termined to push forward to the East Indies, and make his fortune át once. He sailed on board a Dutch ship bound to Batavia, and thence to Bombay. The only acquaintance he had in this part of the globe was Lieutenant- son of one of our hero's father's tenants, an officer in the Company's service, who received him in the most friendly manner, and questioned him as to his intentions and future views in India. But how surprised was he to find our hero determined to accept of no situation or office except that of Commander in Chief. He argued with him at full length, on the madness of such an attempt, and advised him to enter the Company's service as a cadet and rise by degrees, at the same time assuring him that there was no other mode, which would ultimately ensure success. Our hero, who always grasped at the end, without studying the intermediate steps necessary to attain it, told him, that he was a mean sneaking fellow, fit only to crawl through the inferior walks of life-That as for himself, he was born and educated a gentleman, and was determined to act as such. This said, he walked off, with an air of as much importance as if he had been the Emperor of China. Lieutenant who was a well informed young man, from this instant, set our hero down as an arrant blockhead, and determined to have no further concern with him. It is needless, as well as impossible, to enumerate one hundredth part of our hero's plans to raise himself to the rank of commander in chief, every one of which necessarily proved abortive. He had now sauntered away two years at Bombay, and reduced his finances from L3,000 to L100; longer delay would have been fatal; therefore he formed the virtuous resolution of ruin ing the British government in India at one blow, and with this view arrived at Seringapatam, and offered his services to Tippoo Saib, who was at this time introducing Euro pean military tactics into his ar my. Glad of such an acquisition, (for Billy blustered, and promised a hundred times more than the most skilful Generals could have performed,) Tippoo entered into terms with him. The next day a regiment of infantry were drawn up, and Billy ordered to put them through the European exercise, in which they had already made considerable progress. Attention, bawled our hero. Very well, very well, by G-d. Unfix bayonets, the regiment remained motionless. Unfix bayonets. The regiment still remained motionless. Bl-st your souls, unfix bayonets. Here one of the officers reminded Billy that bayonets could not be unfixed before they were fixed. Very right, very right! Well, gentlemen, come to attention again. Shoulder arms. Vastly well done. Ramm down cartridge. Not a man stirred. Ramm down cartridge. Bl-st your eyes what do you mean. Here Billy was again reminded that they had no cartridge to ramm down. Very true! Well, gentleinen, come to the shoulder again. Present arms. Admirably done. Fire. Not a man stirred. Fire. Fire. All was motionless. Fire. D -n your souls, why don't you Fire. Because they have not loaded, exclaimed Tippoo in a rage, informing our tactician that he had no farther occasion for his services. Poor Billy had no alternative but to retrace his steps to Bombay, with hardly L.10 in his pocket. On his arrival here he entered on board an Indiaman bound to London, and worked his passage home as a common sailor. He at last reached his father's house after an absence of of six years, but literally in rags, Imagining however that the scenes he had gone through had at least taught him common sense, his friends provided him with decent clothes, and urged him to choose some occupation, but how were they surprised to find him make choice of Member of Parliament for the county. Seeing him the same fool as ever, his father compelled him to become apprentice to a haberdasher of some eminence. As I was in the custom of having some little dealings with this same shop, I shall present your readers with an account drawn out by our hero. tried a variety of projects for making his fortune, but without success. He was alternately seen riding in a coach, and driving a dung cart, dining on the greatest delicacies, or begging a morsel of bread. At last he ventured within a few miles of his native spot, and wrote a letter to his father, who sent him two suits of old cloaths and L.10, ordering peremptorily never to let him see his face. On receipt of this supply, he was as happy as a prince, and that very night spent every shilling of the money in a brothel. Our hero's history now becomes pretty uniform, there is hardly a nation on earth which he has not visited. But his great and general resource was begging in the character of a shipwrecked sailor. married above fifty wives in hopes of making a fortune, but in every instance caught a Tartar. He never ventured to visit his native spot, though he frequently solicited a supply from his father, and trequently received it. His father died two years ago, and in order to provide equally for his family, had L.1 7 11 previously sold his estate, and by his will left our hero L.3,000. soon as he heard of this circumstance, he appeared and claimed his legacy, which was accordingly paid him. Makum Makdomoni, Dr. To 6 yerds Flanin at 2s. 2 d. To 3 yerds smal Kord at 2s. 10d. 2d. To 2 pars Glufs at 3s. 15 9 11 2 1st Guly, By Kash in 170082. fool L. 3 15 19 Resaved at this Det. by Wm. Hopfil. It is almost unnecessary to inform you that our hero's polite education was not at all calculated for this humble occupation. Here however he obtained