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his ancle, 24, Jack Boltsprit, in going down stairs, reddere urinam, caught a severe cold, which lasted three days and a half. The whole town was in commotion before I was aware of the matter. The common cant was, "that no man qualified to conduct the polite education, of youth would be so scandalously inattentive to the health and morals of his pupils, as to have a ragged carpet in his house, or want a water closet." My friend came to me in a great bustle, and told me, he had got the matter settled; advising me at the same time to pay all attention to the convenience of the boys, for if they kept healthy, and behaved politely, it was of no conse. quence whether they spoke Greek and Latin or not.

Hardly was the old carpet discarded, and the water closet erected, when a new difficulty occurred.Dick Addlepate and Anthony Numskull fell into a dispute about precedence, and each insisted that he had the best right to enter my house first; and so far did they carry the matter, as to roll one another in the kennel. The ladies screamed and fainted, and the town's officers were called to part the fray, as the young gentlemen were high spirited, and had noble blood in their veins, no unofficial man durst meddle with them, for fear of after consequences. On the first alarm I went to the mayor, and requested the magistrates would in their great wisdom fall upon some method to settle this matter of etiquette betwixt the two gentlemen, which might otherwise end in a duel. The magistrates, after deliberating a whole day, came to the following resolution: The magistrates find the rank of the disputants in all points equal, and can therefore found no precedency on that head. Decern the disputants to march a-breast of each other into Mr M'Dominie's house each day,if the door is wide enough to admit both at once; and if not, ordain

Mr M'Dominie to widen his door on purpose for their reception." Fortunately my door was wide enough, and needed no alteration. I was very sensible of the justice and equity of this decision, as it determined the matter so satisfactorily, that the young gentlemen might enter with or without precedence as the humour might take them.

These, and a few other incidents equally important, were the only difficulties I had to encounter, for, on the score of education, both parents and children were easily satisfied. My business was to explain the tasks, and write out the exercises prescribed; while the young gentlemen were busy making wry faces behind my back, or twisting papers into the curls of my wig. But it was to keep them idle that their parents paid me so liberally; and every gentleman who has children, or cash, has a right to educate the one, and expend the other, exactly as he pleases. Men are solely led by appearances, and it is a fact, that the boys, who have the least capacity to learn, are by far most expert at the showy accomplishments. One pupil of mine who had not capacity even to learn the multiplication table, understood the whole round of etiquette so well, that he actually opened and conducted a ball at the age of twelve, to the universal satisfaction of a polite and numerous assembly. The Earl of came up to his mother, and thus addressed her: "Egad, madam, you have the cleverest boy in Europe."

Not to be too tedious, Mr Editor, I remained ten years in this situation, and actually saved L.3,000. Had I acted the part of an honest man, I could not have saved 3d.; and what is still more extraordinary, had it been known that I was really a poor destitute animal, I am morally certain I could not have procured a single pupil. Such is the penetration and generosity

generosity of mankind. With this competence I have retired to my na tive spot, where I intend to spend the residue of my days. I have had more experience in education than generally falls to the lot of any individual. The result of my whole ex. perience is, that no person has more ignorant children, than the man who is at most fuss and expence about their education. That an honest man may be the noblest work of God, but totally unfit to act any useful part in this world, at least for himself; and I have certainly great cause to bless the day I was turned adrift from the burgh of

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as it made me acquainted with the world, and enabled me to make my fortune.

I have, during my leisure hours, digested a plan of polite education exclusively suited to the higher ranks, as a mark of gratitude for former favours, by which I hope to be rendered ten times more immortal than Dr Jenner, who has done much to improve their looks, by eradicating the small pox, but whose merits and exertions are but like 66 a drop in the bucket," when compared to mine. In fact, it is my intention to begin my system of education, even previous to the birth of the pupil, by administring such potions to both the parents, and particularly to the mother during her state of preg nancy, as cannot fail to instill such propensities and ideas into the foetus while in its embryo state, as will totally supersede the necessity of all education whatever posterior to the birth.

The nostrums I intend chiefly to make use of, are a decoction of English grammar-Elixir of young gentlemen and ladies geography-Quintes sence of dancing-Compound tincture of politeness, &c. &c. But as I expect not only to receive a national reward for this rare discovery, but Iso to be knighted, you will ex

cuse me for not being more explicit at present.

