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Re-enter Anne Page.
Shal. Here conies fair mistress Anne :-Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne!
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father de sires your worships' company.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne.
[Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Anne. Will’t please your worship to conie in, sir?
Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsonth : Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come.
Slen. I'faith, I'll cat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.
Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys* for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i’ the town?
Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England :-you are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
* Three set-to's, bouts, or hits.
Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson* loose, twenty times; and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass’dt:- but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
Page. Come, gentle master Slender, conie; we stay for you.
Slen. I'll eat nothing ; I thank you, sir.
Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir: come, come.
Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way.
Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will not do you that wrong. Anne. I
pray you, sir. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. [Exeunt.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.
Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his purse,
• The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden, in Southwark.
† Surpassed all expression.
or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
Simp. Well, sir.
Eva. Nay, it is petter yet :- -give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to de. sire and require her to solicit your master's desires to inistress Anne Page : I pray you, be gone; I will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins and cheese to come.
A room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and
Fal. Mine host of the Garter,
Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely.
Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host. Thou’rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap : said I well, bully Hector?
Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
[Erit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster: go; adieu.
Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
Pist. O base Gongarian* wight! wilt thou the
spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink : is not the humour conceited ? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it.
Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open : his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest.
Pist. Convey, the wise it call : steal! foh; a ficot for the phrase!
Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I must shift.
Pist. Young ravens must have food.
Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
Pist. Two yards, and more.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she dis. courses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English.
Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?
Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angelst.
Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her boy,
Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. • For Hungarian, + Fig.
Fal. I have writ me bere a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads : sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Pist. They did the sun on dung-hill shine.
Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass ! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater* to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress lord: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Pist. Shall I Sır Pa darus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all !
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, (to Rob.) bear you these letters
tightlyt; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go ; Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack! Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
[Ereunt Falstaff and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts ! for gourd and
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.
• Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
I False dice.