Within a week I cut the bark off Hosea Butt's nose, after he had opened the pates of Mike and Bob at a single-stick match, and from that time who but Blaise the waddler was king paramount at Shapcot's, with all but the dame and Ally. I solaced them during the first three days of March-the deaf days, when they fear to sow corn (seed never growing that is buried at such time) and none lifted up so loud a voice as Ikey Wall at their harvest-home, when the old man, with sons, servants and assistant-neighbours about him, according to ancient custom, raised the garlanded oak-bough from earth towards heaven, in token of thanksgiving for his plentiful crops. Dozens whooped as the green branch was elevated, but my whoop was heard above all. The lass grew more kind, but she warmed to me slowly. The Justice I made a fool of, in the presence of Ally, regularly once a month; and whenever he sneaked down to the farmer's, I, to the horrible discontent, fretting, and fuming of the dame, was found perched upon the seat of honour allotted to his worship, from which, refusing to wag an inch, with gibe and song, I flouted him most respectfully. He never could find occasion to quarrel with me openly, so well did I manage my taunts and girds. But the bee stings sorely through his rose-leaf-the Justice felt my thrusts, though prettily veiled, and hated me most bitterly. One night, when the dame expected his worship, she persuaded Ally to hang the rind of a turnip, which she had contrived to pare off without fracture, on the latch of the door. Whoever first enters is fated to be the bridegroom of the lass who fastens up this charm; and the old woman was desirous of doing away with the idea in Ally's mind, that, having quaffed the gander's-foot-ash cider, she was doomed to be linked to Blaise-by his worship being notified, under the influence of a cantrip of equal power, as the future lord of her hand. I was at the next farm moulding spoons of the bits of metal which the women had hoarded, when my little ally warned me of my peril. You may wonder why Admonition was so true to my interest. Gratitude made her my friend. She had the hooping-cough three years before, and I, in pity to the child, plucked a few hairs from the brown streak that adorns my donkey's shoulder, sewed them up in a rag of my gown, and hung the charm with my own hands about her pretty neck. She was well in a week. But to proceed, his worship had already ambled down the hill from the village church when Addy came to me, but by a cross-path and good speed I reached the door before him. Oh! Saint Botolph! how she stared, the old dame did-and how she blushed, my beauty did-when I entered, and taking the rind from the latch unbroken to Ally's lap, snatched a hearty buss for my fee. Shortly after in rolled his worship, and the first thing he heard was little Admonition's tale, maliciously and shortly told, of the turnip charm. Sore was he at heart, though he affected to despise such follies; and I remember well, that on the same evening I gained a peg upon him thus: Ally, by accident, laid the bellows on the table whereupon his arm rested, and well the fat gentle knew, that she who places such an utensil on the board will be unlucky for three days after if she take it up again herself. Well he knew, too, that whosoever relieves the slut of that duty removes the ill-chance from her shoulders to his own; but fast he sat as roopy turkey-poult. I afforded him a fair opportunity to be gallant, but, finding him utterly currish, tripped at last across the floor

and taking the bellows from his elbow hung it on its peg in the chimney. He repented when I touched it, but he was then too late. Thus obtained I a smile from my rose of the valley, and many a thorny look did she afterwards inflict on her cowardly suitor. The dame foamed, but I was merry with little Addy, and basked in the warm sunny looks of my love. Justice, thought I, to-day have I dealt thee a pong in the midriff.

"He was a miserly rogue, and once when I came to his house in the way of my profession, on putting a handful from the heap which he warranted to be ashes of wood into my mouth, I knew, by the smack they left on my tongue, that they were vilely adulterated. 'Your worship,' said I, ' to every seam of your wood, you have burnt nine days gathering of cowdal from the moor, a hundred of turf, and many a square of tanners' leather-chips, as well as niggardly bricks of blended clay, small coal, and cinders-my palate tells me this; and yet you warrant the heap to be all hard-wood and coppice ash. Did you think my tongue was ignorant as a quarry-slate ?-Fie! fie! This lie of his got abroad; he was nick-named for it, and I, by him, more hated than ever. He has a fish-pond in his grounds which, tradition saith, is the abiding place of a furious water-pixy for twenty days current at the conclusion of every century. I had heard of the sprite's tricks in the days of our grandads, and on the time of his re-appearance approaching, posted myself, night by night, near the pond, to watch his pranks. By way of amusing myself, I gutted the water, with the aid of Tommy, my otter, and feasted my friends with the spoil. They knew not where I obtained the fish-it was enough for them that they had it to prey on. Meantime I daily heard tales about the Pixy of Blackpool. He was described in a thousand different ways, and such feats were assigned to him as ear never heard before. I still fished in the waters— Tommy and I-but deuce a smiggott of aught wonderful saw we, save and except only a colossal carp now and then, during all our watchings. At last, his worship, while wandering with dame Shapcot about his lands to astound her with his rich possessions in beeve and fleece, unconsciously neared (about sunset) a hedge that fringed the bank of Blackpool. In the heat of an eloquent sally on the rare wool of his chilver-hogs then present, suddenly drops the uplifted cane from my gentleman's hand, he roars like a town-bull, and takes to his heels, most uncourteously leaving the dame to settle with his honour the Pixy in the best way she could. I was up to my belt in water when I heard his shout (he shouts well, his worship does) aiding Tommy to capture a fine fish. I was busied, to be sure, but I looked suddenly and carefully about me, and no pixy saw I-deuce a bit of one. The dame, however, vowed she did, and sorely terrified she was. I found her sprawling and praying on the ground-and most superfluous of kisses and kindness she became when I raised her up. As we walked towards home, she lavished curses, bitter as the words to which women are restricted could make, on the cowardly brutal Justice, for leaving a helpless woman in such a situation; and lauded me to the skies as a mirror of goodness and manhood. Ally despised his worship, and looked upon me as a living wonder, for my daring hardihood in rescuing her mother from the jaws of the terrible Blackpool goblin. I said nothing, but eh! me! how I chuckled! The Justice never showed his ruby

