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Pist. Wilt thou revenge?
By welkin, and her star!
With both the humours, I;
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defle.
Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense* Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellownesst, for the revolt of mien is dangerous : that is my true humour.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I second thee; troop on.
A room in Dr. Caius's house.
Enter Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby. Quick. What; John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming : if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch.
[Euit Rugby. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no telltale, nor no breed-batet: bis worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevishộ that
way: but nobody but has his fault;- but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ?
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife?
Sim. No, forsooth : he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard ; a Cain-coloured beard.
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall. a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrevert. Quick. How say you?-O, I should remember
does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut in his gait?
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
Quiek. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish
Quick. We shall all be shentt: run in here, good young man; go into this closet. (Shuts Simple in the closet.] He will not stay long.- What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home:-and down, down, adown-u, &c.
[Sings. Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier ucrd ; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
* Brave. + The keeper of a warren.
Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. [Aside.
Caius. Fe, fe fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la cour, la grand affaire.
Quick. Is it this, sir?
Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; depeche, quickly:-Vere is dat knave Rugby?
Quick. What, Johu Rugby! John !
Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.
Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad.
Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in iny closet? Villany! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier.
Quick. Good master, be content.
Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatick; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh.
Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page, for my master, in the way of marriage.
Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you ?-Rugby, baillez me some paper :- Tarry you a little-a while. (writes.
Quick. I am glad he is so quiet : if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy;- but notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,--I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself;
Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand.
Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early, and down late ;but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it); my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that,
I know Anne's mind,- that's neither here por there.
Caius. You jack'pape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-pape priest to meddle or make:-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog.
(Erit Simple. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius. It is no matter-a for dat: do not you tell.a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?- by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon :-by gar, I vill myself have Ande Page.
Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the good-jer*!
Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me ;-by
• The goujere, what the pox!
gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door:- Follow my heels, Rugby.
(Eseunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho?
Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
Fen. How now, good woman; how dost thou ?
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Aune?
Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell
you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?
Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you :-Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;-good faith, it is such another Nan:—but, I detest*, an honest maid as ever broke bread: We had an hour's talk of that wart;-I shall never laugh but in that maid's company.-But, indeed, she is given too much to allichollyt and musing: but for you-Well, go to.
Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day: hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me
Quick. Will I? i'faith, that we will: and I will
* She means, I protest.