The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee, Were still at odds, being but three. 26 There's the moral. Now the l'envoy. Moth. I will add the l'envoy. Say the moral again.

Arm. The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee, 90 Were still at odds, being but three. Moth. Until the goose came out of door,

And stay'd the odds by adding four. Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with my l'envoy.

95

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee, Were still at odds, being but three. Arm. Until the goose came out of door, Staying the odds by adding four. Moth. A good l'envoy, ending in the goose; would you desire more?

100

Cost. The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.

Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.

To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose.

Let me see; a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat

Cost. O, marry me to one Frances! I smell some l'envoy, some goose, in this.

Arm. By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty, enfreedoming thy person. Thou wert immured, restrained, captivated, [125 bound.

Cost. True, true; and now you will be my purgation and let me loose.

Arm. I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and, in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this: bear this significant [130 [giving a letter] to the country maid Jaquenetta. There is remuneration; for the best ward of mine honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow. [Exit.]

Moth. Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, [Exit. 135

adieu. Cost. My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew!

Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three farthings- remuneration. "What's the price of this inkle? One penny. 'No, I'll give you a remunera- [140 tion: " why, it carries it. Remuneration! why, it is a fairer name than French crown. 1 will never buy and sell out of this word.

Cost. Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for a remuneration? Bir. What is a remuneration?

149

Cost. Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing. Bir. Why; then, three-farthing worth of silk. Cost. I thank your worship; God be wi' you! Bir. Stay, slave; I must employ thee. As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave, Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.

Cost. When would you have it done, sir? 155 Bir. This afternoon.

Cost. Well, I will do it, sir; fare you well. Bir. Thou knowest not what it is.

Cost. I shall know, sir, when I have done it. Bir. Why, villain, thou must know first. 100 Cost. I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.

Bir. It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this:

The Princess comes to hunt here in the park, 165
And in her train there is a gentle lady.
When tongues speak sweetly, then they name
her name,

And Rosaline they call her. Ask for her,
And to her white hand see thon do commend
This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon;

Cost. Gardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration, a 'leven-pence farthing better; most sweet gardon! I will do it, sir, in print. Gardon! Remuneration! [Exit.

Bir. And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have [17 been love's whip;

A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable;
A domineering pedant o'er the boy,

180

Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy;
This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general

Of trotting 'paritors; O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field,

185

And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop! 190
What! I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
A woman, that is like a German clock,
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watch'd that it may still go right! 195
Nay, to be perjur'd, which is worst of all;
And, among three, to love the worst of all,
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.

202

205

Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, groan: Some men must love my lady, and some Joan.

ACT IV

[SCENE I. The same.]

[Exit.]

Boyet. Here comes a member of the commonwealth.

Cost. God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady?

Prin. Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.

45

An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit,

One o' these maids' girdles for your waist

should be fit.

50

Are not you the chief woman? You are the thickest here.

Prin. What's your will, sir? what's your will?

Cost. I have a letter from Monsieur Biron to one Lady Rosaline.

Prin. O, thy letter, thy letter! He's a good friend of mine.

Stand aside good bearer.

carve;

Break up this capon.

Boyet.

Boyet, you can

I am bound to serve.

65

This letter is mistook; it importeth none here. It is writ to Jaquenetta.

Prin. We will read it, I swear. Break the neck of the wax, and every one give

ear.

Boyet. [Reads.] "By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible; true, that thou art [60 beauteous; truth itself, that thou art lovely. More fairer than fair, beautiful than beauteous, truer than truth itself, have commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set eye upon [65 the pernicious and indubitate beggar Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say,

Veni, vidi, vici; which to annothanize in the vulgar, - O base and obscure vulgar ! - videlicet, He came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; [70 saw, two; overcame, three. Who came? The king. Why did he come? To see. Why did he see? To overcome. To whom came he? To the beggar. What saw he? The beggar. Who overcame he? The beggar. The conclusion is victory; on whose side? The king's. [76 The captive is enriched; on whose side? The beggar's. The catastrophe is a nuptial; on whose side? The king's; no, on both in one, or one in both. I am the king, for so stands the comparison; thou the beggar, for so wit- [80 nesseth thy lowliness. Shall I command thy love? I may. Shall I enforce thy love? I could. Shall I entreat thy love? I will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes; for tittles? titles; for thyself? me. Thus, expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy [85 foot, my eyes on thy picture, and my heart on thy every part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry,

DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO." Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar 'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his

00

Ros. Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was a man when King Pepin of France was a little boy, as touching the hit it?

Boyet. So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a woman when Queen Guinever of [125 Britain was a little wench, as touching the hit it.

Ros. Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,
Thou canst not hit it, my good man.
[Exit [Ros.]

Boyet. An I cannot, cannot, cannot,
An I cannot, another can.

130

Cost. By my troth, most pleasant. How both

did fit it!

Lord, Lord, how the ladies and I have put him down!

O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony vulgar wit!

When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it were, so fit.

145

Armado o' the one side, -O, a most dainty man!

To see him walk before a lady and to bear her fan!

To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly 'a will swear!

And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit!

Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit! 150 Sola, sola!

[Exit [Costard]. Shoot within,

[SCENE II. The same.]

