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And there he blasts the trees, and takes the cattle,
Page. Why, yet there want not many that do fear
Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device,
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
Mrs. Page. That likewise we have thought upon, and thus :
Mrs. Ford. And 'till he tell the truth,
Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
Ford. The children must
Èva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-a-napes also, to burn the knight with my taper.
Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.
Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies; Finely attired in a robe of white.
Page. That filk will I go buy, and in that ʼtire Shall master Slender steal my Nan away,
[aside. And marry her at Eaton. Go, send to Falstaff straight.
Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook; he'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come.
Mrs. Page. Fear not you that; go, get us properties, and tricking for
fairies. Eva. Let us about it; it is admirable pleasures, and ferry honest knaveries.
[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send Quickly to fir John, to know his mind. [Exit. Mrs. Ford. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an ideot; And him my husband best of all affects : The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier came to crave her. [Exit.
Enter Host, and Simple. HAT wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.
Simp. Marry, fir, I come to speak with fir John Falstaff from master Slender.
Hoft. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standingbed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new; go, knock and call; he'll speak like an anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.
Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, 'till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.
Hoft. Ha! a fat woman? the knight may be robb’d: I'll call. Bully-knight! bully-fir John! speak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine hoft, thine Ephesian' calls.
Enter Falstaff. Fal. How now, mine host?
Hoft. Here's a Bobemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman : let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable. Fie, privacy? fie!
Fal. There was, mine hoft, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.
Simp. Pray you, sir, was't not the wife woman of Brainford? Fal
. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell, what would you with her? Simp. My master, fir, my master Slender sent to her, seeing her go through the street, to know, fir, whether one Nym, fir, that beguild him of a chain, had the chain or no.
Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Fal. Marry, she says, that the very fame man that beguild master Slender of his chain cozen'd him of it.
Simp. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too from him.
Fal. What are they? let us know.
Simp. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne
Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
[Exit Simple. Hoft. Thou art clerkly; thou art clerkly, fir John: was there a wise woman with thee?
Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host, one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I pay'd nothing for it neither, but was pay'd for my learning.
S CE N E IX.
Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a slough of mire, and set spurs, and away; like three German devils, three doctor Faustus's.
Hoft. They are gone but to meet the duke; villain, do not say they be Aed; Germans are honest men.
Eva Have a care of your entertainments; there is a friend o'mine come to town tells me there is three cozen-jermans that has cozen'd all the hosts of Reading, of Maiden-head, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look you; you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened; fare you well. [Exit.
Enter Caius. Caius. Ver is mine hoft de jartere ? Hoft. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.
Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a me, dat you make a grand preparation for a duke de Jamany; by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is know, to come: I tell you for good will; adieu.
TĒxit. Hoft. Hue and cry, villain, go; assift me, knight, I am undone; fly, run, hue and cry, villain ; I am undone. [Exit.
Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen'd, for I have been cozened, and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgeld, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermens boots with me. I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, 'till I were as crest-faln as a dry'd pear. I never prosper'd since I forswore myself at Primeró. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent. Now, whence come you?
Enter mistress Quickly. Quic. From the two parties, forsooth.
Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestow'd! I have suffer’d more for their fakes, more than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.
Quic. And have they not suffer’d? yes, I warrant, speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.
Fal. What tell’st thou me of black and blue ? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rain-bow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford; but that my
admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the action of a wode woman, deliver'd
the knave constable had set me i' th' stocks, i'th' common stocks, for a witch.