fal. Or what quality was your love then ? Page, have I encompassed you? go to; via !" Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another
man's ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford disguised.
mistaking the place where I erected it.
Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this Ford. Bless you, sir.
to me? Fal. And you, sir; Would you speak with me? Ford. I make bold, to press with so little pre- you all. Some say, that, though she appear honest
Ford. When I have told you that, I have told paration upon you. Fal. You're welcome; What's your will ? Give mirth 'so far, that there is shrewd construction
to me, yet, in other places, she enlargelh her us leave, drawer.
(Erit Bardolph. made of her. Now, sir John, here is the heart of Ford. 'Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent my purpose : You are a gentleman of excellent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaint- tance, authentic in your place and person, gene
breeding, admirable discourse, of great admite ance of you. Ford. Good sir John, I sue for yours: not to and learned preparations.
rally alloweds for your many warlike, court-liks, charge you; for I must let you understand, I think
Fal. O, sir! myself in better plight for a lender than you are: Ford. Believe it, for you know it:- There is the which hath something enboldened me to this money; spend ith spend it; spend more ; spend unseasoned intrusion ; for they say, if money go all I have; only give me so much of your lime in before, all ways do lie open.
exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the Fal. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here win her to consent to you; if any man may, you
honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing, troubles me; if you will help me to bear it, sir
mav as soon as any. John, take all, or hall, for easing me of the car- Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of riage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your affection, that I should win what you would
enjoy? Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very your porter.
preposterously. Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me
Ford. O, understand my drist! she dwells so the hearing. Fal. Speak, good master Brook : I shall be glad the folly of my soul dares not present itself; "she is
securely on the excellency of her honour, that to be your servant.
too bright to be looked against. Now, could'I come Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar,-I will be to her with any detection in my hand, my desires brief with you ; and you have been a man had instance and argument to commend themselves; long known to me, though I had never so good I could drive her then from the warde of her purity, means, as desire, to make myself acquainted with her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein 1 other her defences, which
now are too strongly must very much lay open mine own imperfection : embattled against me; What say you to't, sir but, good sir John, as you have one eye upon my John ? follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with into the register of your own; that I may pass with your money; next, give me your hand, and last, a reproof the easier, sith you yoursell know, how as I am a gentleman, you
shall, if you will, enjoy casy it is to be such an offender.
Ford's wife. (1) A cant phrase of exultation.
(4) In the greatest companies. (5) Approved. (2) Since orx. (3) Reward.
Ford. O good sir !
Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no Fal. Master Brook, I say you shall. come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no Ford. Want no money, sir John, you shall want come; by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if none.
he become. Pal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you Rug. He is wise, sir: he knew your worship shall want none. I shall be with her (I may tell would kill him, if he came. you,) by her own appointment; even as you came Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from kill him.. Take your rapier, Jack ; I vill tell you me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and how I vill kill him. eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence. her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at Caius. Villain-a, take your rapier. night ; you shall know how I speed.
Rug. Forbear; here's company. Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?
Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page. Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not:-yet I wrong him, to call him poor;
they Host. 'Bless thee, bully doctor. say, the jealous witholly knave hath masses of Shal. 'Save you, master doctor Caius. money; for the which his wife seems to me well- Page. Now, good master doctor! favoured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly
Slen. Give you good-morrow, sir. rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.
Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir ; that you
(for? might avoid him, if you saw him.
Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue ! 1 thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there; will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, my cudgel : it shall hang like a meteor o'er the thy distance, thy montánt. Is he dead, my Ethicuckold's horns : master Brook, thou shalt know, opian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! I will predominate o'er the peasant, and thou shall What says my Æsculapius? my Galen? my heari lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night :-of elder ? hal is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead? Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile ;
Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of thou master Brook, shalt know him for a knave de world: he is not show his face. and cuckold :-come to me soon at night. (Exit.. Host. Thou art a Castilian king, Urinal! HecFord. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this: tor
of Greece, my boy! -My heart is ready to crack with impatience- Caius. I pray you, bear witness that me have Who says, this is improvident jealousy My wife stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is is no come. made. Would any man have thought this ?-See Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is the hell of having a false woman! my bed shall a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies ; if you be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation should fight, you go against the hair of your prognawn at; and I shall not only receive this villa- fessions : is it not true, master Page ? nous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abomi- Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been nable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Terms! names ! _Amaimon sounds well; Lü: Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be cifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devil's old, and of the peace, if I see
sword out, my additions, the names of fiends:
but cuckold! wit- finger itches to make one: though we are justices, tol2 cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we name. Page is an ass, a secure ass;
he will trust have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons his wife, he will not be jealous: 'I will rather of women, master Page. trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Page. Tis true, master Shallow. Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my
Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master aquavitæð bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself
a then she ruminates, then she devises : and what wise physician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself they think in their hearts they may effect, they a wise and patient churchman: you must go with will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven me, master doctor. be praised for my jealousy !-Eleven o'clock the
Host. Pardon, guest justice :-A word, monsieur hour; I will prevent this, detect my wife, be re- Muck-water ?" venged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will
Caius. Muck-vater! vat is dat? about it ; better three hours too soon, than a
Host. Muck-water, in our English tongue, is minute too late. Fie, fie, fie ! cuckold ! cuckold i valour, bully. cuckold !
Caius. By gar, then I have as much muck-vater
as de Englishman:-Scurvy jack-dog priest! by SCENE III.-Windsor Park. Enter Caius
gar, me vill cut his ears. and Rugby.
Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Caius. Jack Rugby!
Caius. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-deRug. Sir.
claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it. Calus. Vat is de clock, Jack ?
Host. And I will provoke him to't, or let him Rug. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh pro-wag. mised to meet.
Caius. Me tank you for dat.
Host. And moreover, bully,-But his master Add to his title. (2) Contented cuckold.
Usquebaugh. (4) Fence. 3) Terms in fencing.
(6) Cant term for Spaniard.