Leon. You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them. Beat. Alas, he gets nothing by that! In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man govern'd with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference3 between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature.-Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. Mess. Is't possible? Beat. Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. Mess. I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. 77 79 Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. 5 85 Beat. O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cur'd. Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady. Leon. You will never run mad, niece. Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, 90 Bene. Were you in doubt, sir, that you ask'd her? Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. D. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick; we may guess by this what you are, being a man. -Truly, the lady fathers herself."—Be happy, lady; for you are like an honourable father. [Retires to a little distance with Leonato: they converse apart. Bene. If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody marks you. Bene. What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living? 5 Presently, immediately. 6 You have it full, i.e. you are fully answered. 120 Beat. Is it possible disdain should die while she hath meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert1 to disdain, if you come in her presence. 125 Bene. Then is courtesy a turncoat.-But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. Beat. A dear happiness3 to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. Bene. God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate scratched face. 135 Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an 't were such a face as yours were. Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. Beat. A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. 141 Bene. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, o' God's name; I have done. Beat. You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old. D. Pedro. [Coming forward with Leonato] This is the sum of all: Leonato,-Signior Claudio and Signior Benedick,- my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.-[To Don John] Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. D. John. I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. 160 Leon. Please it your grace lead on? D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato; we will go together. [Exeunt all except Benedick and Claudio. Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato? 1 Convert be converted or changed. 2 Of=by. 3 A dear happiness = a precious piece of good fortune. Bene. Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise. -(Act i. 1. 173-175) Claud. No; I pray thee speak in sober judgment. Bene. Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. Claud. Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me truly how thou likest her. 180 Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire after her? Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel? Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad1 brow? or do you play the flouting Jack2 [to tell us Cupid is a {good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter]? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in3 the song? Claud. In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I look'd on. 190 D. Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance. Bene. You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance,-mark you this, on my allegiance. He is in love. With who?now that is your grace's part.-Mark how short his answer is;-with Hero, Leonato's short daughter. Claud. If this were so, so were it utter'd. Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: "it is not so, nor 't was not so; but indeed, God forbid it should be so." 1 Sad, serious. 2 The flouting Jack the mocking rascal. 3 To go in to join with you in. 220 4 With suspicion, i.e. with the suspicion of having horns under it. Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is (for the which I may go the finer), I will live a bachelor. D. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. 250 Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love: [prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid.] D. Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapp'd on the shoulder, and call'd Adam. 261 To fetch me in, i.e. to draw me into a confession. Recheat, a term of the chase; the call sounded on the horn to bring the dogs back. 7 Baldrick, a belt, usually worn across the body. 8 Fine, conclusion. 9 A bottle, i.e. a small wooden barrel. D. Pedro. Well, as time shall try: "In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke." Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write, "Here is good horse to hire," let them signify under my sign, "Here you may see Benedick the married man." Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad. 270 D. Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. Bene. I look for an earthquake too, then. D. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the mean time, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's: commend me to him, and tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made great preparation. 280 Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you,Claud. To the tuition of God: From my house (if I had it),— D. Pedro. The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick. Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is sometimes guarded1 with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout3 old ends any further, examine your conscience: and so I leave you. [Erit. Claud. My liege, your highness now may do me good. D. Pedro. My love is thine to teach: teach it but how, And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn Claud. Hath Leonato any son, my lord? D. Pedro. No child but Hero; she's his only heir. Dost thou affect her, Claudio? That lik'd, but had a rougher task in hand D. Pedro. [Interrupting] Thou wilt be like a lover presently, And tire the hearer with a book of words. 310 [Enter BORACHIO, who hides and listens. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it; And I will break with her and with her father, And thou shalt have her. Was 't not to this end That thou began'st to twist so fine a story? Claud. How sweetly do you minister to love, That know love's grief by his complexion! But lest my liking might too sudden seem, I would have salv'd' it with a longer treatise.8 D. Pedro. What need the bridge much broader than the flood? The fairest grant is the necessity. Look, what will serve is fit: 't is once, thou lovest; 320 Leon. No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it. [Erit Antonio.-Antonio's son, with some Musicians, crosses the stage.-To Antonio's son] Cousin, you know what you have to do.-[To the leader of the Musicians] O, I cry you mercy,5 friend; go you with me, and I will use your skill.Good cousin, have a care this busy time. 29 |