them both together: But fhe has nothing to guide her, in order to diftinguish between the Right one and the Wrong, faving only, that fhe likes him better, who has prefented her with a Gold Goblet, than him, who has only talked to her about a Gold Thimble; all which Circumftances, being duly weighed, will discover a vaft Disparity between the two Cafes. For though it be allowable for Ladies, and their Gentlewomen, to divert each other in private with felling Bargains; yet certain good Reafons might be affigned, why it is not altogether fo proper for the Gentlewomen to use the fame Freedom with the Footmen.

As it is no Difparagement to the Court Ladies, that at a convenient Distance of Time, their Fafhions of Apparel are aukwardly imitated by the Wives and Daughters of the Yeomanry; fo neither is it a Diminution to the Top-Paets, whom I have here quoted, that their favourite Way of Wit fhould, after a Sort, be drawn into Example, by Merry-Andrew and Punch, upon their respective Stages.

I will not fuppofe my Reader ignorant, that there is fuch a Thing as a practical Jeft, or jeu de Theatre. Moliere and Mr. Shadwell can furnifh him with Plenty of them. It is therefore no Wonder, that among the reft, there fhould be fuch a Thing as a practical Bargain, not expreffed in Words, but implied in Action or Dumb-fhew. Let us fuppofe, if you pleafe, that a Captain Tom of the Rabble, in leading up his Troops to demolifh fome Houfe of ill Fame, fhould artfully contrive, at the Head of his Mirmydons, to crack the String of his Breeches; or fuppofe, that an Admiral at Sea fhould anfwer a neighbourly Salute with a fingle Gun from his Poop; it must be acknow ledged, upon impartial Confideration, that in either

of

of these Cafes, there is a Bargain fold indirectly, or by Implication.

After this Manner did a pleafant Monarch fell a practical Bargain to all and every the Orders of Knighthood, when he inlifted among them a Sirloin of Beef, and when he conferred the fame Title of Honour upon a Sir-reverence: Not to mention fome equally deferving Instances of Knighthood of a much later Date.

In like Manner, the Loyal City of London implicitly fold a Bargain to the Remains of the Long Parliament, by their Triumphant Ceremony of roafting Rumps; which will be perpetuated, to their immortal Memory, not only by the ingenious Cut lately prepared to embellish the new Edition of Hudibras; but by I will not farther explain myself, left I fhould be thought to give a Handle for Reftraining the Liberty of the Prefs. It muft indeed be owned, that the Parliament itself inadvertently paved the Way for this Jeft, by caufing their Coin to be dreffed out, as an ingenious Writer fpeaks, in a monstrous Pair of Breeches.

Chaucer has given us an Account, in his Sompnour's Tale, of a remarkable Legacy delivered by a Bed-ridden Man into the Hand of a Friar, having first fworn him to divide it equally amongst the Brethren of the Convent. Upon the Receipt of it, the good Father puts himself in a violent Paffion, calls the Fellow a Churl, complains of a Defpite, and is exceedingly grieved, that he has undertaken upon Oath,

To part it, that wolle not departid be.

But, as he no where complains of the Farmer for having fold him a Bargain; fo I do not mention

the

the Tranfaction as fuch, but only to obferve to my English Reader, how early this Part of the Nation was difpofed to comply with the Practice, whenever it should happen to be introduced.

It is fometimes feen, that a Perfon, whofe Genjus does not much incline him that Way, fhall accidentally blunder upon a Jeft, or deviate into a Pun; and therefore it is no fuch great Wonder, that a ferious Matron of the City fhould unwittingly fell a Bargain in a Letter to her Relation in the Country. The moft confiderable Piece of Intelligence in the whole Epiftle was, to acquaint her Kinfwoman, how fhe had lately got rid of a violent Cold and Pain in her Head; and being of a communicative Difpofition, and willing that others might receive the fame Benefit by the fame Means, fhe proceeded to relate, that the Cure was performed by ftopping her Ears with Black-Wooll. But as it fell out, that fhe was not fo exactly correct in Orthography as fome of her Neighbours, when the came to write the poor Monofyllable Ears, fhe made a most unaccountable Tranfpofition, by removing the firft Letter of the Word clear away from the Beginning to the End of it. I could never learn, with any Degree of Certainty, what was the Iffue of this Advice; but in Cafe it were addreffed to one better verfed in Spelling, and of fome Credit in the Profeffions of Phyfick and Surgery, it might produce an extraordinary Experiment, by fetting every Body in his Turn upon mifapplying the prefcribed Remedy to a wrong Part, and fo propagate the Bargain throughout the whole Parish.

I fhall now conclude this Differtation, by doing Juftice to the Memory of Hugh Peters, whom I muft declare to have been the greatest Proficient in the Mystery of felling practical Bargains, of all,

who

who have hitherto fallen under my Obfervation, except ONE; whom I fhall not be at Liberty to mention till the End of this Seffion. It is reported of this wonderful Man, that he undertook upon a Wager to hold forth from his Pulpit in fuch a Manner, as to cause one Moiety of his Congregation to weep devoutly, whilft he threw the other into a hearty Fit of Laughter. This difficult Attempt he fuccefsfully accomplished, by appearing to those who faw his Face, in the Garb and folemn Grimace of a Puritanical Preacher, and at the fame Time to those, who viewed him behind, in the Difhabille of a Heathen Philofopher.

POSTSCRIPT.

THE

HE Publick will, I doubt not, observe, that I have taken the utmost Care to avoid the leaft Imputation of fomenting or encouraging our unhappy Animofities, by not touching on the Subject of Political Bargains, and have the Juftice to acknowledge, that it could proceed from nothing but a predominant Love of my Country; fince it cannot be denied, that the prefent Conjuncture would fupply me with Inftances enough of this Nature, particularly that of a certain famous Bargain which One great Potentate pretends to have Bought of another; but I chufe to refer this important Affair to be difcuffed in a more folemn Manner, and by Perfons, who are better able than myself to determine in what Senfe either This or any other Bargain of State may be properly faid to be Bought or Sold by the refpective Powers concerned.

HIC LABOR, Hoc OP Us!

A

A SERMON preach'd to the People at the Mercat-Cross of Edinburgh, on the Subject of the UNION in 1706, while the Act for Uniting the Two Kingdoms was depending before the Parliament there.

With a PREFACE by the Editor, Setting forth the Advantages which have, in Fact, accrued to the Kingdom of Scotland by its Union with England.

O fortunatos nimiùm, fua fi bona nôrint.

PREFACE.

TH

Virg.

HE following little Piece was printed at Edinburgh in the Year 1706, while the Act for the Union of the Two Kingdoms was depending before the Parliament there. The Author feems to have been thoroughly acquainted with the Intereft of his Native Country: A Vein alfo of good Senfe runs thro' the whole: It is therefore hoped, that the Reprinting of it may be of fome Service now, to undeceive thofe ho

neft