Mrs. Pege. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none should lead. issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it?

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but, you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil be shamed. What! wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching.

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John. Unless you go out dis-are not to go loose any longer; you must be guised,

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the Ford. So say I too, Sir.-Come hither, mistress Brentford, has a gown above.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

wife's clothes? Come away.

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your

Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why,-

Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness,2 is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had in-basket: Why may not he be there again? In my one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this telligence. house I am sure he is my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable: Pluck me out all the

Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master licly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no Ford; this wrongs you. period to the jest, should he not be publicly

Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not shamed. follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.

Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.—A room in the Garter Inn. Enter
Host and Bardolph.

Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport: let Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that search'd your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at a hollow walnut for his wife's leman. Satisfy me court, and they are going to meet him. once more; once more search with me. Host. What duke should that be, comes so se. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come cretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me you, and the old woman down; my husband will speak with the gentlemen; they speak English? come into the chamber. Bard. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you. Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make Mrs. Ford. Why, it's my maid's aunt of Brent- them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my house ford. a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come.

Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that?

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing.--Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down, I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman.

Enter Falstaff in women's clothes, led by Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me your hand.

Ford. I'll prat her:-Out of my door, you witch! [beats him.] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon!2 out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Eart Falstaff. Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it:-'Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muller.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail,3 never trust me when I open again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further; Come, gentlemen. (Ex. Page, Ford, Shal. and Eva. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought.

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A room in Ford's House. Enter
Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Sir
Hugh Evans.

Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon."

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

I

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what
thou wilt;

rather will suspect the sun with cold,
Than thee with wantonness: now aoth thy honour
stand,
In him that was of late a heretic,
As firm as faith.
Page.

'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as éxtreme in submission,
As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
Ford. There is no better way than that they
spoke of.

Page. How! to send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll never come. Eva. You say he has been thrown in the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman; methinks, there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when
he comes,

And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne
the hunter,

Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee- Doth all the winter time, at still midnight, simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns; think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle; Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a have served him?

chain

know,

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to In a most hideous and dreadful manner. scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If You have heard of such a spirit; and well you they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will The superstitious idle-headed eld still be the ministers." Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age, This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him pub(3) Scent,

(1) Lover,

(2) Scab,

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak;

But what of this?

Mrs. Ford.

Marry, this is our device;

quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, Disguis'd like Herne, with huge horns on his head. his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come, about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: And in this shape: When you have brought him Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropo thither, phaginians unto thee: Knock, I say. What shall be done with him? what is your plot?| Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought up-up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as to stay, sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

on, and thus:

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes,' and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffused2 song; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly :
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape profane.

Mrs. Ford.

And till he tell the truth,

Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,3
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page.
The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Ford.

The children must
Be practised we to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours;
and I will be like a jack-an-napes also, to burn the
knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. And marry her at Eton.--Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook: He'll tell me all his purpose: sure he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us properties,4

And tricking for our fairies.

Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans.
Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Send quickly to sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit Mrs. Ford.

I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave
her.

[Exit.

SCENE V.-A room in the Garter Inn. Enter
Host and Simple.

Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what,
(1) Elfs, hobgoblins. (2) Wild, discordant.
(8) Soundly. (4) Necessaries (5) Cannibal,

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be rob bed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [Above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend: my chambers are honourable: Fie! privacy? fie!

Enter Falstaff.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

· Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Sim. What, sir?

Fal. To have her,-or no: Go; say, the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir?
Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold?

Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my
master glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple.
Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir
John: Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

:

Enter Fenton and Host.

as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter Inn. behind one of them, in a slagh of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest

men.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

is

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind heavy, I will give over all.

Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my

purpose,

And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee

A hundred pounds in gold, more than your loss. Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Eva. Where is mine host? Host. What is the matter, sir? Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there Who, mutually, hath answered my affection is three cousin Germans, that has cozened all the (So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, Even to my wish: I have a letter from her of horses and money. I tell you for a good-will, of such contents as you will wonder at; look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should That neither, singly, can be manifested, be cozened: Fare you well. [Exit. Without the show of both; wherein fat Falstaff Hath a great scene; the image of the jest [Showing the letter. I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host: To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre? Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen; Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a The purpose why, is here;2 in which disguise, me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de While other jests are something rank on foot, Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de Her father hath commanded her to slip court is know to come; I tell you for good vill:Away with Slender, and with him at Eton adieu. [Exit. Immediately to marry: she hath consented: Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, Now, sir, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, vil- Her mother, even strong against that match, lain! I am undone! [Exeunt Host and Bardolph. And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; That he shall likewise shuffle her away, for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should While other sports are tasking of their minds, come to the ear of the court, how I have been And at the deanery, where a priest attends, transformed, and how my transformation hath been Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it rests. with me; I warrant, they would whip me with Her father means she shall be all in white; their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried And in that habit, when Slender sees his time pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself To take her by the hand, and bid her go, at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long She shall go with him :-her mother hath intended, enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. Quickly.

Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

The better to denote her to the doctor,

(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrob'd,
With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host. Which means she to deceive? father or
mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me:
And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar
And, in the lawful name of marrying,
To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one,
To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the
vicar;

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? was beaten myself into all the colours of the rain-Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. bow, and I was like to be apprehended for the Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt. woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will

ACT V.

Falstaff and Mrs. Quickly.

say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to SCENE I-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. (1) A game at cards,

Fal. Pry'thee, no more prattling;-go.(3) Fantastically,

(2) In the letter,

hold: This is the third time; I hope good luck the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there will at once display to the night.

is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. chance, or death.-Away. Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Fal. Away, I say; time wears; hold up your nead, and mince. [Exit Mrs. Quickly.

Enter Ford.

Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely.

Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their lechery, Those that betray them do no treachery. Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on: To the oak, [Exeunt.

How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the mat-to the oak. ter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you SCENE IV.-Windsor Park. Enter Sir Hugh shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Evaus, and Fairies.

Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into like a poor old man: but I came from her, master the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, pid you: Come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt. Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of Jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed SCENE V-Another part of the Park. Enter phrensy. I will tell you.-He beat me grievously, Falstaff disguised, with a buck's head on.

in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am

in haste, go along with me; I'll tell you all, mas-me!-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy ter Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, Europa; love set on thy horns.-O powerful love! and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford on whom to-night I will swan, for the love of Leda; 0, omnipotent be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your love! how near the god drew to the complexion of hand.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master a goose!-A fault done first in the form of a beast; Brook! follow. -O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a

low, and Slender.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II-Windsor Park. Enter Page, Shal-foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest: send me a Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-Remem-my tallow! Who comes here? my doc? ber, son Slender, my daughter.

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and ery, mum; she cries, budget; and by that we know one another.

Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal. My doe, with the black scut?-Let the sky Shal. That's good too: But what needs either rain potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of Green your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher Sleeves, hail kissing comtits, and snow eringoes; her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock. let there come a tempest of provocation, I will Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will shelter me here. [Embracing her. become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, man means evil but the devil, and we shall know sweetheart. him by his horns. Let's away; follow me.

SCENE III-The Street in Windsor.

Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, cacha haunch: [Exeunt. I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your Enter husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter?-Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within.

Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Dr. Caius. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise?
Mrs. Ford, Heaven forgive our sins!
Fal. What should this be?
Mrs. Ford.
Mrs. Page.

Away, away.

[They run off.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.] Fal. I think, the devil will not have me damned, My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he of Falstaff, as he will chate at the doctor's marry-would never else cross me thus. ing my daughter: bat 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at (2) Watch-word.

(1) Keep to the time.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans, like a satyr; Mrs. Quickly
and Pistol; Anne Page, as the Fairy Queen, at
tended by her brother and others, dressed like
fairies, with waxen tapers on their heads.
Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,
(3) Keeper of the forest,