nose at Shapcot's again, and matters went on swimmingly in favour of Blaise. One night Ally stole out with some other maids to sing

'New moon! True moon-tell unto me,

Who my love and husband shall be.'

She stuck the heart

I was standing at her elbow when she concluded.
of one of Bob's game-cocks, that had been killed in battle, with new
pins, placed it under her pillow in a stocking which had been thrice
washed in fountain water, and bleached as often in moonlight: that
night she confessed I was the subject of her dreams. The charm
worked in favour of Blaise. She went to see the sun and moon jig to-
gether in the brook on Easter morning, with her true love's face laugh-
ing at the fun. She glimpsed the peak of my mitre in the waters, and
shrieking fell-into my arms! If she loitered in the church-yard at
nightfall to chaunt-

'Hemp seed I set, and hemp seed I sow,
Let my bonny boy come hither to mow,'

I was accidentally passing that way with a scythe or a bill on my shoulder, after assisting her brothers a-field. Could she but love me? Or was she to fight fate? When each of us present at a merry-meeting threw a lock of hair on the fire (I need scarce say that the owner of the lock that frizzles without flaming is doomed to die within the year) she grew pale as a lily when mine created no blaze. Then I was sure she loved me! It was a bit of my palfrey's mane, but I could not bring the colour to her cheek again, nor would she be easy until she plucked a curl from my brow, and it threw up a lusty flame when she cast it on the burning log. Then she moaned for my beast, and he, poor palfrey, has lived five months of his allotted time. I look forward with grief to the hour of our parting; but die he must at the year's endthat's fated. We played at shord and pancake last Shrovetide, Ally was lady of the door, and caught me as I was dropping my bit of crockery on the threshold. Nevertheless she did not black my cheeks with the frying pan, as by the law of custom she was entitled to do, but gave me a kiss and a cake, as if I had succeeded in laying down my shord, and escaping without detection. In fact, we are now as fond as two turtles, and to-morrow Alice will be made the bride of the roving waddler. Long may she live to vex the eye of his worship by her beauty, and to cheer my heart by her loving tones! My cot by Exmoor is fitted for her reception, and I shall hereafter limit my wanderings to a day's tramp; but never while I am able, and she is willing, will I discontinue my profitable and merry occupation of gathering ashes for the soap folks. The hill-side shall still ring with my song-the metal be fashioned in my moulder-the wood-ash darken these the robes of my good old father-and young and old from village and homestead, crowd forth to greet and employ their boon-friend, their comforter, and champion,-Bishop Blaise, the ash-waddler."

A.

ANGLO-GALLIC SONG.

The Exposition at the Louvre.

BEHOLD how each Gallic improver, in science, mechanics, and arts,

As he roams the Bazaar of the Louvre, snuffs, shrugs up his shoulders, and

starts;

Mon Dieu!-c'est superbe-magnifique !-les Anglois eux-mêmes diront cela—
O Ciel! comme c'est charmant-unique!-L'Angleterre est mise hors de combat-
And its oh! what will become of her? Dear! what will she do?
England has no manufactures to rival the wonders we view.

Here is a patent marmite pour perfectionner pumpion soup-
The Gods on Olympus complete-tout en sucre-a classical group;
Quatre flacons de produits chimiques-a clarified waxen bougie,
A Niobe after the Greek, and the Grotto of Pan-en bisquit.
And its oh! &c.

