PERSON OF JULIUS CÆSAR.

Ambrose Philips was a neat dresser, and very vain. In a conversation between him, Congreve, Swift, and others, the discourse ran a good while on Julius Cæsar. After many things had been said to the purpose, Ambrose asked what sort of a person they supposed Julius Caesar was? He was answered, that from medals, &c., it appeared that he was a small man, and thin-faced. "Now, for my part," said Ambrose, "I should take him to have been of a lean make, pale complexion, extremely neat in his dress; and five feet seven. inches high" an exact description of Philips himself. Swift, who understood good breeding perfectly well, and would not interrupt anybody while speaking, let him go on, and when he had quite done, said: "And I, Mr. Philips, should take him to have been a plump man, just five feet five inches high; not very neatly dressed, in a black gown with puddingsleeves."-Dr. Young, in Spence's Anecdotes.

THE DEAN OUTWITTED.

Lord Carteret was distinguished by a readiness of wit, with which he could retort and parry even the attacks of Swift. Of this we have already seen a classical instance at p. 49. And it is said, that, about the time when the proclamation was abroad against the Drapier's fourth letter, the Dean visited the castle, and having waited for some time without seeing the lord-lieutenant, wrote upon one of the windows of the chamber of audience these lines:

46 My very good lord, 'tis a very hard task,

For a man to wait here who has nothing to ask."

Under which Carteret wrote the following happy reply:"My very good Dean, there are few who come here, But have something to ask, or something to fear.'

On some such occasion, when Carteret had parried, with his usual dexterity, a complaint or request of Swift, he exclaimed, "What, in God's name, do you do here? Get back to your own country, and send us our boobies again!"

The following additional instances are related of the Dean being overmatched.

Swilt, Arbuthnot, and Parnell, taking advantage of a fine frosty morning, set out together to walk to a seat Lord

Bathurst had about eleven miles from London. Swift, remarkable for being an old traveller, and for getting possession of the best room and bed, pretended, when they were about half way on their journey, that he did not like the slowness of their pace; adding that he would walk on before them, and acquaint Lord Bathurst with the object of their journey. To this proposal they readily agreed; but as soon as the Dean was out of sight, they dispatched a horseman by a private road, (suspecting their friend's duplicity,) to inform his Lordship of their apprehensions. The man arrived in time to deliver his message before Swift made his appearance. Lord Bathurst then recollecting that the Dean had never had the smallpox, thought of the following stratagem. Seeing him come up the avenue, his Lordship met him, and expressed his happiness at seeing him; “but I am mortified at one circumstance," continued Lord Bathurst, "as it must deprive me of the pleasure of your company: smallpox is raging in the house. I beg, however, that you will accept of such accommodation as a small house at the bottom of the avenue will afford you." Swift was forced to comply with this request; and in this solitary situation, fearful of speaking to any person about him, he was served with dinner. In the evening, however, Arbuthnot and Parnell, with Lord Bathurst, went down to release him, by informing him of the deception, and telling him that the best room and bed in the house were at his service. Swift felt much chagrined, but deemed it prudent to join in the laugh against himself; they all adjourned to the mansion, and there spent the evening most joyously.

At an inn, seeing a cook scraping a piece of mutton, Swift asked how many maggots she had got in it? "Not so many as are in your head," answered the wench smartly. The Dean was angry, and complained to her mistress.

Alderman Brown having undergone Swift's raillery in silence, for some time, at dinner, suddenly looked up from his plate, on observing Swift take apple-sauce to the wing of a duck, and exclaimed, “Mr. Dean, you eat your duck like a goose."

The Dean asked Kenny, a Carmelite priest, "Why the Catholic Church used pictures and images, when the Church of England did not ?" Because," answered the priest readily," we are old housekeepers, and you are new beginners." Swift was so surprised and incensed that he left the room.

THE DEAN AND THE SURGEON.

During his residence at Cavan, Swift was tormented with an ulcerous shin, when he sent for a surgeon belonging to the barracks, to dress his wound. The young man entered with fear and trembling, for all men stood in awe of the Dean. "Look ye, sir," said Swift, raising his leg from the stool on which it was extended, "my shin is very badly hurt; I have sent for you, and if you can cure it, by

I'll advertise you. Here's five guineas for you, and you need look for no more; so cure me as fast as you can." The surgeon succeeded; and the Dean, who liked both his skill and his modesty, was kind to him, often asked him to dinner, and when the cure was completed, made him a compliment of five guineas more. In a letter to Mrs. Whiteway he says, the shin cost him but three guineas; the rest he probably set down to benevolence.

THE DEAN'S PARSIMONY.

