Who knows (tho' it had rag'd no higher)
What pretty Feet had fwell'd by Fire?
But fee that Knot of Shepherdeffes,
And Shepherds -well-they're pretty Dreffes.
Such the Arcadian Shepherds wear,
When Love alone could charm the Fair:
Such the Arcadian Nymphs, when Love
Beauty alone in Men cou'd move.
How happy did they fport away,
In fragrant Bow'rs, the fcorching Day;
Or, to the Nightingale's foft Tune,
Danc'd by the Luftre of the Moon!
Beauteous the Nymphs, the Swains fincere,
They knew no Jealoufy, no Fear:
Together flock'd, like Turtle-Doves,
All conftant to their plighted Loves.
How different is now their Fate!
Both equally confpire to cheat.
Florus, with lying Billet-doux
The charming Rofalind purfues
Follows her to the Play -to Court,
Where-ever the Beau-Monde refort.
Some half a Year he's made that Tool,
The wife Yclepe a Woman's Fool:
At laft the pittying Fair relents,
And to his utmost Wish consents.
No fooner is the Nymph enjoy'd,
Than Florus, fickle Youth, is cloy'd.
He leaves her for another Toast;
She laughs and crys-Pray

who has loft?

Madam, faid I, a Simile
Of mine will with your Tale agree.
So have I feen two Gamefters meet,
(Both ignorant that both wou'd cheat)
Throw half an Hour of Life away,
Cheating by turns in fruitlefs Play.

At

At laft each other's Tricks difcover,
And wifely give their throwing_over:
At one another laugh, as Fools,
And run away to feek new Culls.
Poet, your Simile is juft.

But what comes here? quoth I-A Ghoft;
I hope the Fantom does not scare you?
Ono, fays fhe: But fee what's near you.
O hideous! what a dreadful Face!
Worfe than the Mafter's of the Place?
Has Nature been so very sparing
Of Uglinefs, to th' Age we are in;
That our Deformity by Nature
Art must contrive to render greater?
Quoth fhe, for different Reafons here,
In different Mafques, we all appear.
Some ugly Vizards are defign'd
To raise Ideas in the Mind;

Which may, like Foils, confpire to grace
The leffer Horrors of the Face.

Others in beauteous Mafques delight,
To be thought Belles for half a Night;
As proud of this fhort Transformation,
As Juftice Dk at C-r-n-t-n.
For know, (tho' 'tis by few believ'd)
Moft go away from hence deceiv'd:
Error, (ftrange Goddess !) ruleth here,
And from her Caftle in the Air,"
Carefully watches o'er our Motions,
Receives our Off'rings and Devotions.
Behold, aloft, the Goddess fit,
In her Appearance a Coquette;
Six Beaus, as many Belles, are shown,
On Right, and Left-hand of her Throne.
See Venus, Bacchus, Fortune there;
So, at this Distance, they appear:
But all are Pictures view them near.

The

The Goddess thefe, with fubtle Art,
Has plac'd, to captivate each Heart.
For whilft you with a vain Entreaty,
Attack the Favourite painted Deity,
You fall into an unfeen Net;
(By Error on that Purpose set.)
Thus caught, you are oblig'd to wander
Through a myfterious wild Meander:
Wearied, at laft you find the Door,
Then hey to Wine, or Wife, or W.
Of thefe, no Matter which, a Dose
Your Senfes does in Sleep compose;
Waking, all your Adventures feem
An idle, trifling, feverish Dream.
This Fate, indeed, does not befal
(Tho' much the greater Numbers) all:
For fome o'er-leap with nimble Feet;
Others, with stronger, break the Net:
Then kneeling at the favourite Shrine,
They make the Deity benign.

Now that a G-d may be entreated,
By Prayers to Images related;
"Twill not be credited by fome
In England, but by all at Rome.

Thus Fortune fends the Gamefters Luck,
Venus her Votary a

Mistress

Oh! Criticks, fpare the Crime,

Of one who cou'd not find a Rhyme.
Bacchus, that jolly Power Divine,
To his Petitioner fends Wine.

The lucky Gamefter, when Repofe
No longer will his Eye-lids close,
With Triumph feels his loaded Breeches,
That bend beneath the weighty Riches.
The happy Lover, when he wakes,
And a Survey of Celia takes,

A&

As fleeping by his Side the lies,

Kiffes, in Ecftafy; her Eyes.

Her Lips, her Breast; devours her Charms,

And dies in Raptures, in her Arms.
The honeft Sot, difdaining Reft,
Finds Joy imperial in his Breaft;
As great an Emperor as any
In Bedlam, Ruffia or Germany:

But tho' each Godship kindly grants
To fome Petitioners their Wants :
Each does refufe (I know not why)
With fome Petitions to comply;
And oft requites a hearty Prayer,
(Inftead of Joys) with Woes and Care:
For view the young unfeafon'd Drinker,
Oh Lord methinks I fmell him ftink here;
Welt'ring, he in his Pigfty lies,

And curfes all Debaucheries.

The undone Gamefter wakes, and tears,
From his ill-fated Head, his Hairs.
The Lover, who has now poffefs'd,
From unknown Flora, his Request;
(Who with a pretty, modeft Grace,
Discover'd all Things but her Face:)
Pulls off her Mafque in am'rous Fury,
And finds a gentle Nymph of Drury,
Curfes his Luft laments his Fate,
And kicks her out of Bed too late.
From different Springs, of equal Pain,
The Gamefter and Gallant complain;
The Gamefter mourns his lofing Lot,
The Lover fears that he has got.
These are the Scenes wherein engage
The Numbers now upon this Stage.
Thefe are the different Ends, which all
In different Degrees befal.

B

Now

Now I'll difcover who I am:
A Mufe Calliope my Name.
I food furpriz'd, whilft from my Sight
She vanifh'd, in a fudden Flight.

Harmony in an Uproar : A Letter to F-d—k H---d---1, Efq; M----r of the O----a H----e in the Hay - Market, from Hurlothrumbo Johnfon, Efq; Compofer Extraordinary to all the Theatres in G---T-B---T---N, Excepting that of the HAY-MARKET. In which the Rights and Merits of both O-S are properly confider❜d.

-Neq; ut me miretur turba, laboro,

Contentus paucis Auditoribus

Nec pluribus impar.

Wonderful SIR!

HE mounting Flames of my Ambition having long afpir'd to the Honour of holding a fmall Conversation with you; but being fenfible of the almost infuperable Difficulty of getting at you, I bethought me, a Paper Kite might beft reach you, and foar to your Apartment, though feated in the higheft Clouds; for all the World knows, I can top you, fly as high as you will.

But all preliminary Compliments, and introductory Paragraphs laid afide, let us fall to Bufinefs

You