Apr. [Examining the will.] Sole heir, without reservation or restriction; huzza! Nic. Sir, honourable sir, will you allow me to ask you one small favour? Apr. What is it? Nic. Only to delay mentioning this [Sighing] joyful discovery for a few moments. My master and I have a little account to settle, and I should like just to strike a balance before he knows what has happened. Apr. Oh, I understand-we have bled you, and now you want to go and bleed him. Nic. Just a little, sir. Apr. With all my heart, old Nick. Devil claw devil. Nic. O, thank you, sir. Apr. But despatch Nic. I fly, sir. [Exit, hobbling, L. Apr. Now with heels as light as our hearts we'll away to Greville's. Ple. Stop-stop for me, grandfather. Apr. I beg your pardon, old one. arm-let your grandfather assist you. I quite forgot you. Here, take my Upon my soul, [Exeunt, L. SCENE III.-An elegant Drawing-Room in Greville's House, illuminated.-A band of music playing.—A number of Servants dressed in splendid liveries. Enter UNDERMINE, R., in great elation, joining the music in" See the Conquering Hero," &c. Und. Approach! is Greville gone? Ser. Not yet, sir. Und. Any of my guests arrived ? Ser. No, sir. Und. Has the Traiteur furnished a splendid entertainment? Ser. Yes, sir. Und. Let music usher in the guests. [Music plays. Enter APRIL, L., singing, "See the Conquering Hero," &c., flourishing the will in his hand-seeing Undermine, he conceals it. Und. Zounds! he here. [To the Servant.] Don't go away, sir. [Places the Servant between him and April. Apr. How do do? you Und. How do you do? [With alarm. Apr. I have overcome my passion, and thought better. Und. Oh, very well-then 'tis all over. Apr. Yes. Und. [To the Servant.] You impudent rascal, how dare you stand between me and my friend? Begone, you scoundrel. [Servant goes up, R.] I thought you would see the absurdity of my supporting Greville. Apr. Oh yes; it would have been quite out of cha racter. Music plays.-ROSTRUM, from the top of Stage, singing, "See the Conquering Hero," &c., enters, leading in EGERTON and ROSE SYDNEY. Apr. (c.) Heyday! my ward here! why, girl-? [Goes up to her, and they converse in dumb show. Und. [To Rostrum.] Come here come here-give me your hand, you dog-I suppose 'tis all settled. Ros. It is the wedding's over. Und. I say, what will that old fool April say, der? Ros. We shall hear. I won Apr. [To Miss Sydney.] I understand. Mr. Undermine, have you given our ward permission to marry? Und. To be sure I have. Apr. If that be the case, my dear, you have mine. Und. He thank me! what has he to do with it! Oh! I forgot, he helped you to this delicious morsel. Ros. No, he did not; he helped himself-and, what is more, persuaded a parson to say grace. Und. Egerton her husband! Did not I order you to marry her? Did not I bid Ros. You did bid, sir; but honour bid more. Apr. I give you joy, my girl. You have chosen a noble fellow. Und. Well, and I give her joy, for she has chosen a beggar. Ros. On that point I beg to be heard. You remember you gave me a key-here it is. Und. Well, sir? Ros. It belonged, ladies and gentlemen, to an escrioir, with a secretary drawer. Pannels richly fineered -scroll pediment head-bracket feet-the whole finished in a workmanlike manner, and well worth the attention Und. At the auctioneer again. Zounds! you are so fond of it, I dare say you would sell me. Ros. Sir, I would knock you down with all the pleasure in life. Und. But what of the key? the key Ros. The key certainly opened the drawer you mentioned; and it as certainly opened a drawer you did not mention. Und. What? Ros. Be quiet. There I found a parcel of papers and title-deeds, which you must have put there entirely by mistake, my dear sir, because I perceived they belonged to Mr. Egerton. Und. Give them to me directly, directly-I say, sir, restore Ros. Every thing to its right owner. Certainly—I don't wish to keep your, or any man's property-so, Egerton, there are your papers again—and, uncle, there is your key again. Apr. Ha, ha! Ege. What disinterested integrity! Und. What damned rascality! Ros. Oh fie! no, no. Und. What is it, then? Ros. Management. Und. Well, you have managed finely for yourself, however I discard you. Had you followed my instructions, you would have been exalted Ros. To the pillory, I suppose.