As to the lower ranks of mankind, I would propose not to admit them to a participation of the above divine discovery, but would manage their education much in the same style as formerly, only I would recommend a little more attention to the classics. They are the people who must do the drudgery of life, and it is neces sary they should be qualified for the important task. I appeal to your self and the nation at large, what would be the consequence, if a gen. tleman could not occasionally get one of his domestics or dependents to decypher an old Latin charter, or explain the motto of his coat of

arms,

THOUGHTS on two IMPORTANT QUES

TIONS.-1. Which is the most miserable? and 2. Which the happiest animal in the Creation?

By Sir JOHN SINCLAIR.

1. The miserable Animal.

OF all

F all animals, there is none that leads a life so utterly useless and contemptible, as the common cottage cock.

Though of the feathered tribe, yet he is unable to fly to any distance, and far less, like the eagle, to soar aloft into the air; nor can he, like others of the same species, dive into another element, but, unhappy wretch, he is chained like a kind of fixture to the earth.

The food he lives on is the most nauseous that can be conceived, principally consisting of the most odious insects, or of grain or seeds picked out from the excrements of other domesticated animals. Even this food could not be digested, (owing to the natural defects in the forma

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tion of this most contemptible creature,) if it were not that instinct pointed out the necessity of taking, with its food, gravel or small stones, to assist in the process of digestion.

In a wild state, the cock wanders about wherever his fancy leads him. At night he roosts on lofty trees, and enjoys, both by day and by night, all the invigorating influences of a pure atmosphere. In its domesticated state, what a change! He is confined unpitied to one miserable spot. If tempted to stray out into a-field, where some ripening grain is to be found, he is driven from it by violence; and at night he is forced into a cold comfortless hovel, where his peace is disturbed by the cries of helpless children, or the clamours of a scolding housewife.

If any thing could alleviate the distresses of such a scene of misery, it would be the comfort of having a chearful companion. But of all beings, the dunghill hen is the most. stupid. Unless when roused to tem. porary exertion, for the protection of its helpless offspring, it is at other times perfectly callous, receives with a cold indifference the caresses of its male associate, and hardly seems possesed of any feeling or animation whatever.

Perhaps it is impossible to witness a more disgusting spectacle than to see the common cottage cock, attended by his stupid companions, wandering over a nauseous dunghill, and regaling himself with its contents, Not satisfied with scraping the surface, and searching, as far as his, strength will permit, the centre of this mass of corruption, he mounts to the top, and loudly proclaims his exultation, glorying in what he ought to consider his shame, and trumpeting forth his own infamy and disgrace.

Such a life, fortunately for the wretched being doomed to spend it, is of short duration. Sometimes he

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At his first bursting from the shell, he is a perfect creature, and partakes in a superior degree all the usual pleasures of early life, without much dependence on the aid of others. He is not, like the helpless infant, for many weary months and seasons,

"Muling and puking in his nurse's arms.”

On the contrary, he at once participates all the comforts of an active state of existence.

All animals must for some time remain under the guardianship of their parents.

The little chicken

enjoys this useful protection with peculiar advantage. During the day the parent hen guards her offspring with anxious care, and with a fierceness hardly to be paralelled; and at night they repose in safety and comfort, under the shelter of her wings.

In the case of man, no sooner does the infant exhibit the appearance of reason, than he is immediately subjected to all the horrors of the severest discipline; to learn some unwholesome and laborious trade, or to acquire the knowledge of some ancient or modern language, from which he may not afterwards derive any solid advantage. How different is the fate of the young cock, who learns all that is necessary for his comfort, without stripes, confinement, or trouble.

As soon as this fortunate animal reaches maturity, every rival is re

moved, and a number of choice fe males, distinguished for their shape, their beauty, and their plumage, are selected for his companions. With them he enjoys all the pleasures of connubial society. No competitor dares to interfere, nor does any mean jealousy, nor any anxiety about finer dress, more splendid apartments, or a gayer equipage, disturb the happiness of the little community.

When the cock, in the morning, struts into the field or garden, at the head of his little troop, with what grace and dignity does he not appear. If he is fortunate enough to discover any unexpected store of food, with what gallantry does he not call upon his female friends to partake of the repast, before he venture himself to touch it. Of food he has always a sufficiency, procured either by means of his own industry, or the generosity of his cottage friends, who contract a partiality for him, and are anxious to relieve his wants.

