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Fab. Very brief, and to exceeding good sense - less.

Sir To. (Reads.] “I will waylay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,

Fab. Good.

Sir To. [Reads.). "Thou kill'st me like a rogue and a villain.”

Fab. Still you keep o'the windy side of the law; good.

Sir To. (Reads.] “Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou (186 usest him, and thy sworn enemy,

ANDREW AGUECHEEK." If this letter move him not, his legs cannot. I'll give 't him.

Mar. You may have very fit occasion for 't. He is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.

Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew, scout me for him at the corner of the orchard like a bum-baily. So soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou draw'st, swear horrible ; for it comes (195 to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twang'd off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earn'd him. Away! Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing.

[Exit. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter ; for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding ; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less; therefore this letter, being (205 so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth, set apon Aguecheek a notable report of valour, and drive the gentleman, as I [210 know his youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.

Re-enter OLIVIA with VIOLA. Fab. Here he comes with your niece. Give them way till he take leave, and presently after him.

Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge.

(Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and

Maria.) Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of

stone, And laid mine honour too unchary on't. There's something in me that reproves my

fault; But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof. Vio. With the same 'haviour that your pas

sion bears Goes on my master's grief. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 't is my

picture. Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;

And I beseech you come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
That honour sav'd may upon asking give ?
Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for

my master.
Oli. How with mine honour may I give him

that Which I have given to you? Vio.

I will acquit you. Oli. Well, come again to-morrow. Fare thee

well! A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.

(Erit.] Re-enter SIR TOBY and FABIAN. Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee! Vio. And you,

sir. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't. Of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not ; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end. Dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.

Vio. You mistake, sir, I am sure. No man hath any quarrel to me. My remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.

Sir To. You 'll find it otherwise, I assure you; therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard ; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skis, and wrath can furnish man withal.

Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he?

Sir To. He is knight, dubb'd with unhatch'd rapier and on carpet consideration ; but he is a Hevil in private brawl. Souls and bodies hath he divorc'd three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchro. Hob, nob, is his word ; give't or take't. W 283

Vio. I will return again into the house and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I bave heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valour. Belike this is a man of that quirk. 368

Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury, therefore, get you on and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me which with as much safety you might answer him ; therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about yon.

Vio. This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is. It is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose.

Sir To. I will do so. Signor Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit.

Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?

Fab. I know the knight is incens'd against you, even to a mortal arbitrement, but nothing of the circumstance more,

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Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he?

Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him if I can.

Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't. I am one that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight. I care not who knows so much of my mettle.

(Exeunt. 300 Re-enter Sir Toby, with SIR ANDREW. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hits the ground they step [306 on. They say he has been fencer to the Sophy.

Sir And. Poxon't, I'll not meddle with him.

Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified. Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.

Sir And. Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damn'd ere I'd have challeng'd him. Let him let the matter slip, and I 'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.

Sir To. make the motion. Stand here ; make a good show on't. This shall end without the perdition of souls. (Aside.] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.

Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. (To Fab.) I have his horse to take up the quarrel. I have persuaded him the youth 's a devil,

Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.

Sir To. (To Vio.] There's no remedy, sir ; he will fight with you for 's oath sake. Marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of ; therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow. He protests

he will not hurt you. Vio. (Aside.) Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man.

Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. 834 Sir To. Come, Sir' Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you. He cannot by the duello avoid it; but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath!

Vio. I do assure you, 't is against my will.

(They draw. Ant. Put up your sword. If this young gen

tleman Have done offence, I take the fault on me; If you offend him, 'I for him defy you.

Sir To. You, sir! Why, what are you?


Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am

[They draw. 56 Enter OFFICERS. Fab. O good Sir Toby, hold ! Here come the officers. Sir To. I'll be with you anon.

Vio. Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.

Sir And. Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promis'd you, I'll be as good as my word. He will bear you easily and reins well. 1. Off. This is the man; do thy office. 2. Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 1. Off. No, sir, no jot. I'know your favour

well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Take him away; he knows I know him well. s Ant. I must obey. (To Vio.] This comes

with seeking you.
But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
What will you do, now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse ? It grieves
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz'd,
But be of comfort.

2. Off. Come, sir, away.
Ant. I must entreat of you some of that

Vio. What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,
And, part, being prompted by your present

Out of my lean and low ability
I'll lend you something. My having is not

I'll make division of my present with you. 0
Hold, there's half my coffer.

