Und. [Aside, R.] There's management-he'll dohe'll do. Apr. More vexation !-Shame, girl-in the arms of a stranger! Und. He is my nephew-will be my heir-and he is a very clever fellow. [Rostrum nods, L. C. Apr. He has a queer way of showing it. Und. A tolerable well-looking man, is he not? Und. He has an excellent heart. Apr. I don't know. Und Do you think I would deceive you? Apr. I can't say-you may be all alike-my grandson has ruin'd my fortune-Greville has ruined my happiness, and, perhaps, I may find him a coxcomb-my Rose ungrateful-and you a scoundrel-so I'll to the country again, and, in the meantime, my dear, [Crosses and takes Rose from R. c. to L.] you shall see as much of this virtuous town as you possibly can, out of a two pair of stairs window. [Rose and Rostrum kiss their hands to each other— Exeunt April and Rose, L. Und. You are a clever fellow-an exceeding clever fellow. I say, how did you manage to win her so soon? Ros. I don't know-I believe I have an odd agreeable tickling way with me. Did you never see me coax the ladies to bid at my auctions?-Adieu, uncle— Und. Come back, sir-I can't part with you.-This match, with management, I conclude, is as good as settled. Ros. Exactly. Und. Very well-now you must get a mistress-- Und. A mistress, you rascal; do you blush? Ros. I blush!-Sir, I blush to think, that you should think, that I should think of blushing. [Fanning himself with his hat.] Only getting a mistress, when a man is going to be married Und. Well, sir. Ros. I can only say the necessity of it does not strike me. Und. Necessity !—I tell you it is the etiquette. Rus. Oh! the etiquette, is it? Und. Now for my grand attack on Greville. [Crosses to L.] Follow me, sir. [Exit, L. Ros. This will never do for me. Oh! I foresee a D dissolution of partnership here-but he's a relationwhat then-am I therefore to sacrifice principle to duty? -no-I remember our school adage was "Amicus Pluto, sed magis amica veritas ;" which I thus interpret-Undermine is my uncle, but integrity is my father. [Exit, L. END OF ACT III. ACT IV. SCENE I.-A Library in Greville's House. Footman introduces UNDERMINE and ROSTRUM, L. Und. Tell your master I wait for him Foot. My master is from home-I will acquaint my mistress with your arrival Und. A noble mansion, is not it? [Exit, R. Ros. A charming tenement, indeed. What is the ground-rent? Und. How should I know? Here she comes. What think you of this incumbrance with it, eh? Is she not beautiful. Ros. Very; but she seems unhappy. Und. 'Tis the more incumbent in you, then, to endeavour to make her otherwise Enter Footman, R. Foot. My mistress. [Crosses, and exit, L. Enter MRS. GREVILLE, R. Mrs. G. (R.) Gentlemen, expect Mr. Greville home every moment. Oh, would he were come! [Aside. Und. (c.) Madam, Mr. Rostrum, my nephew-now address ber. Ros. (L.) But she is in tears, sir. Und. What's that to you, sir? Tears! nonsense! is she not a mistress? Ros. Is she not a woman? Und. Come, let us have a specimen of the agreeable tickling way you were talking of. L Crosses to Mrs. Greville. Ros. [Approaching her.] What shall I say? Ma'am, what a capital room, ma'am, this would be for a sale. Mrs. G. [With surprise.] Very probably, sir. Und. (L.) S'death, is that your tickling way! Make love to her, you rascal. Ros. Yes, sir. Und. Be sprightly. Ros. Yes, sir. Und. Dance up to her, you dog. Ros. Yes, sir. [Addressing Mrs. Greville, in a melancholy tone.] You are the most charming creature Mrs. G. Sir! [Shrinking in the alarm. Enter GREVILLE. L. Oh, I am glad you are returned. Gre. [Crosses to Mrs. Greville.] What is the matter? Mrs. G. Nothing. Gre. No insult has been offered ? Mrs. G. No-I am so timid—indeed, quite childish ; out, oh! I have a tale to tell you, Charles. Yet that wretch shall not triumph in our agitation. No-until he is gone I am calm. Gre. Matchless girl! Come, sir, despatch. Und. My nephew, sir. [Greville bows.] If I can but put him off his guard.