-No, sir-though you don't scruple it to others, far be it from me to rob you of your natural inheritance. Und. I would have left you all I am worth. Ros. What then? You forgot all you are worth belongs to other people. When you were gone, they would naturally ask me for their own, and how could I have the face to refuse them? Apr. Give me your hand. nobly, and now 'tis my turn. Und. All this I laugh at. Greville estate? Who has subject? You have acted your part Am I not possessed of the any thing to say on that Apr. I believe I shall trouble you with a word or two, Und. I see Greville is about to depart, and I must beg you will all follow his example. Enter MR. and MRS. GREVILLE, R., SALLY following, with a small bundle, and weeping. Ege. (L. c.) My best friends, allow me to present to you a sister. By this gentleman's kindness, Maria, happiness again dawns upon us. Apr. (c.) [Aside.] And 1 will make it blaze with meridian splendour. Gre. (R. C.) Let us then leave this man to the full enjoyment of such reflections as his conscience may administer. Apr. I beg your pardon a moment. Umph! Mr. Undermine, I hear doubts have arisen respecting the authenticity of the late Mr. Greville's signature. Und. (R.) [With a confident smile.] Indeed!-Sir, to show my fairness, I'll leave this point to your decision. [Showing the will. Apr. 'Tis genuine, it must be confessed. Und. Must it so ? Apr. Any objection to my reading it? Apr. Perhaps it may tire you? Und. By no means: I think it remarkably entertaining. Apr. [Substituting the second will, reads,] "I, Robert Greville, do declare this my last will.-To my only son, Charles Greville, I give and bequeath my forgiveness and my blessing, together with all my estates, real and personal."-Umph! that is very entertaining. Und. Very-but I prefer the remainder-" Provided my said son"-go on-go on. Apr. What do you say? Und. Psha!" Provided my said son has not contracted"-why don't you go on? Apr. I don't see any thing like it. Und. You don't, ha, ha! give me leave to direct your attention. [Looks at the will, drops his hat and cane, and groans deeply. Gre. What does this mean? Apr. Mean! That my young master, my friend, my dear Charles, is happy-that my old master is in heaven, and that I am in heaven; two wills were made by the last, which he endeavoured to suppress, you are sole heir, without reservation. Mrs. G. Is it possible! Gre. How shall I express my gratitude for this discovery ?-for giving happiness to my Maria? Sal. And to me, too. Oh, you are a nice old man. Und. He must have dealt with Apr. Old Nick. You are right-I did—and here he comes. Enter NICHOLAS, L. Und. Ah, Nicholas, Nicholas ! Und. A dreadful affair this! Nic. Very shocking indeed, sir. Und. Eh-zounds! I have given him a draft for a thousand pounds. [Coaxingly.] Nicholas-[Crosses to middle.] Come here, Nicholas. I am not angry. My consolation is, what's done can't be undone. you a draft I gave Nic. You did, sir. And my consolation is, what's done can't be undone. Und. Indeed! but it will be of no use. 1 have no cash at my banker's. Nic. Dear sir, what credit you have! They paid it without a word. Und. [Eagerly.] You have not been Nic. Yes, sir-I just contrived to hobble there. Und. You infernal! [Gulping down his passion.] Old friends should not quarrel, Nicholas; suppose we go home, and talk it over agreeably. I'll propose something reasonable. Nic. It must be very reasonable. [Bowing. Ros. (c.) What, bowing! You forget, sir, your own lessons. Be erect, and I'll tell you how you may be so ; -become an honest man, and, on my life, that will make you hold up your head more gallantly than the first dancing-master in Europe can. Und. Indeed! Nic. You had better stick to management! Und. Management !-Oh, I have had enough of that. [Exeunt Undermine and Nicholas, L. Apr. Now, being all as happy as heart can wish, come along with me, Sally. Good by to you |
