March 9, 17

THE failure of what was promifed me as a fupport till my affairs were fettled, and which I depended upon, but which was again put a stop to by Comte Haflang's relapse, still left me involved. I immediately leffened my expence, and removed to a cheap lodging, which I had formerly occupied, till I could afford a better fituation.

In order to exonerate myfelf from debt, I accepted of a propofal made me by Mr. Woodward's brother, of difpofing of the money in the three per cent, confols, the interest of which he was to receive for his life. What made his propofal feem the more eligible, was, that Mr. Willet had repeatedly affured us, that if we filed an amicable bill for this purpofe, he would by no means oppose it.

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We accordingly brought the request before the Barons of the Exchequer; and as we concluded there would be no oppofition from the executor's attorney, we did not retain counfel to fhew caufe, and fet forth the reafons of our petition. But, tothe perfect amazement of the folicitor employed

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by Mr. Woodward and myfelf, Mr. Willet ufed every argument in his power to prevent the bill from paffing. He affured the court, that the petition was contrary to the letter and intent of the will; which was meant to tie me up, fo as to prevent me from parting with the leaft tittle of what was bequeathed me, as the teftator wifhed to guard against my extravagance, of which he had the greatest apprehenfions. Upon this the bill

was difmiffed.

What could occafion fuch an alteration în Mr. Willet's fentiments, and excite him to fuch a wanton piece of cruelty, I am at a lofs to determine; unless it was the fear of being obliged to come to a regular account, which it feems our folicitor had at the fame time prayed for, and he must have submitted to, had our petition been granted; or else that he might have the pleasure of expending a little more of the money which was bequeathed me, upon another law-fuit, to his own emolument. But this was of a piece with the rest of his conduct; and will, I truft, meet, ere long, with the cenfure it deferves. The confequences of this unexpected disappointment were, that I became more deeply involved, and was obliged in my turn to disappoint several

I was indebted to. For fo certain was I of meeting with no obftruction to the fuit, that I had promised to pay feveral fums I had been neceffitated to obtain credit for.

From these accumulated circumstances, my diftrefs was become fo urgent, that notwithstanding the refolutions I had made, not to trouhle his excellency any more, I found myself obliged to apply again to Comte Haflang. The indelicacy of the measure, I acknowledge, hurt me much; as I had every reafon to fuppofe, the generofity of his excellency would have prevented any folicitation, had it been convenient; for nature had bleft him with the moft liberal fentiments, fuch, indeed, as often involved him in very great difficulties. And as I had no reason to doubt his friendship, after fuch repeated inftances of it as he had shown me, cruel neceffity could alone have forced me to obtrude my diftrefs again upon

him.

Friendship with women, is faid to be fifter to love. You may, therefore, or at least the world might, be induced to fuppofe it was a kind of friendship, which is fo nearly a-kin to love, that fubfifted between the Comte and myself. But it is my boaft, and upon reflection a fource of hap

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pinefs

pinefs to me, amidst the cenfures that have been paffed upon my conduct, that I have been blest with the difinterested friendship of fome of the most confpicuous and fhining characters which have appeared in the senate, the cabinet, the drawing-room, and the green-room.

And this enviable diftinction, I can only impute to my invariable fincerity and philanthropy ; together with my never affuming any fuperiority of understanding-a vanity that two many females are apt to indulge, when they happen to have tolerable talents joined to reading; and more particularly fo, if they are gifted with retention. By not laying claim to praise, every little fally of mine had ten times the effect it would have had, if I had fet myfelf up ether as a wit, or a woman of literature and understand

ing.

Pardon the feeming egotifm of this declaration; it does not, I affure you, proceed from vanity, but from a defire to convey to my fair country-women my ideas on this fubject.-They may be affured, that a modeft diffidence will give a luftre to their accomplishments, which the most oftentatious display of them cannot do.-The lefs pretentions our fex make to a fuperiority of ta

lents

lents and understanding, fo much the greater will be the refpect and admiration beftowed up. on them, by those who have the undoubted fuperiority.

The next day, being Sunday, I went to GoldenSquare,and had the infinite pleasure to see the Comte fo far recovered, as to be able to attend divine fervice in the chapel, where he had not been for fome months. After his Excellence returned from chapel, I had the happinefs of hearing from him, that his health was wholly reeftablished, and that he had not been fo well for the last thirty years. He then told me, that he propofed doing me the honour of a visit very foon, and defired I would fend my fervant, the Thursday following, for an answer to the application I had made to him. To which he was pleafed to add, that it gave him very great concern to have fuffered me to remind him of his promise.

I was most fincerely happy at the Comte's recovery, as I was not only attached to him by obligations, and a series of many years profeffed friendship, but had a very great personal refpect and regard for him. And I felt an additional fatisfaction upon this occafion, when I confidered,

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that