A college joke to cure the dumps.

Cassinus and Peter.

'T is an old maxim in the schools,
That flattery's the food of fools;
Yet now and then your men of wit
Will condescend to take a bit.

Cadenus and Vanessa.

And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together. Gulliver's Travels. Pt. ii. Ch. vii. Voyage to Brobdingnag.

He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. Ibid. Pt. iii. Ch. v. Voyage to Laputa.

Seamen have a custom, when they meet a whale, to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement, to divert him from laying violent hands upon the ship.1 Tale of a Tub, Preface.

1 In Sebastian Munster's Cosmography, there is a cut of a ship, to which a whale was coming too close for her safety, and of the sailors throwing a tub to the whale evidently to play with. This practice is also mentioned in an old prose translation of the Ship of Fools. Sir James Mackintosh, Appendix to the Life of Sir Thomas More.

Bread is the staff of life.1

Tale of a Tub.

The reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.

Thoughts on Various Subjects.

Censure is the tax a man pays to the public

for being eminent.

A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.

Ibid.

Ibid.

The two noblest things, which are sweetness and light. Battle of the Books. Not die here in a rage like a poisoned rat in a hole. Letter to Bolingbroke, March 21, 1729.

I shall be like that tree, I shall die at the top. Scott's Life of Swift?

ALAIN RENÉ LE SAGE.

1668-1747.

I wish you all sorts of prosperity with a little.

more taste.

Gil Blas. Book vii. Ch. 4.

1 See Mathew Henry, ante, p. 247.

2 When the poem of "Cadenus and Vanessa " was the general topic of conversation, some one said, "Surely that Vanessa must be an extraordinary woman, that could inspire the Dean to write so finely upon her." Mrs. Johnson smiled and answered, that "she thought that point not quite so clear, for it was well known the Dean could write finely upon a broomstick."-Johnson's Life of Swift.

COLLEY CIBBER. 1671-1757.

So mourned the dame of Ephesus her love;
And thus the soldier, armed with resolution,
Told his soft tale, and was a thriving wooer.

Richard III. Altered. Act ii. Sc. 1.

Now by St. Paul the work goes bravely on.

Act iii. Sc. I.

The aspiring youth that fired the Ephesian dome Outlives in fame the pious fool that raised it.1

I've lately had two spiders

Act iii. Sc. I.

Crawling upon my startled hopes.

Now tho' thy friendly hand has brushed 'em from

me,

Yet still they crawl offensive to my eyes;

I would have some kind friend to tread upon 'em.

Act iv. Sc. 3.

Off with his head! so much for Buckingham!

Act iv. Sc. 3.

And the ripe harvest of the new-mown hay
Gives it a sweet and wholesome odour.

Act v. Sc. 3.

With clink of hammers closing rivets up.

Act v. Sc. 3.

1 Herostratus lives that burnt the temple of Diana, he is almost lost that built it. — Sir Thomas Browne, Urn Burial, Ch. v.

2 With busy hammers. — Shakespeare, Henry V., Act iv. Chorus.

264

Cibber.- Centlivre. - Steele.

[Richard III. continued.

Perish that thought! No, never be it said
That Fate itself could awe the soul of Richard.
Hence, babbling dreams; you threaten here in
vain ;

Conscience, avaunt, Richard's himself again!
Hark! the shrill trumpet sounds, to horse, away,
My soul's in arms, and eager for the fray.
Act v. Sc. 3.

A weak invention of the enemy.1

Act v. Sc. 3.

SUSANNAH CENTLIVRE. 1667-1723.

The real Simon Pure.

A Bold Stroke for a Wife. Act v. Sc. 1.

Lash the vice and follies of the age.

Prologue to the Maid Bewitched.

SIR RICHARD STEELE.

1671-1729.

(Lady Elizabeth Hastings.) Though her mien carries much more invitation than command, to behold her is an immediate check to loose behavior; to love her was a liberal education. The Tatler. No. 49.

Will Honeycomb calls these over-offended ladies the outrageously virtuous.

The Spectator. No. 266.

1 A thing devised by the enemy. - Shakespeare, Rich

ard III., Act v. Sc. 3.

JOSEPH ADDISON. 1672 - 1719. The dawn is overcast, the morning lowers, And heavily in clouds brings on the day,

The great, the important day, big with the fate Of Cato, and of Rome.

Cato. Acti. Sc. I.

Thy steady temper, Portius,

Can look on guilt, rebellion, fraud, and Cæsar, In the calm lights of mild philosophy.

Act i. Sc. I.

'Tis not in mortals to command success, But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve

it.

Act i. Sc. 2.

Blesses his stars and thinks it luxury.

Act i. Sc. 4.

'T is pride, rank pride, and haughtiness of soul;

I think the Romans call it stoicism.

Act i. Sc. 4.

Were you with these, my prince, you'd soon forget The pale, unripened beauties of the north.

Act i. Sc. 4.

Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense. The virtuous Marcia towers above her sex. Act i. Sc. 4.

My voice is still for war.

Gods! can a Roman senate long debate

Which of the two to choose, slavery or death?

Act ii. Sc. I.

A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty
Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.

The woman that deliberates is lost.

Act ii. Sc. I.

Act iv. Sc. I.