-Now is your time. [To Rostrum. [Greville, R., and Undermine, L., sit at a table, with their eyes fixed on Rostrum, who addresses Mrs. Greville in dumb show.-She appears distressed at his attentions. Und. These, sir, are the ready-money securities : bonds to the amount of five thousand pounds. [Greville snatching the papers, and eagerly returning to his observation.] Bravo! [Eyeing Rostrum und Mrs. Greville.] These are exchequer bills-that is an India bond. Gre. [Quitting his chair, and running to his wife.] I cannot bear it. "Tis torture insupportable? I will declare thy innocence.-Poverty, death, I can endure; but not thy tears, Maria. Mr. Undermine Mrs. G. Hold-Greville ! Enter SALLY, L. Sal. Stand aside; here comes somebody will soon tell who is who. I'll get out of the way. [Exit, R. Enter EGERTON, L. Ege. Who answers to the name of Greville? Gre. (c.) I do. Ege. Give me your hand. Gre. What do you mean? Ege. [Seizing his hand.] The gripe of everlasting friendship-for 'tis death must part us. lain. You are a vil [Presents pistol-Greville snatches one-Mrs. Greville Und. (L.) Her husband. [Throws away his pistol. [Pauses. [Mrs. Greville pauses. Gre. Yes; spite of the poverty that name entails on me, spite of impending ruin, my heart triumphantly exults in proclaiming her my loved, my honoured wife! [Kneeling to her.] By my soul, Maria, I would not raise another blush upon that angel cheek to purchase the world's dominion. Und. Then the estate is mine. Strut, you dog. Ros. (L. C.) I do, sir. [To Rostrum. [Reluctantly. Ege. My darling sister! my pride! let me now hold thee to my heart with rapture. [Puts his handkerchief to his eyes. Und. (L.) Tears from a soldier ! [Sneeringly. Ege. Unfeeling man! Did not tears of joy start from me at beholding beauty and innocence restored to their native lustre, I were unworthy of the name of soldier. And, sir, it may be prudent for you to remember, that a soldier's heart is like his sword, formed of tempered steel: for, while it bends with sympathizing pity to the touch of woe, it can resume its springing energy to punish arrogance or crush oppression. Ros. Strut, uncle ! Und. No, no-a little is very well. It would not be feeling. When will it be convenient, Mr. Greville, to give possession? Gre. Immediately. [With spirit. Und. I say I'll triumph by and by-at present we'll go home, snug and quiet. Ten thousand a year; here is management, you dog! [Exit, L. Ege. [To Rostrum, who is following.] Sir, allow me with gratitude to return this purse. You will find that I have greatly benefitted by your generosity. Ros. Nay, don't. Ege. I insist, sir. Ros. Conceited fellow! but I must away, to inquire for Sweet Willie O. Gre. Come, Mr. Egerton. Ros. [Turning round.] Egerton! did I hear rightly? Sir, one word, if you please. Will you take this purse again? Ege. No, sir. Ros. You won't! we'll see that. Have you forgot a lady called Rose Sydney? Ege. Have I forgot her? [Sighing. Ros. I have just parted from her, and she said-will you take this purse? Ege. Excuse me-but tell me— Ros. She said-you had better take it, or the devil a word will you get out of me. Ege. Well, well. [Takes it. Ros. Now you are an honest fellow again-she loves you sincerely-and if you will meet me in an hour in Berkley Square, she shall tell you so. Ege. Don't trifle with my feelings. Ros. By Heaven, I am serious. You shall have a kiss, and I'll have another. And I say-bring a parson with you. Ege. I don't know any. Who will introduce me? Ros. Who will introduce you to a parson? Look at your friend in your right hand, my dear fellow-he is gentleman usher to all mankind, in court or in city.-In public, he will escort you to a great man in his state-chamber, or in private to a pretty woman in her bed-chamber. [Exit, L. Mrs. G. You are not happy, Greville. Gre. Yes, Maria; though bereft of fortune, though a prison open its gates to receive us, yet, blessed with thy love, and my heart's approbation, I feel that I am happy. Accept my homage. Oh, celestial virtue! Nature's sweet nurse! 'tis thou alone can pour a healing balm |