Pope relates: "Dr. Swift has an odd blunt way, that is mistaken by strangers for ill-nature. 'Tis so odd that there's no describing it but by facts. I'll tell you one that just comes into my head. One evening Gay and I went to see him: you know how intimately we were all acquainted. On our coming in; 'Heyday, gentlemen,' says the Doctor, 'what's the meaning of this visit? How come you to leave all the great lords, that you are so fond of, to come hither to see a poor Dean ?'-' Because we had rather see you than any of them.'-'Ay, any one that did not know you as well as I do, might believe you. But since you are come, I must get some supper for you, I suppose ?'-No, Doctor, we have supped already.'-Supped already! that's impossible: why, 'tis not eight o'clock yet.'—' Indeed we have.'-' That's very strange: but if you had not supped, I must have got something for you. Let me see, what should I have had? a couple of Lobsters? and that would have done very well, two shillings: tarts, a shilling. But you will drink a glass of wine with me, though you supped so much before your usual time, only to spare my pocket ?'-'No, we had rather talk with you, than drink with you.'-' But if you had supped with me, as in all reason you ought to have done, you must have drunk

with me. A bottle of wine, two shillings. Two and two are four, and one is five; just two and sixpence a-piece. There, Pope, there's half-a-crown for you; and there's another for you, sir; for I won't save anything by you I am determined.' This was all said and done with his usual seriousness on such occasions; and in spite of everything we could say to the contrary, he actually obliged me to take the money."Spence's Anecdotes.

Delany informs us, in like manner, that when Lady Eustace, or other women of rank, dined at the Deanery, Swift allowed them a shilling a-head to provide their own entertainment; and used to struggle hard that only sixpence should be allowed for the brat, as he called Miss Eustace, afterwards Mrs. Tickell. When he dined with his poorer friends, he insisted upon paying his club, as at a tavern.

BENEFICIAL HOAX.

The execution of one Elliston, a noted street-robber, gave Swift an opportunity of practising a stratagem, which put an end, for many years, to the practice of street robbery; for, being received as genuine by the companions of the sufferer, they really believed, as there asserted, that he had left a list of their names to be proceeded against, if they did not relinquish their evil courses. The piece is as follows:

"Now, as I am a dying man," Elliston is made to say, "I have done something which may be of good use to the public. I have left with an honest man (and indeed the only honest man I was ever acquainted with) the names of all my wicked brethren, the principal places of their abode, with a short account of the chief crimes they have committed; in many of which I have been their accomplice, and heard the rest from their own mouths: I have likewise set down the names of those we call our setters of the wicked houses we frequent, and all of those who receive and buy our stolen goods. I have solemnly charged this honest man, and have received his promise upon oath, that whenever he hears of any rogue to be tried for robbery or housebreaking, he will look into his list, and if he finds the name there of the thief concerned, to send the whole paper to the Government. Of this I here give my companions fair and public warning, and hope they will take it."

SWIFT'S BONHOMMIE.

Captain Hamilton, of Castle-Hamilton, a plain country gentleman, but of excellent natural sense, came upon a visit at Market-Hill, while the Dean was staying there. "Sir Arthur Acheson, hearing of his friend's arrival, ran out to receive

him at the door, followed by Swift. The captain, who did not see the Dean, as it was in the dusk of the evening, in his blunt way upon entering the house, exclaimed, that he was very sorry he was so unfortunate as to choose that time for his visit. Why so?'-' Because I hear Dean Swift is with you. He is a great scholar, a wit; a plain country squire will have but a bad time of it in his company, and I don't like to be laughed at.' Swift then stepped to the captain, from behind Sir Arthur, where he had stood, and said to him, 'Pray, Captain Hamilton, do you know how to say yes, or no, properly?—Yes, I think I have understanding enough for that. Then give me your hand,-depend upon it, you and I will agree very well.' The captain told Mr. Sheridan he never passed two months so pleasantly in his life, nor had ever met with so agreeable a companion as Swift proved to be during the whole time."

INGRATITUDE TO SWIFT.

The Dean now experienced the height of unpopularity. All who had favoured the high-church interest were involved in a sweeping charge of Jacobitism, of which calumny Swift had his share. Libels on libels were showered against him; the rabble insulted him as he walked the street; and even young men of rank forgot his station and their own so far as to set the same example of wanton brutality. Nor was this the worst evil of his situation. His former friends, including many who owed him civility and gratitude, paid court to the opposite party, by treating him with rudeness and insult. He was obliged to secure his papers against the searches of government; and a packet addressed to him by the Duke of Ormond's chaplain was seized by a messenger.

Among the Dean's false friends Sir Thomas Southwell, one of the commissioners of the revenue, often mentioned as a friend in Swift's Letters and Journal, distinguished himself, by answering Swift, when he had addressed him on some ordinary occasion of business, "I'll hold you a groat, Mr. Dean, I do not know you." Afterwards, when created Lord Southwell, he expressed regret for his conduct during the heat of party, and attempted to regain Swift's acquaintance, by saluting him with great politeness. But the Dean retorted his rudeness, prefaced by his own cant phrase, "I'll hold you a groat, my lord, I do not know you."