some indistinct notions of money negotiations, and having discounted a draft on his father to the amount of L.100, and embezzled his master's property to double that amount, he eloped, and was not heard of for three years; during which time he had As Had Billy's whole train of ideas not been incorrigibly genteel and polite, he might now have lived comfortably enough, on an economical scale, but his views were n high and extravagant as ever. He instantly purchased half a score of hunting horses, a pack of hounds. and half a dozen double barelled guns; engaged a groom, a huntsman, livery servants, &c. and in six months spent every shilling. Billy Hopeful had now attained his 5:4 year, and as any alteration in his genteel propensities was totaly hopeless, his natural brother Horatio, settled settled 2s. 6d. a day on him, and took care to give him his allowance daily. On this small pittance, with a suit of old cloaths now and then, our hero contrives to get himself tipsy every day, and in this state I must leave him to lead the life of a gentleman during the remainder of his days. But I cannot here forbear, nor do I think myself ill qualified, to make a few observations on genteel education, and to rectify a few common mistakes on that head. Genteel education is not, as is generally imagined, the production of the present day. On the contrary it was as eagerly sought after 50 years ago as at present. Our grammatical English and English ac'cents have existed upwards of a 'century. Still I do not pretend to deny that genteel education has undergone many useful and important alterations, even within these few years. In my younger days, it was foolishly imagined that some sort of capacity and application on the part of the pupil, with profound knowledge, and consummate attention on the part of the teacher, during the long course of at least ten years, was necessary. But at this period, education was a kind of chaos, or undefined mass, comprehending the semina of polite and vulgar, or (which is the same thing) of superficial and substantial education. By this indigested system, which was generally pursued till within these 15 years, many of our prime nobility had the misfortune to become acquainted with the Greek and Román classics, and contracted a certain solid way of thinking and reasoning, commonly called Pedantry, which they were never after able to shake off. The great merit of the present age consists chiefly in dissecting this chaos, and dividing it into two distinct systems of education, the one calculated for the noble and genteel, and the other for the rude and barbarous part of mankind. By this means a gentleman, who is able to pay handsomely, may have his son educated in every branch of literature in as short a time as be pleases. Indeed those superior beings who are born to opulence, have no occasion to pore their brains out over musty books. They have little else to do in the world but to eat, drink, and propagate. Their stewart manages their estate, the housekeeper and cook their victuals, the groom their horses, the attor ney their charters, the butler their wines, &c. &c. The only plausible objection I have heard against the genteel system is, that it cannot qualify its votaries for Legislators; but this a mere cavil, as the merits or demerits of any act of Parlia ment, are only known from the ap probation, or snarling of the barbarous part of mankind. An act can be amended, till it is rendered palatable, or if radically wrong, the radical cure of repeal can be administered. Some people have remark ed, that these genteel pupils have remarkably bad memories, and recollect no part of their education, after they come into the world. To this I shall only reply, that genteel people have no need either of edu cation or memory. Lest, however, any vulgar fellow should think this argument inconclusive, I need only point out the noble invention of Mynheer Von Feinaigle, who will furnish artificial memories at the very low rate of L.5. 5s. each. As to the industrious ranks of society I am sorry to observe, that they are fast treading in the steps of their superiors, and educating their children in so polite and superficial a manner, as totally to unqualify them for any useful purpose in life. So far indeed have they carried carried this propensity, that I know a taylor's cow, that will not give her milk unless soothed by English accents, and a carter's horse, who will not move one step, unless he receives his orders in grammatical English. So long as the useful part of mankind are well informed, and substantially educated, no adminis the public, that the one will in every respect answer the purpose as well as the other, though I can afford my head piece for half a crown. Description of the Ruins of Sparta. tration can do us much harm. But proceeded for an hour along if ever the industrious classes should reach the sublime pitch of gentility attained by many of our polite representatives, and (instead of being able to discriminate betwixt right and wrong,) become only capable of uttering the emphatical monosyllables Aye and No, in antiquum confundimur chaos. To prevent so direful a catastrophe, I would beg leave to recommend to the patriotic Sir John Sinclair to get a bill introduced into Parliament, making it felony without benefit of clergy, for any man to give his children a polite education who is not possessed of terra firma to the value of L. 5,000 per annum. This would be fixing a permanent barrier betwixt nobility and ignobility, and would