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Enter Adriana, and Luciana.
Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholis, look strange, and frown;
Some other mistress hath some sweet aspects,
I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
The time was once, when thou unurg'd wouldft vow,
That never words were musick to thine ear,
That never object pleasing in thine eye,
That never touch well welcome to thy hand,
That never meat sweet-favour'd in thy taste,
Unless I fpake, or look’d, or touch’d, or carv’d.
How comes it now, my husband, o, how comes it,
That thou art thus estranged from thyself?
Thyself I call it, being strange to me:
That, undividable, incorporate,
Am better than thy dear self's better part.
Ah, do not tear away thyself from me;
For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulph,
And take unmingled thence that drop again,
Without addition, or diminishing,
As take from me thyself, and not me too.
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Should'st thou but hear I were licentious ?
And that this body, consecrate to thee,
By ruffian lust should be contaminate?
Would'st thou not spit at me, and spurn at me,
And hurl the name of husband in my face,
And tear the stain'd skin off
Ant. You would all this time have prov'd, there is no time for all things.
S. Dro. Marry, and did, fir; namely, no time to recover hair loft by nature.
Ant. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no time to recover.
S. Dro. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and, therefore, to the world's end, will have bald followers.
Ant. I knew, 'twou'd be a bald conclufion.
SCENE V. &c.
And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring,
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow ?
I know, thou would'ft; and therefore, see, thou do it.
I am possess’d with an adulterate blot;
My blood is mingled with the crime of luft:
For if we two be one, and thou play false,
I do digest the poison of thy flesh,
Being strumpeted by thy contagion.
Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed;
I live unftain'd, thou undishonoured.
Ant. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not:
In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
As strange unto your town as to your talk.
Luc. Fie, brother, how the world is chang’d with you !
When were you wont to use my sister thus ?
She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.
Ant. By Dromio ?
S. Dro. By me?
Adr. By thee; and thus thou didst return from him,
That he did buffet thee, and in his blows
Deny'd my house for his, me for his wife.
Ant. Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?
What is the course and drift of your compact ?
S. Dro. I, sir? I never saw her 'till this time.
Ant. Villain, thou lieft; for even her very
words Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.
S. Dro. I never spake with her in all
Ant. How can she thus then call us by our names, Unless it be by inspiration ?
Adr. How’ill agrees it with your gravity, To counterfeit thus grosly with your slave, Abetting him to thwart me in my mood !
Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd,
Wants wit in all one word to understand.
Luc. Fie, brother, &c.
Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt,
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine;
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine :
Whose weakness marry'd to thy stronger state,
Makes me with thy strength to communicate;
If ought possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss,
Which all for want of pruning, with intrusion,
Infect thy fap, and live on thy confusion.
Ant. To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme;
What, was I marry'd to her in my dream?
Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this?
What error drives our eyes and ears amifs ?
Until I know this sure uncertainty,
I'll entertain the favour'd fallacy.
Luc. Dromio, go, bid the servants spread for dinner.*
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye, and weep,
Whilft man and master laugh my woes to scorn.
Come, fir, to dinner ; Dromio, keep the gate;
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
of a thousand idle pranks; Sirrah, if any
servants spread for dinner.
S. Dro. O for my beads ! I cross me for a sinner.
This is the fairy land: o spite of spites !
We talk with goblins, owls, and elvilh sprights ;
If we obey them not, this will ensue,
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.
Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself,
Dromio, thou Dromio, snail, thou flug, thou sot?
S. Dro. I am transformed, mafter, am I not?
Ant. I think, thou art in mind, and so am I.
S. Dro. Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.
Ant. Thou hast thine own form.
S. Dro. No; I am an ape.
Luc. If thou art chang'd to ought, 'tis to an ass.
S. Dro. 'Tis true, the rides me, and I long for grass..
'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be,
But I should know her as well as the knows me.
Adr. Come, come, &c.
Say, he dines forth, and let 110. creature enter :
Come, sister ;. Dromio, play the porter well.
Ant. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping, or waking, mad, or well advis’d?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis’d?
I'll say as they say, and persever fo;
And in this mist at all adventures, go.
S. Dro. Master, shall I be porter at the gate ?
Adr. Ay, let none enter, lest I break your pate.
Luc. Come, come, Antipholis, we dine too late. (Exeunt.
ACT III. SCENE I.
The Street before Antipholis's House. Enter Antipholis of Ephesus, Dromio of Ephesus, Angelo,
E. ANTIPHOL IS.
VOOD fignior Angelo, you must excuse us ;
My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours;
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop
To see the making of her carkanet,
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain that would face me down
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,
And charg’d him with a thousand marks in gold';
And that I did deny my wife and house:
Thou drunkard thou, what didst thou mean by this ?"
I think, thou art an ass.
didst thou mean by this?
E. Dro. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know,
That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show;
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,
Your hand-writing would tell you what I think.
E. Ant. I think, &c.
E. Dro. Marry, doth it so appear
By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear?
I should kick being kick’d; and, being at that pass,
You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass.
E. Ant. Y'are sad, signior Balthazar. Pray god, our cheer
May answer my good will, and your good welcome.*
But, soft; my door is lock’d; go, bid them let us in.
E. Dro. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian !
S. Dro. [within] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot,
, patch, Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch: Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call’ft for such store, When one is one too many ? go, get thee from the door."
and your good welcome.
Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.
E. Ant. Ab signior Balthazar, either at Aeth or fish,
A table-full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.
Bal. Good meat, fir, is common; that every churl affords.
E. Ant. And welcome more common ; for that's nothing but words.
Bal. Small cheer, and good welcome, makes a merry feast.
E. Ant. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest :
Rut though my cates be mean, take them in good part;
Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.
But, soft; my door is lock'd; &c.
get thee from the door.
E. Dro. What patch is made our porter? my master stays in the street.
S. Dro. Let him walk from whence he came, left he catch cold on's feet.
E. Ant. Who talks within there? hoa, open the door.
S. Dro. Right, fir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.
E. Ant. Wherefore? for my dinner: I have not din'd to-day.
S. Dro. Nor to-day here you must not: come again when you may.
E. Ant. What art thou that keep'ft me out from the house I owe?
S. Dro. The porter for this time, fir, and my name is Dromio.
E. Dro. O villain, thou haft stol'n both mine office and my name.
The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame;
If thou hadft been Dromio to-day in my place,
Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.
Luce. [within.) What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the gate ?
E. Dro. Let my master in, Luce.
Luce. 'Faith, no; he comes too late ;
And so tell your mafter.
E. Dro. O lord, I must laugh;
Have at you with a proverb: Shall I set in my staff?
Luce. Have at you with another; that's, when ? can you tell ?
S. Dro. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.
S. Ant. Do you hear, you minion, you'll let us in, I hope ?
Luce. I thought to have alk'd you.
S. Dro. And you said, no.
E. Dro. So, come, help, well struck; there was blow for blow.
E. Ant. Thou baggage, let me in.