those of high moral calibre; but as other laws are made for the majority, so are those of social convention, especially for those who are prone to transgress. Under the head of such forms come the rules of chaperonage, and most important it is that all young men and women should observe the formalities ordained, in their intercourse with each other, no matter how well-fitted they may be in particular instances to take care of themselves. One is compelled sometimes to make personal sacrifices for the good of the many. Of course very few of the rules of good form are absolute and unchangeable, and they must be more or less regulated by the standards of the people one lives with, and the requirements of the place in which one resides. The old riddle asks, "What is the keynote to good manners ?" The answer, "B natural." Natural manners are always the most charming, provided that one is well bred, otherwise the selfrevelation is unpleasant. The "fashionable" manner of to-day is simple, cordial, and free from all affectation. Good manners inspired by good principles, prompted by good fellowship, polished by good form, will fit one for good society anywhere. THE BOOK OF GOOD MANNERS Chapter First-INTRODUCTIONS HE English have imported and domesticated the saying that "the roof is an introduction." All persons meeting at the same house are tacitly supposed to be on the same social plane and not averse to acquaintance, and in France the formality of a presentation among members of the same society is considered entirely superfluous. People are introduced to one another, but this does not remove barriers that are regarded as already suppressed. With us all well-bred persons recognize the propriety of making themselves agreeable to each. other in a friend's drawing-room, whether Presentapreviously acquainted or not. A few tions unof our society leaders never introduce necessary chance visitors, who converse as a matter of course. It goes without saying that the person addressed is both gracious and responsive to the one taking the initiative. Introductions, however, make intercourse easier, and there is less awkwardness when one knows to whom one is speaking, the knowledge often suggesting subjects for conversation of mutual interest. The rules governing presentations should be well defined, since divergent views may prove sources of misunderstanding. It may be laid down as a general principle that a lady in her own house may introduce all her The guests without previously asking their privilege of permission. It need not involve further acquaintance unless one choose, - all are not blessed with a good memory for faces, - but at the house of another, or upon neutral At a ground, she must consult their wishes. a hostess Presentations at Presenta dinner, when the guests assemble, the hostess introduces the gentlemen to the dinner ladies whom they are to take in, and as many others as she pleases, but the old-fashioned custom of wholesale presentation is no longer followed. Introductions are not expected tions at at large receptions, except to those for receptions whom the entertainment may be given, or to some distinguished guest whom all are presumably anxious to meet, though a stranger should be commended to the charge of some one. Upon less formal occasions visitors should be presented when it can be done without obvious effort. not strictly good form to introduce a guest upon his entrance into a room to more than one other at a time. It is It is a mistake to interrupt a conversation that is apparently agreeable in order to make an introduction. 12 At a private dance, or "house dance," as it is the fashion to call it, where the pleasure depends upon knowing many persons, it is a Introduckindness to make all necessary presen- tions at tations to insure it. dances The hostess may be quite unhampered by the restrictions felt by others, the proper censorship having been exercised when extending the invitations. Her guests however cannot claim the same freedom. At a ball the patronesses may allow themselves a certain latitude, but the permission of a lady must always be asked, where a man de- Ball-room sires her acquaintance, and that of the introducparent or chaperon for presentation to a young girl. Indiscriminate introduction must be carefully avoided. tions We may properly excuse ourselves from compliance with requests for presentations by saying that we hardly know the person well enough for we never know any one so well as to take a liberty. Chaperons often ask young men if they may present them to their charges, especially those ladies who have laid them under obligations elsewhere. Ball-room introductions are understood to impose a certain amount of attention on the part of the gentlemen, to dance with the lady if possible, or show other courteous interest in furthering her enjoyment. One hears many complaints of the remissness on the part of young men in this regard. There are comparatively so few ways in which they can return the favors they receive, that one marvels that their self-respect should not be on the alert to improve every opportunity. The best-bred young men request introductions, that they may make themselves useful to their hostess. parties Informal introductions are always At house- made between persons composing a house party as soon as convenient. Undiscriminating introducers are generally unpopular. If the acquaintance is not desired on the one side and finds itself unwelcome on responsi- the other, the too generous source of bility the annoyance is blamed by both. Special carefulness should be exercised about presenting persons who come from the same place. The incurred One may always introduce the member of one's own family without asking permission, since none could refuse without offence. The introducer must remember that he or she is responsible for the persons presented, and refrain from forcing upon any one an unwelcome acquaintance, through an easy-going indifference that passes for amiability. To drop an unwelcome The best way to be rid of an embaracquaint- rassing acquaintanceship is to strangle ance it in its birth. A perfunctory politeness is of course exacted at the meeting, but afterwards an unseeing, preoccupied glance that does |