have an infallible tendency to ensure the prosperity of the nation, and the stability of the throne. As to the higher ranks, I would propose no alteration. Many of our best kings, when granting charters, were obliged to bite the wax with their teeth, or add the impression of the crucifix. Polite education indeed comes very high, and costs at least twenty times as much as it did twenty years ago, but then it is accomplished in one twentieth part of the time. Mr Feinaigle has supplied one great desideratum in polite literature, viz. an artificial memory, and I have been labouring hard these six weeks past, in manufacturing an artificial head piece, and from some important experiments already made upon it, I can with confidence pledge myself to February 1812. west, when, at break of day, I perceived some ruins and a long wall of antique construction: my heart began to palpitate. The Janissary turning towards me pointed with his whip to a whitish cottage on the right, and exclaimed, with a look of satisfaction, "Palæochori!" I went towards the principal ruin, which I perceived upon an eminence. On turning this eminence by the northwest for the purpose of ascending it, I was suddenly struck with the view of a vast ruin of semicircular form, which I instantly knew to be an ancient theatre. I am not able to describe the crowd of feelings which overpowered me. The hill at the foot of which I stood, was consequently the hill of the citadel of Sparta, since the theatre was contiguous to the citadel; the ruin which I beheld upon that hill was of course the temple of Minerva Chalcioecos, since that temple was in the citadel, and the fragments of the long wall which I had passed lower down must have formed part of the quarter of the Cynosuri, since that quarter was to the north of the city. Sparta was then before me; and its theatre, to which my good fortune conducted me on my first arrival, gave me at once the positions of all the quarters and edifices. I alighted, and ran all the way up the hill of the citadel. Just as I reached the top, the sun was rising behind the hills of Menelaion. How magnificent, yet how how melancholy a spectacle! The solitary stream of the Eurotas running beneath the remains of the bridge Babyx; ruins on every side, and not a living being to be seen among them. I stood motionless, in a kind of stupor, at the contemplation of this scene. A mixture of admiration and grief checked the current of my thoughts, and fixed me to the spot: profound silence reigned around me. Determined, at least, to make echo speak in a spot where the human voice is no longer heard, I shouted with all my might: "Leonidas! Leonidas!" No ruin repeated this great name: Sparta herself seemed to have forgotten her hero. When my agitation had subsided, I began to study the ruins around me. The summit of the hill was a platform encompassed, especially to the north-west, by thick walls. I went twice round it, and counted one thousand five hundred and sixty, and one thousand five hundred and sixty-six ordinary paces; or nearly seven hundred and eighty geometrical paces; but it should be remarked, that in this circuit I comprehend the whole summit of the hill, including the curve formed by the excavation of the theatre. This was the theatre that Leroi examined. Some ruins partly buried in the ground, and partiy rising above the surface, indicate, nearly in the centre of this platform, the foundations of the temple of Minerva Chalciœcos, where Pausanias in vain sought refuge and lost his life, A sort of flight of steps, seventy feet wide, and of an extremely gentle descent, leads from the -south-side of the hill down to the plain. This was perhaps the way that conducted to the citadel, which was not a place of any great atrength till the time of the tyrants of Lacedæmon. At the commencement of these steps, and above the theatre, I saw a small edifice of a circular form, three-fourths of which were destroyed: the nitches within it seem equally well adapted for the reception of statues or of urns. Is it a tomb? Is it the temple of the armed Venus? The latter must have stood nearly on this spot, and belonged to the quarter of the Egides. Cæsar, who boasted of being descended from Venus, had the figure of the armed Venus engraved on his ring: it was in fact, the two-fold emblem of the weakness and glory of that great man. If the reader will place himself with me upon the hill of the citadel, he will then see the following objects around him: To the east, that is, towards the Eurotas, a hill, oblong and levelled at the top, as if for the purpose of a race-course or hippodrome: two other hills, one on each side of that just mentioned, form with it two hollows, in which you perceive the ruins of the bridge Babyx, and the current of the Eurotas. yond the river, the view is bounded by a chain of reddish hills which compose Mount Menelaion. Beyond these hills, the high mountains which border the gulf of Argos, tower in the distance. Be In this space, seen to the eastward, between the citadel and the Eurotas, looking north and south by east, in a parallel direction to the course of the river, we must place the quarter of the Limnates, the temple of Lycurgus, the palace of the king Demaratus, the quarters of the Egides and the Messoates, one of the Leschi, the monument of Cadmus, the temples of Hercules and Helen, and the Platanista. In this extensive space, I counted seven ruins standing, above ground, but absolutely shapeless and dilapidated. As I was at liberty to choose, |