Enter DULL, HOLOFERNES the Pedant, and NATHANIEL.

Nath. Very reverend sport, truly, and done in the testimony of a good conscience.

Hol. The deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood; ripe as the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of caelo, the sky, the welkin, the heaven; and anon falleth like [5 a crab on the face of terra, the soil, the land, the earth.

Nath. Truly, Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly varied, like a scholar at the least; but, sir, I assure ye, it was a buck of the first head.

Hol. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.

10

Dull. 'T was not a haud credo; 't was a pricket.

Hol. Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of explication; facere, as it were, replication, or rather, ostentare, to show, as it were, his incli- [15 nation, after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather, unlettered, or ratherest, unconfirmed fashion, to assert again my haud credo for a deer.

20

Dull. I said the deer was not a haud credo; 't was a pricket.

Hol. Twice-sod simplicity, bis coctus!

O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!

Nath. Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book ;

25

he hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink; his intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts; And such barren plants are set before us, that we thankful should be,

29

Dull. And I say, the pollusion holds in the exchange, for the moon is never but a month old; and I say beside that, 't was a pricket that the Princess killed.

50

Hol. Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph on the death of the deer? And, to humour the ignorant, call I the deer the Princess killed a pricket.

Nath. Perge, good Master Holofernes, perge; so it shall please you to abrogate [as scurrility.

Hol. I will something affect the letter, for it argues facility.

"The preyful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty pleasing pricket;

Some say a sore; but not a sore, till now made sore with shooting.

The dogs did yell: put L to sore, then sorel jumps from thicket;

60

Or pricket sore, or else sorel; the people fall a-hooting.

If sore be sore, then L to sore make fifty sores one sorel.

Of one sore I an hundred make by adding but one more L."

Hol. This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions. These are begot in the ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb [70 of pia mater, and delivered upon the mellowing of occasion. But the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it.

Nath. Sir, I praise the Lord for you, and so may my parishioners; for their sons are [75 well tutor d by you, and their daughters profit very greatly under you. You are a good member of the commonwealth.

Hol. Mehercle, if their sons be ingenious, [se they shall want no instruction; if their daughters be capable, I will put it to them: but vir sapit qui pauca loquitur; a soul feminine saluteth us.

Enter JAQUENETTA and the Clown [COSTARD]. Jaq. God give you good morrow, master Parson.

Hol. Master Parson, quasi pers-on. An if [85 one should be pierc'd, which is the one?

Cost. Marry, master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.

Hol. Of piercing a hogshead! a good lustre of conceit in a tuft of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough for a swine; 't is pretty; [90 it is well.

Jaq. Good master Parson, be so good as read me this letter. It was given me by Costard, and sent me from Don Armado. I beseech you, read it.

Hol. Fauste, precor gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra ruminat.—and so forth. Ah, [»

Celestial as thou art, O, pardon love this wrong, That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue."

Hol. You find not the apostrophas, and so miss the accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are only numbers ratified; but, for the [125 elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret. Ovidius Naso was the man; and why, indeed, Naso, but for smelling out the odoriferous flowers of fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari is nothing: so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper, the tired horse his [130 rider. But, damosella virgin, was this directed to you?

Jaq. Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange queen's lords.

66

Hol. I will overglance the superscript: "To [135 the snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady Rosaline." I will look again on the intellect of the letter, for the nomination of the party writing to the person written unto: Your ladyship's in all desired employment, BIRON." Sir Nathaniel, this Biron is one of the vota- [140 ries with the King; and here he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger queen's, which accidentally, or by the way of progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go, my sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the [145 King; it may concern much. Stay not thy compliment; I forgive thy duty. Adieu.

[Exeunt Cost. and Jaq.] Nath. Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very religiously; and, as a certain father saith,

Hol. Sir, tell not me of the father; I do fear colourable colours. But to return to the [155 verses did they please you, Sir Nathaniel? Nath. Marvellous well for the pen.

Hol. I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil of mine; where, if, before repast, it shall please you to gratify the table with a [161 grace, I will, on my privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I will prove those verses to be very unlearned, neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention. I beseech your so- [165 ciety.

Nath. And thank you too; for society, saith the text, is the happiness of life.

Hol. And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it. [To Dull.] Sir, I do invite you [170 too; you shall not say me nay: pauca verba. Away! the gentles are at their game, and we will to our recreation. [Exeunt.

[SCENE III. The same.]

Enter BIRON, with a paper in his hand, alone. Bir. The King he is hunting the deer, I am coursing myself; they have pitched a toil, I am toiling in a pitch, pitch that defiles; defile! a foul word. Well, "set thee down, sorrow!" for so they say the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool: well proved, wit! By the [ Lord, this love is as mad as Ajax. It kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep: well proved again o' my side! I will not love; if I do, hang me; i' faith, I will not. O, but her eye, by this light, but for her eye, I would not love her; yes, for [10 her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love; and it hath taught me to rhyme and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme, and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' [15 my sonnets already; the clown bore it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin, if the other three were in. Here comes one with a paper; God give him [20 grace to groan! [He stands aside.

Enter the KING [with a paper].