company us; it is not in France I am to hope for your reformation. I have now learn'd, that he who tranfports a profligate fon to Paris, by way of mending his manners, only adds the vices and follies of that country to those of his own.

EPILOGU E.

Spoken by LUCINDA.

ESCAP'D from my guardian's tyrannical sway,
By a fortunate voyage on a profperous day,
I am landed in England; and now muft endeavour,
By fome means or other, to curry your favour.

Of what ufe to be freed from a Gallic fubjection,
Unless I'm fecure of a British protection?

Without cafe but one friend—and he too juft made;
Egad, I've a mind to fet up fome trade:

Of what fort? In the papers I'll publifh a puff,
Which won't fail to procure me cuftom enough;
"That a lady from Paris is lately arriv d
"Who with exquifite art bas nicely contriv'd

"The best paint for the face-the beft pafte for the bands;
A water for freckles, for flufhings, and tans.

"She can teach you the melior coeffeure for the head, "To lifp-amble and fimper—and put on the red: 66 To rival, to rally, to backbite, and sneer,

Um-no; that they already know pretty well here. "The beaux fbe inftructs to bow with a grace,

"The happiest forug-the newest grimace;

"To parler François-fib, flatter, and dance;

"Which is very near all that they teach ye in France.

"Not a buck nor a blood, through the whole English nation。.

"But bis roughness fbe'll soften, his figure she'll fashion.

"The merrieft John Trot in a week you fall zce "Bien poli, bien frizé, tout-à-fait un marquis."

What d'ye think of my plan, is it form'd to your gout?
May I hope for difciples in any of you?

Shall I tell you my thoughts, without guile, without art?
Though abroad I've been led, I bave Britain at heart..
Then take this advice, which I give for her fake,
You'll gain nothing by any exchange you can make:
In a country of commerce, too great the expence,
For their bauble and bows to give your good fenfe.

THE

La Jonquil, La Loire, Bearnois, and Servants.

PROLOGUE.

Spoken by Mr FOOTE.

F all the paffions that poffefs mankind,
The love of novelty rules moft the mind;

In fearch of this from realm to realm we roam
Our fleets come fraught with ev'ry fully bome.
From Lybia's defart hoftile brutes advance,
And dancing-dogs in droves fkip bere from France:
From Latian lands gigantic forms appear,
Striking our Britif breafts with arve and fear,
As once the Lilliputians- -Gulliver.
Not only objects that affect the fight,
In foreign arts and artifts we delight.

}

Near to that spot where Charles beftrides a horfe, (In bumble profe) the place is Charing-Cross, Clofe by the margin of a kennel's fide,

A dirty difmal entry opens wide:

There, with boarse voice, check'd shirt, and callous hand,
Duff's Indian English trader takes his ftand,
Surveys each paffenger with curious eyes,
And ruftic Roger falls an eafy prize:
Here's China porcelaine that Chelsea yields,
And India handkerchiefs from Spittalfields;
With Turkey carpets that from Wilton came,
And Spanish tucks and blades from Birmingham.
Factors are forc'd to favour this deceit,
And English goods are smuggled thro' the fireet.
The rude to polifb, and the fair to please,

The hero of to-night has crofs'd the feas;
Tho' to be born a Briton be his crime,
He's manufactur'd in another clime.

'Tis Buck begs leave once more to come before ye,

The little fubject of a former ftory:

How chang'd, bow fafbion'd, whether brute or beau,,

We trust the following scenes will fully fbow.
For them and him we your indulgence crave;

'Tis ours fill to fin, and yours to fave..

A

ACT I.

CRAB difcovered reading.

ND I do conftitute my very good friend Giles Crab, Efq; of St Martin's in the Fields, exe"cutor to this my will; and do appoint him guardian "to my ward Lucinda; and do fubmit to his direction "the management of all my affairs till the return of my "fon from his travels; whom I do intreat my faid exe"cutor, in confideration of our ancient friendship, to "advise, to counsel, &c. &c. JOHN BUCK."

