ELBOW, a simple Constable. BARNARDINE, a dissolute Prisoner. Mrs. OVERDONE, a Bawd. Lords, Gentlemen, Guards, and other Attendants. SCENE, Vienna. ACT I. SCENE I.-An Apartment in the DUKE's Palace. Enter DUKE, ESCALUS, Lords, and Attendants. Duke. Escalus, Escal. My lord. Duke. Of government the properties to unfold, My strength can give you: Then no more remains For common justice, you are as pregnant in, From which we would not have you warp.-Call hither, [Exit an Attendant. Lent him our terror, dress'd him with our love; Duke. Enter ANGELO. Look, where he comes. Ang. Always obedient to your grace's will, I come to know your pleasure. Duke. Angelo, There is a kind of character in thy life, Not light them for themselves: for if our virtues As if we had them not. Spirits are not finely touch'd But to fine issues: nor nature never lends Both thanks and use. But I do hend my speech E To one that can my part in him advertise; In our remove, be thou at full ourself; Live in thy tongue and heart: Old Escalus, Ang. Now, good my lord, Let there be some more test made of my metal, Duke. No more evasion. We have with a leaven'd and prepared choice Ang. Yet, give leave, my lord, Nor need you, on mine honour, have to do As to your soul seems good. Give me your hand; But do not like to stage me to their eyes; That does affect it. Once more, fare you well. A power I have, but of what strength and nature Lucio. Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that went to sea with the ten commandments, but scraped one out of the table. 2 Gent. Thou shalt not steal? Lucio. Ay, that he razed. 1 Gent. Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest from their functions; they put forth to steal: There's not a soldier of us all, that, in the thanksgiving before meat, doth relish the petition well that prays for peace. 2 Gent. I never heard any soldier dislike it. Lucio. I believe thee; for, I think, thou never wast where grace was said. 2 Gent. No? a dozen times at least. 1 Gent. What? in metre? Lucio. In any proportion or in any language. 1 Gent. I think, or in any religion. Lucio. Ay! why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy: As for example; Thou thyself art a wicked villain, despite of all grace. 1 Gent. Well, there went but a pair of sheers between us. Lucio. I grant: as there may between the list and the velvet: Thou art the list. 1 Gent. And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet: thou art a three-pil'd piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief be a list of an English kersey, as be pil'd, as thou art pil'd, for a French velvet. Do I speak feelingly now? Lucio. I think thou dost, and, indeed, with most painful feeling of thy speech; I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I live, forget to drink after thee. 1 Gent. I think I have done myself wrong; have I not? 2 Gent. Yes, that thou hast; whether thou art tainted, or free. Lucio. Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as many diseases under her roof, as come to 2 Gent. To what, I pray? 1 Gent. Judge. 2 Gent. To three thousand dollars a year. 1 Gent. Ay, and more. Lucio. A French crown more. 1 Gent. Thou art always figuring diseases in me; but thou art full of error; I am sound. Lucio. Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound, as things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow; impiety has made a feast of thee. Enter BAWD. 1 Gent. How now? Which of your hips has the most profound sciatica? Band. Well, well; there's one yonder arrested, and carried to prison, was worth five thousand of you all. 1 Gent. Who's that, I pray thee? Band. Marry, sir, that's Claudio, signior Claudio. 1 Gent. Claudio to prison! 'tis not so. Band. Nay, but I know 'tis so; I saw him arrested; saw him carried away; and, which is more, within these three days his head's to be chopped off. Lucio. But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so: Art thou sure of this? Bavd. I am too sure of it: and it is for getting madam Julietta with child. Lucio. Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet me two hours since: and he was ever precise in promise-keeping. 2 Gent. Besides, you know, it draws something near to the speech we had to such a purpose. 1 Gent. But most of all, agreeing with the proclamation. Lucio. Away; let's go learn the truth of it. [Exeunt LUCIO and GENTLEMEN. Bard. Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what with the gallows, and what with poverty, I am custom-shrunk. How now? what's the news with you? Band. But what's his offence? Clo. Groping for trouts in a peculiar river. Band. What, is there a maid with child by him? Clo. No; but there's a woman with maid by him: you have not heard of the proclamation, have you? Band. What proclamation, man? Clo. All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be pluck'd down. Band. And what shall become of those in.the city? Clo. They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too, but that a wise burgher put in for them. Band. But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pull'd down? Clo. To the ground, mistress. Band. Why, here's a change, indeed, in the commonwealth! What shall become of me? Clo. Come; fear not you; good counsellors lack no clients though you change your place, you need not change your trade; I'll be your tapster still. Courage; there will be pity taken on you: you that have worn your eyes out almost in the service, you will be considered. Band. What's to do here, Thomas Tapster? Let's withdraw. Clo. Here comes signior Claudio, led by the provost to prison: and there's madam Juliet. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The same. Enter PROVOST, CLAUDIO, JULIET, and Officers; LUCIO, and two Gentlemen. Claud. Fellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world? Bear me to prison, where I am committed. Claud. Thus can the demi-god, Authority, Lucio. Why, how now, Claudio? whence comes this restraint? Claud. From too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty: As surfeit is the father of much fast, So every scope by the immoderate use A thirsty evil; and when we drink, we die. Claud. What but to speak of would offend again. Claud. No. Lucio. Lechery? Claud. Call it so. Prov. Away, sir; you must go. you. Claud. One word, good friend :-Lucio, a word with [Takes him aside. Lucio. A hundred, if they'll do you any good.-Is lechery so look'd after? Claud. Thus stands it with me:-Upon a true con I got possession of Julietta's bed; You know the lady; she is fast my wife, Save that we do the denunciation lack [tract, Unhappily, even so: A horse whereon the governor doth ride, Or in his eminence that fills it up, I stagger in:-But this new governor Which have, like unscour'd armour, hung by the wall Lucio. I warrant it is; and thy head stands so tickle on thy shoulders, that a milkmaid, if she be in love, may sigh it off. Send after the duke, and appeal to him. Claud. I have done so, but he's not to be found. I pr'ythee, Lucio, do me this kind service: I have great hope in that: for in her youth Lucio. I pray, she may; as well for the encouragement of the like, which else would stand under grievous imposition; as for the enjoying of thy life, who I would be sorry should be thus foolishly lost at a game of ticktack. I'll to her. Claud. I thank you, good friend Lucio. SCENE IV-A Monastery. [Exeunt. Duke. No; holy father; throw away that thought: Isab. Woe me! For what? Believe not that the dribbling dart of love Fri. May your grace speak of it? Duke. My holy sir, none better knows than you (A man of stricture and firm abstinence,) Fri. Gladly, my lord. Duke. We have strict statutes and most biting laws, Becomes more mock'd than fear'd: so our decrees, Fri. Duke. I do fear, too dreadful: Sith 'twas my fault to give the people scope, And not the punishment. Therefore, indeed, my father, I have on Angelo impos'd the office; Who may, in the ambush of my name, strike home, And yet my nature never in the sight, To do it slander. And to behold his sway, I will, as 'twere a brother of your order, Visit both prince and people: therefore, I pr'ythee, Is more to bread than stone: Hence shall we see, SCENE V.-A Nunnery. Enter ISABELLA and FRANCISCA. [Exeunt. Isab. And have you nuns no further privileges? Fran. Are not these large enough? [Within. Isab. Yes, truly: I speak not as desiring more; Then, if you speak, you must not show your face; [Exit FRANCISCA. Isab. Peace and prosperity! Who is't that calls? Enter LUCIO. Lucio. Hail, virgin, if you be, as those cheek-roses Proclaim you are no less! Can you so stead me, As bring me to the sight of Isabella, A novice of this place, and the fair sister To her unhappy brother, Claudio? Isab. Why her unhappy brother? let me ask; The rather, for I now must make you know I am that Isabella, and his sister. Lucio. Gentle and fair, your brother kindly greets you: Not to be weary with you, he's in prison. Isab. Oh let him marry her. Lucio. [names, This is the point. The duke is very strangely gone from hence; Lucio. A warrant for his execution. Isab. Alas! what poor ability's in me To do him good? Lucio. Assay the power you have. Isab. My power! Alas! I doubt,Lucio. Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win, By fearing to attempt: Go to lord Angelo; And let him learn to know, when maidens sue, Men give like gods; but when they weep and kneel, All their petitions are as freely theirs As they themselves would owe them. Isab. I'll see what I can do. Lucio. But speedily. Isab. I will about it straight; Good sir, adieu. [Excunt. (Whom I believe to be most strait in virtue,) Ang. 'Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus, The jury, passing on the prisoner's life, Guiltier than him they try: what's open made to justice, That justice seizes. What know the laws, That thieves do pass on thieves? "Tis very pregnant, For I have had such faults; but rather tell me, Where is the provost? See that Claudio Be executed by nine to-morrow morning: Bring him his confessor; let him be prepar'd; For that's the utmost of his pilgrimage. [Exit PROVOST. Escal. Well, heaven forgive him; and forgive us all! Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall: Some run from brakes of vice, and answer none And some condemned for a fault alone. Enter ELBOW, FROTH, CLOWN, Officers, &c. Elb. Come, bring them away: if these be good people in a common-weal, that do nothing but use their abuses in common-houses, I know no law; bring them away. Ang. How now, sir! What's your name? and what's the matter? Elb. If it please your honour, I am the poor duke's constable, and my name is Elbow; I do lean upon justice, sir, and do bring in here before your good honour two notorious benefactors. Ang. Benefactors? Well; what benefactors are they? are they not malefactors? Elb. If it please your honour, I know not well what they are: but precise villains they are, that I am sure of: and void of all profanation in the world, that good Christians ought to have. Escal. This comes off well; here's a wise officer. Ang. Go to: What quality are they of? Elbow is your name? Why dost thou not speak, Elbow? Clo. He cannot, sir, he's out at elbow. some threepence; your honours have seen such dishes; they are not China dishes, but very good dishes. Escal. Go to, go to; no matter for the dish, sir. Clo. No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in the right: but, to the point; As I say, this mistress Elbow, being, as I say, with child, and being great belly'd, and longing, as I said, for prunes; and having but two in the dish, as I said, master Froth here, this very man, having eaten the rest, as I said, and, as I say, paying for them very honestly;-for, as you know, master Froth, I could not give you threepence again. Froth. No, indeed. Clo. Very well: you being then, if you be remember'd, cracking the stones of the aforesaid prunes. Froth. Ay, so I did, indeed. Clo. Why, very well: I telling you, then, if you be remember'd, that such a one, and such a one, were past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept very good diet, as I told you. Froth. All this is true. Clo. Why, very well then. Escal. Come, you are a tedious fool: to the purpose.-What was done to Elbow's wife, that he hath cause to complain of? Come we to what was done to her. Clo. Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet. Clo. Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour's leave: And, I beseech you, look into master Froth here, sir; a man of fourscore pound a year; whose father died at Hallowmas :-Was't not at Hallowmas, master Froth? Froth. All-hollond eve. Clo. Why, very well; I hope here be truths: He, sir, sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, sir;-'twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where, indeed, you have a delight to sit: Have you not? Froth. I have so, because it is an open room, and good for winter. Clo. Why, very well, then;-I hope here be truths. Ang. This will last out a night in Russia, When nights are longest there: I'll take my leave, And leave you to the hearing of the cause; Hoping you'll find good cause to whip them all. Escal. I think no less: Good morrow to your lordship. [Erit ANGELO. Now, sir, come on: What was done to Elbow's wife, once more? Clo. Once, sir? there was nothing done to her once. Elb. I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife. Clo. I beseech your honour, ask me. Escal. Well, sir: What did this gentleman to her? Clo. I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman's face-Good master Froth, look upon his honour: 'tis for a good purpose: Doth your honour mark his face? Escal. Ay, sir, very well. Clo. Nay, I beseech you, mark it well. Clo. Doth your honour see any harm in his face? Clo. I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him: Good then: if his face be the worst thing about him, how could master Froth do the constable's wife any harm? I would know that of your honour. Escal. He's in the right: Constable, what say you to it? Elb. First, an it like you, the house is a respected Elb. Ay, sir; whom, I thank heaven, is an honest house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his miswoman, Escal. Dost thou detest her therefore? Elb. I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a bawd's house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house. Escal. How dost thou know that, constable? Elb. Marry, sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a woman cardinally given, might have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanness there. Escal. By the woman's means? Elb. Ay, sir, by Mrs. Overdone's means: but as she spit in his face, so she defied him. Clo. Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so. Elb. Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable man, prove it. Escal. Do you hear how he misplaces?" [TO ANGELO. Clo. Sir, she came in great with child; and longing (saving your honour's reverence,) for stew'd prunes: sir, we had but two in the house, which at that very distant time stood, as it were, in a fruit dish, a dish of tress is a respected woman. Clo. By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us all. Elb. Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet: the time is yet to come, that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child. Clo. Sir, she was respected with him before he married with her. Escal. Which is the wiser here? Justice, or Iniquity? is this true? Elb. O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I respected with her, before I was married to her? If ever I was respected with her, or she with me, let not your worship think me the poor duke's officer: -Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I'll have mine action of battery on thee. Escal. If he took you a box o' th' ear, you might have your action of slander too. Elb. Marry, I thank your good worship for it: What is't your worship's pleasure I should do with this wicked caitiff? Escal. Truly, officer, because he hath some offences In him, that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst, let him continue in his courses, till thou know'st what they are. Elb. Marry, I thank your worship for it:-Thou seest, thou wicked varlet thou, what's come upon thee; thou art to continue now, thou varlet: thou art to continue. Escal. Where were you born, friend? [To FROTH. Escal. Are you of fourscore pounds a year? Clo. Pompey. Escal. What else? Clo. Bum, sir. Escal. "Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that, in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great. Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey, howsoever you colour it in being a tapster. Are you not? come, tell me true; it shall be the better for you. Clo. Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow, that would live. Escal. How would you live, Pompey? by being a bawd? What do you think of the trade, Pompey? is it a lawful trade? Clo. If the law would allow it, sir. Escal. But the law will not allow it, Pompey; nor it shall not be allowed in Vienna. Clo. Does your worship mean to geld and spay all the youth in the city? Escal. No, Pompey. Clo. Truly, sir, in my poor opinion, they will to't then: If your worship will take order for the drabs and the knaves, yon need not to fear the bawds. Escal. There are pretty orders beginning, I can tell you: It is but heading and hanging. Clo. If you head and hang all that offend that way but for ten year together, you'll be glad to give out a commission for more heads. If this law hold in Vienna ten year, I'll rent the fairest house in it, after threepence a bay: If you live to see this come to pass, say, Pompey told you so. Escal. Thank you, good Pompey: and, in requital of your prophecy, hark you.-I advise you, let me not find you before me again upon any complaint whatsoever, no, not for dwelling where you do; if I do, Pompey, I shall beat you to your tent, and prove a shrewd Cæsar to you; in plain dealing, Pompey, I shall have you whipt: so for this time, Pompey, fare you well. Clo. I thank your worship for your good counsel; but I shall follow it, as the flesh and fortune shall better determine. Whip me? No, no; let carman whip his jade; The valiant heart's not whipt out of his trade. [Exit. Escal. Come hither to me, master Elbow: come hither, master constable. How long have you been in this place of constable? Elb. Seven year and a half, sir. Escal. I thought, by your readiness in the office, you had continued in it some time: You say, seven years together? Elb. And a half, sir. Escal. Alas! it hath been great pains to you. They do you wrong to put you so oft upon 't: Are there not men in your ward sufficient to serve it? Elb. Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters: as they are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them; I do it for some piece of money, and go through with all. Escal. Look you, bring me in the names of some six or seven, the most sufficient of your parish. Elb. To your worship's house, sir? Escal. To my house: Fare you well. [Exit ELBOW.] Serv. Here is the sister of the man condemn'd, Well, let her be admitted. [Exit SERV Enter LUCIO and ISABELLA. Prov. Save your honour! [Offering to retire. Ang. Stay a little while.-[To ISAB.] You are welcome: What's your will? Isab. I am a woeful suitor to your honour, Please but your honour hear me. Ang. Well; what's your suit? Isab. There is a vice that most I do abhor, And most desire should meet the blow of justice; For which I would not plead but that I must; For which I must not plead but that I am At war 'twixt will and will not. Ang. Well; the matter? Isab. I have a brother is condemned to die: I do beseech you, let it be his fault, And not my brother. Prov. Heaven give thee moving graces! Ang. Condemn the fault, and not the actor of it! Why, every fault's condemn'd, ere it be done. Mine were the very cipher of a function, To fine the faults, whose fine stands in record, And let go by the actor. Isab. Oh! just but severe law ! I had a brother then.-Heaven keep your honour! [Retiring. Lucio. [To ISAB.] Give 't not o'er so: to him again Kneel down before him, hang upon his gown; Isab. Must he needs die? Ang. Maiden, no remedy. Isab. Yes; I do think that you might pardon him, And neither heaven nor man grieve at the mercy. Ang. I will not do 't. Isab. But can you, if you would? Ang. Look, what I will not, that I cannot, do. |