Ford. Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.

Fal. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment-even as you came in to me, her assistant, or gobetween, parted from me:-I say I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.

Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?

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Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not:—yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the jealous wittolly1 knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well-favour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.

Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him, if you saw him.

Fal. Hang him, mechanical2 salt-butter3 rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. [Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife.--] Come to me soon at night:-Ford 's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold: ---come to me soon at night. [Exit. 299

Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him, the hour is fix'd, the match is made. Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abus'd, my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villanous

1 Wittolly, like a wittol, i.e. a willing cuckold.

2 Mechanical, having a trade, used in contempt.

3 Salt-butter-fed on coarse food.

Aggravate his style, i.e. add to his titles that of cuckold. Improvident, heedless, rash.

wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him who does me this wrong. Terms! names!-Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions,7 the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol-cuckold!8 the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass: he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be prais'd for my jealousy! -Eleven o'clock the hour:-I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! [Exit.

SCENE III. A field near Windsor.
Enter CAIUS and RUGBY.
Caius. Jack Rugby,-

Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Caius. By gar, me do look he shall clapperde-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it. Host. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him wag.

Caius. Me tank you for dat.

Host. And, moreover, bully,- But first, master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore. [Aside to them.

Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Host. He is there: see what humour he is

in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?

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Shal. We will do it. Page, Shal., and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.

Host. Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?

Caius. By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

Host. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?

Caius. By gar, 't is good; vell said. 100 Host. Let us wag, then.

Caius.Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.[Exeunt.

SCENE. I. A field near Frogmore.

"To shallow rivers, to whose falls"— 31 Heaven prosper the right!—What weapons is he?

Sim. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way. Evans. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. [Reads in a book.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Shal. How now, master parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from

3 Vagram, for vagrant.

the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.

40

Slen. [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne Page! Page. 'Save you, good Sir Hugh! Evans. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!

Shal. What, the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose this raw rheumatic day?

Evans. There is reasons and causes for it. Page. We are come to you to do a good office, master parson.

Evans. Fery well: what is it?

50

100

Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer! Caius. Ay, dat is very good; excellent. Host. Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. -Give me thy hand, terrestrial; [taking Caius hand] so.-Give me thy hand, celestial; [taking Evans' hand] so. [Host joins their hands in token of reconciliation]-Boys of art, I have deceiv'd you both; I have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue.-Come, lay their swords to pawn.-Follow me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.

Shal. Trust me, a mad host.--Follow, gentlemen, follow.

Slen. [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt Shallow, Slender, Page, and Host. Caius. Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?

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Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

Ford. Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

Mrs. Page. Be sure of that,-two other husbands.

Ford. Where had you this pretty weathercock?

Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of.-What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?

Rob. Sir John Falstaff.

Ford. Sir John Falstaff!

21

pieces out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her: -a man may hear this shower sing in the wind:-and Falstaffs boy with her!-Good plots!--they are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrow'd veil of modesty from the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page3 himself for a secure1 and wilful Acteon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim.5 [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search: there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather prais'd for this than mock'd; for it is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there: I will go.

50

Slen. I hope I have your good will, father Page.

Page. You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

Host. What say you to young Master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will carry 't, he will carry 't; 't is in his buttons; he will carry 't.. Page. Not by my consent, I promise you.

2 Motion, motive, incitement. Divulge Page, i.e. proclaim Page.

+ Secure, wanting in circumspection.

5 Cry aim (to) = approve of.

6 In his buttons in his capacity or power.