Voilà des chapeaux sanitaires with a jalousie cut in the hold,

To let in a current of air, and give hot-headed people a cold;

Six irons with which boots are heel'd, so no modern Achilles miscarries,

For he now gets his tendon and shield where the Greek got an arrow-from

Paris.

And its oh! &c.

A ham and a head of wild boar in a permanent jelly suspended,

Cinq modèles de chaises inodores pour un cabinet d'aisance intended;

The elixir term'd odontalgique, which can stubbornest tooth-aches control,

Et les poupées parlantes which can squeak "papa! and mamma!"-comme c'est drole!

And its oh! &c.

For heads without ringlets or laurel, Regnier fashions wigs like a wreath,
While Desirabode cuts out of coral false gums and unperishing teeth;

Here's a lady in wax large as life, with all the blonde lace she can stick to,
And an actual Paris-made knife which will cut-O mirabile dictu!

And its oh! &c.

A gross of green spectacles-nails-a stick of diaphanous wax,

A Faunus-one Pan and two pails-account-books with springs in their backs;
A spit, wheel, and flyer, all forged in France, with a jack-chain complete ;
A bladder with eatables gorged-a portrait of Louis Dixhuit.

And its oh! &c.

Pour vous dire en detail toutes les choses there's no time, so we 'll lump as we

pass,

Caps, corkscrews, cheese, cucumbers, clothes; glue, gingerbread, ginghams, and

glass;

Pianos, pipes, pipkins, pots, pattens; rouge, rat-traps, rings, ratafie, rice,

Salt, sofas, shawls, sugar-loaves, satins; dolls, dredgers, delf, dimity, dice.
And its oh! &c.

Through the fifty-two rooms on a floor, now you 've seen all the sights in your

tour,

Et si vous en voulez encore vous les verrez là bas, dans la cour;—
Oui, pour leur commerce de la mer, c'est fini―enfin, c'en est fait,
Et la Grande Nation, il est clair, a ecrasé les pauvres Anglois.
And its oh! what will become of her? Dear, what will she do?
England has no manufactures to rival the wonders we view.

H.

THE PHYSICIAN.-NO. XI.

Of the Nature and Dietetic Use of Water.

WATER-DRINKERS imagine that they are drinking a perfectly pure element; but the enquiries and experiments of natural philosophers have demonstrated, that every drop of water is a world in miniature, in which all the four elements and all the three kingdoms of Nature are combined. Woodward, who took particular pains to examine our English waters, found none of them free from extraneous matters. Boerhaave called the water which the clouds send down to us the ley of the atmosphere, because it is intermixed with so many foreign matters which it envelopes in its descent through the air: nay the very water that has been purified by art still contains a large proportion of such matters. Distill, or filter water as often as you please, and it will nevertheless in time turn putrid in the sun, and by its bubbles, scum, sediment, and taste, afford evidence of its impurity.

Let not the reader suppose that I deal in exaggeration, when I term every drop of water a world in miniature, a compound of all the four elements, and all the three kingdoms of Nature: for I can prove the accuracy of this definition in every point.

Besides water itself, as the primary element, all water contains a variety of earthy particles. Pure water, when distilled, yields an earth; and Boyle found, that after it had been distilled two hundred times, it still contained this kind of matter. We know from experiments, that a tea-spoonful of water, ground in the cleanest glass mortar, becomes turbid in a few minutes, and in half an hour quite thick, and as it were a solid body. Pott conjectured that this earth proceeded from the friction of the glass, because he found that it was vitrified by a high degree of heat this notion, however, is refuted by Eller; and not only did Wallerius find the earth of water ground in mortars of iron or other metals of precisely the same nature as that from glass-mortars; but the presence of earth in water may be proved by other experiments, to which this objection of the friction of the glass will not apply. A few drops of oil of tartar dropped into water, will instantly detect its earthy particles. Woodward says, that we need only let water stand a few days in a clean closely-covered glass, and abundance of earthy particles will not fail to appear. If we, moreover, consider how much earthy matter water every where meets with in the air and in the ground, which it partly takes up and carries away with it, and partly dissolves, we cannot for a moment doubt its presence in water. In the ancient Roman aqueducts were deposited thick incrustations of tuff-stone or marble-dust, which in time became quite solid and I shrewdly suspect that there are very few tea-kettles in constant use in our immense metropolis, but exhibit the same phenomenon. In short, all rain, river, and spring-water, if left to stand any time, deposits an earthy sediment.

Among the earthy matters in water, I include every thing that belongs to the mineral kingdom: a calcareous earth, a selenitic matter, nay even real iron are found in it. Water contains also several species of salts. In rain and snow-water we discover an acid, arising from common salt and nitre. Pliny, of old, regarded snow-water as more

VOL. VI. No. 36.-1823.

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