Will you deny me now?
Is 't possible that my deserts to you
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my mis-

Lest that it make me so unsound a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you.

I know of none,
Nor know I you by voice or any feature.
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corrup-

Inhabits our frail blood.

O heavens themselves !
2. Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go:
Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that

you see here
I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death,
Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love,.
And to his image, which methought did pro-

Most venerable worth, did I devotion.




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1. Off. What's that to us? The time goes Seb. I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from

by; away! Ant. But, o, how vile an idol proves this There's money for thee. If you tarry longer, 20 god!

I shall give worse payment, Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand. In nature there's no blemish but the mind ; 401 These wise men that give fools money get themNone can be call'd deform'd but the unkind.

selves a good report — after fourteen years' Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil

purchase. Are empty trunks o'erflourish'd by the devil. 1. Off The man grows mad; away with him!

Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY, and FABIAN. Come, come, sir.

Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again ? Ant. Lead me on. [Exit (with Officers). There's for you. Vio. Methinks his words do from such pas- Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and sion fly,

there. Are all the people mad? That he believes himself ; so do not I.

Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagProve true, imagination, 0, prove true,

ger o'er the house. That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! 410 Clo. This will I tell my lady straight. I

Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, would not be in some of your coats for two Fabian ; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of pence.

(Exit.) mnost sage saws.

Sir To. Come on, sir. Hold ! Vio. He nam'd Sebastian. I my brother Sir And. Nay, let him alone. I'll go an- (36 know

other way to work with him. I 'll have an Yet living in my glass; even such and so action of battery against him, if there be any In favour was my brother, and he went

law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,

it's no matter for that. For him I imitate. O, if it prove,

Seb. Let

go thy hand. Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. love.

(Exit.] Come, my young soldier, pat up your iron; you Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and (120 are well Aesh'd. Come on. more a coward than a hare. His dishonesty Seb. I will be free from thee. What wouldst appears in leaving his friend here in necessity thou now? and denying him; and, for his cowardship, ask If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy Fabian.

sword. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, re- Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must ligious in it.

have an ounce or two of this malapert blood Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.

Enter OLIVIA. Sir To. Do ; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.

Oli. Hold, Toby! On thy life I charge thee, Sir And. An I do not,

hold! Fab. Come, let's see the event.

Sir To. MadamSir To. I dare lay any money 't will be no- Oli. Will it be thus ? Ungracious thing yet.



Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, ACT IV

Where manners ne'er were preach'd ! Out of

my sight!
SCENE I. [Before Olivia's house.) Be not offended, dear Cesario.
Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown.

Rudesby, be gone!

(Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Clo. Will you make me believe that I am not

Fabian.] sent for you

I prithee, gentle friend, Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway let me be clear of thee.

In this uncivil and unjust extent Clo. Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not [s Against thy peace. Go with me to my house, know you; nor I am not sent to you by my And hear thou there how many fruitless lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your pranks name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.

thereby Seb. I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else. Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose Thou know'st not me.

Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me, of some great man and now applies it to a fool. He started one poor heart of mine in thee. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, Seb. What relish is in this? How runs the the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now,

stream ? ungird thy strangeness and tell me what I shali Or I am mad, or else this is a dream. vent to my lady. Shall I vent to her that thou Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep.. art coning?

If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!


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but go.

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Oli. Nay,,come, I prithee. Would thou’dst

be rul'd by me Seb. Madam, I will. Oli.

O, say so, and so be!

(Exeunt. SCENE II. (Olivia's house.)

Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard. Make him believe thou art Sir To pas the curate. Do it quickly; I'll call Sir Toby the whilst.

(Exit.] * Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in 't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful (10 man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.

Enter SiR TOBY (and MARIA).
Sir To. Jove bless thee, master Parson.

Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gor- (16 boduc, “That that is is"; so I, being master Parson, am master Parson; for, what is that” but" that,” and “is” but “is ” ?

Sir To. To him, Sir Topas.
Clo._What, ho, I say! Peace in this prison !

Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

Mal. (Within.) Who calls there?

Clo. Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.

Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.

Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend ! How vexest thou this manT Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?

Sir To. Well said, master Parson.
Mal. Sir Topas, never

thus wronged. Good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad. They have laid me here in hideous darkness.

Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Say'st thou that house is dark?

Mal. As hell, Sir Topas.

Clo. Why, it' hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony; complainest thou of obstruction ?

Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you, this house is dark.

Clo. Madman, thou errest. I say, there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzl'd than the Egyptians in their fog.

Mal. I say, this house is dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell, and I (6.0 say, there was never man thus abus'd. I am no more mad than you are. Make the trial of it in any constant question.

Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl ?

Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What think'st thou of his opinion ?

Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas ! Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas ! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.

Mar. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown. He sees thee not.

Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou find'st him. I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently deliver'd, I would he were, for I am now so far in offence with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to (13 the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.

(Exit (with Maria). Clo. (Singing.] “Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,

Tell me how thy lady does." Mal. Fool ! Clo. “My lady is unkind, perdy." Mal. Fool! Clo, " Alas, why is she so ? " Mal. Fool, I say!

Clo. She loves another" - Who calls, ha ?

Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper. As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for 't.

Clo. Master Malvolio ?
Mal. Ay, good fool.

Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?

Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abus'd. I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.



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and yet


deed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.

Mal. They have here propertied me, keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits.

Clo. Advise you what you say ; the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! Endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.

Mal. Sir Topas !

Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir ? Not I, sir. God buy you, good Sir Topas. Marry, amen. I will, sir,

I will.

Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say ! Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir ? I am shent for speaking to you.

Mal. Good fool, help me to some light and some paper. I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.


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That my most jealous and toa doubtful soul
May live at peace. He shall conceal it
Whiles you are willing it shall come to note,
What time we will our celebration keep
According to my birth. What do you say?
Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with

you; And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. Oli. Then lead the way, good father; and

heavens so shine That they may fairly note this act of mine ! S6






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Clo. Well-a-day that you were, sir ! Mal. By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper, and light; and convey what I will set down to my lady.' It shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.

Clo. I will help you to 't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed, or do you but counterfeit? Mal. Believe me, I am not. I tell thee true.

Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink.

Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree. I prithee, be gone. Clo. (Singing.) I am gone, sir,

And anon, sir,
I'll be with you again,

In a trice,

Like to the old Vice,
Your need to sustain ;
Who, with dagger of lath,
In his rage and his wrath,

Cries, ah, ha! to the devil,
Like a mad lad.
Pare thy nails, dad.
Adieu, goodman devil.

[Erit. SCENE III. (Olivia's garden.]

Enter SEBASTIAN. Seb. This is the air, that is the glorious sun, This pearl she gave me, I do feel 't and see 't; And though 't is wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 't is not madness. Where's Antonio, then ? I could not find him at the Elephant ; Yet there he was, and there I found this

credit, That he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service; For though my soul disputes well with my

sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and food of fortune 11 So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to distrust mine eyes And wrangle with my reason that persuades To any other trust but that I am mad Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 't were so, She could not sway her house, command her

followers, Take and give back affairs and their dispatch With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bear

ing As I perceive she does. There's something

in't That is deceivable. But here the lady comes.

Enter OLIVIA and Priest. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine. If you

mean well, Now go with me and with this holy man Into the chantry by; there, before him, and underneath that consecrated roof, Plight me the full assurance of your faith,


SCENE I. (Before Olivia's house.]

Enter Clown and FABIAN. Fab. Now, as thou lov'st me, let me see his letter.

Clo. Good Master Fabian, grant me another request.

Fab. Anything,
Clo. Do not desire to see this letter.

Fab. This is to give a dog and in recompense desire my dog again.

Enter DUKE, VIOLA, CURIO, and Lords. Duke. Belong you to the Lady Olivia, friends ?

Clo. Ay, sir! we are some of her trappings.

Duke. I know thee well; how dost thou, my good fellow ?

Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes and the worse for my friends.

Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends.

Clo. No, sir, the worse.
Duke. How can that be ?

Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me. Now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass ; so that by my foes, sir, I profit in [20 the knowledge of myself, and by my friends I am abused ; so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why then, the worse for my friends and the better for my foes.

Duke. Why, this is excellent.

Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends.

Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me. There's gold.

Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another.

Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.

Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it.

Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner, to be a double-dealer. There's another.

Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is,' the third pays for all. The triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure ; *0 or the bells of Saint Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; one, two, three. Duke.' You can fool no more money out of




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