A good, pretty legacy! Let's fee; I find myfelf heir by this generous devife of my very good friend, to ten actions at common law, nine fuits in chancery; the conduct of a boy, bred a booby at home, and finished a fop abroad; together with the direction of a marriageable, and therefore an unmanageable, wench; and all this to an old fellow of fixty-fix, who heartily hates bus'nefs, is

tired of the world, and defpifes every thing in it. Why, how the devil came I to merit-

in.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Mr Latitat of Staple's Inn.

Crab. So, here begin my plagues. Show the hound

Enter Latitat, with a bag, &c.

Lat. I wou'd, Mr Crab, have attended your fummons immediately; but I was obliged to fign judgment in error at the common-pleas; fue out of the exchequer a writ of que minus; and furrender in banco regis the defendant, before the return of the fci fa, to discharge the

bail.

Crab. Pr'ythee, man, none of thy unintelligible lawjargon to me; but tell me, in the language of common fenfe and thy country, what I am to do.

Lat. Why, Mr Crab, as you are already poffefs'd of probat, and letters of administration de bonis are granted, you may fue or be fued. I hold it found doctrine for no executor to discharge debts without a receipt upon record; this can be obtained by no means but by an action. Now actions, Sir, are of various kinds: There are fpecial actions; actions on the cafe, or affumpfits ;' actions of trover; actions of claufum fregit;' actions of battery; actions of

Crab. Hey, the devil, where's the fellow running now? -But hark'ee, Latitat, why I thought all our law-pro ceedings were directed to be in English.

Lat. True, Mr Crab.

Crab. And what do you call all this stuff, ha?
Lat. English.

Crab. The devil you do.

Lat. Vernacular, upon my honour, Mr Crab. For as Lord Coke defcribes the common law to be the per fection

Crab. So, here's a fresh deluge of impertinence.A truce to thy authorities, I beg; and as I find it will be impoffible to understand thee without an interpreter, if you will meet me at five, at Mr Brief's chambers, why, f you have any thing to fay, he will translate it for

me.

Lat. Mr Brief, Sir, and tranflate, Sir!-Sir, I would

have you to know, that no practitioner in Weftminsterhall gives clearer

Crab. Sir, I believe it; for which reafon I have referred you to a man who never goes into Westminsterhall.

• Lat. A bad proof of his practice, Mr Crab.

• Crab. A good one of his principles, Mr Latitat." Lat. Why, Sir, do you think that a lawyer

Crab. Zounds, Sir! I never thought about a lawyerThe law is an oracular idol, you are the explanatory minifters; nor should any of my own private concerns have made me bow to your beaftly Baal. I had rather lofe a caufe than conteft it. And had not this old doating dunce, Sir John Buck, plagu'd me with the management of his money, and the care of his booby boy, bedlam fhou'd fooner have had me than the bar.

Lat. Bedlam, the bar! Since, Sir, I am provok'd, I don't know what your choice may be, or what your friends may choofe for you; I wish I was your prochain ami :But I am under fome doubts as to the fanity of the teftator, otherwise he could not have chofen for his executor, under the fanction of the law, a perfon who defpifes the law. And the law, give me leave to tell you, Mr Crab, is the bulwark, the fence, the protection, the fine qua non, the non plus ultra

Crab. Mercy, good fix-and-eight pence.

Lat. The defence, and offence, the by which, and the whereby, the ftatute common and cuftomary; or, as Plowden claffically and elegantly expreffes it, 'tis • Mos commune vetus mores, confulta fenatus, Hæc tria jus ftatuunt terra Britanna tibi. Crab. Zounds, Sir, among all your laws, are there none to protect a man in his own house?

'Lat. Sir, a man's house is his caftellum, his caftle; ⚫ and fo tender is the law of any infringement of that facred right, that any attempt to invade it by force, fraud or violence, clandeftinely, or vi et armis, is not only deem'd felonius but burglarius. Now, Sir, a burglary may be committed, either upon the dwelling, or 4the out-house.

Crab. O lud! O lud!

Enter