Owing to the purity of the air he breathes, the wholesomeness of the food he lives on, and the judicious system he pursues in regard to exercise, together with his exemption from care and severe labour, no animal can possibly enjoy better health. He never has any occasion for the drugs of the apothecary, or the prescriptions of the physician: no feverish heat ever circulates in his veins, nor does the gout, the stone, or the gravel, ever shorten his days, or embitter their enjoyment.

When night approaches, satisfied with the pleasures of the day, he retires to rest with his companions, in a place chosen for that special purpose, and where there is no danger of his slumbers being interrupted by any fierce, or any insidious enemy. His repose is never disturbed by the dreams of avarice, or the torments of envy, or of ambition; and after enjoying the pleasures of sound repose for some hours, he awakes with the

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morning dawn, and promulgates the glad return of another day to his kind protectors.

If we compare his life to that of other domesticated animals, what a contrast in his favour! He is not compelled to labour like the horse, nor pampered up for slaughter like the steer, nor like the sheep, annually deprived of his own covering, for the purpose of cloathing others: and if his lot is to be compared with the human race, even when they reach maturity, and all the labours of edu cation are over, what a contrast between a being who has hardly a miserable moment, and one whose whole existence is a continued scene of labour, care, passion, and perplexity!

After enjoying for several years this life of personal comfort and so. cial pleasure, the hour of dissolution at last approaches. No painful struggle of prolonged torture embit ters his latter days: he perishes at once, without any anticipation of his approaching fate; nor are his last remains exposed to the idle curiosity of a thoughtless multitude, nor dishonoured by the miserable peagantry of a public interment at the expence of an exhausted country.

Hence it appears, that no life is, on the whole, so desireable as that of a domesticated cottage cock.

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the hand of a person lately come from Europe." Of the causes of this phenomenon he confesses his igno. rance, and solicits an explanation of it from some of your correspondents. A careful observance of natural appearances, and an unsophisticated detail of what actually occurs, are the genuine sources of sound information. But to render such facts more extensively useful, by enabling us to explain their causes, it is not enough merely to mention the object of our curiosity, it is necessary, at the same time, to relate those collateral circumstances with which it is connected, and which frequently in a great measure modify its appearance. Such auxiliaries are highly necessary in every department of natural knowledge, but more especially so, when we attempt to explore the complicated and interesting phenomena of organic life. Thus, in the present case it would be desirable to know the relative temperament and habits of the. natives and strangers in Curacoa, the dress and modes of living, and whether this diversity of temperature be extended to the lower animals.However, to meet the views of your querist, I shall, as far as I am able, and the data which he has furnished me with support, venture on a pro tempore solution of the object of his wonder.

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The structure and natural cover ing of the inferior animals appear wisely adapted to the climate in which they are destined to live; and in no instance do we observe this arrangement more striking, than in what respects the production and evolution of heat. The quadrupeds of tropical climates have a short, loose hair, upon their bodies. The birds possess a richly-coloured plumage, but are comparatively but thinly covered. The skin of the human species in these latitudes is soft, loose, and porous, and the individuals clothe themselves lightly. This economy Nov. 1806.

eminently disposes to the free est cape of caloric from the system as fast as it is génerated.

In colder climates, a different arrangement occurs. Both quadrupeds and birds, although less beautiful in their colours, are provided with richer furs and finer down; and in the human species the skin, unless carefully protected, is more dense and rigid, and the quantity of artifi cial covering is in general very consi derable. These coverings, in both cases, are bad conductors of heat, and tend to accumulate and retain it about the body.

In the human species, and indeed in the whole tribe of mammalia, the medium temperature of the body, in every climate, is about 97° of Farenheit.

But in birds, at least those who fly much, it is seldom under 100°; and the exertions of the animal, and the nature of the covering, maintain this temperature uniform and steady; nor can there exist, for any length of time, a remarkable deviation from it, without the production of disease.

Let us now apply these facts to the explanation of the present phenomenon. A person arriving in the West Indies direct from Europe becomes suddenly and perpetually subjected to the influence of a temperature greatly above what he had before been accustomed to experience.Heat is a powerful and general stimulus to animal bodies. The circulation is therefore preternaturally ac celerated, respiration is performed more frequently, and the generation of heat is augmented. But the system cannot immediately accommodate itself to this change, and all at once obviate its bad effects. The rigidity of fibre, and comparative greater density of the integuments, continue for a considerable time, and the heat produced accumulates in the system, and is but slowly carried off. It is easy to conceive, that the

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