bereby required to refign and relinquish forthwith, under the forfeiture of

Provided always,and it is hereby enacted and declared, That the common council of the city of LONDON, in confideration of their fteady adherence to the principles of virtue, during a course of many years, and against the ftrongest temptations, may fill continue to act in their corporate and mafculine capacity, any influence or corruption, or any law or ftatute whatsoever to the contrary in any wife notwithstanding. Had this law taken place a little fooner, I am perfuaded that it would have redounded very much to the bonour of our nation, and might have proved of infinite advantage to the trade and commerce of it. I may venture to say, that no woman living could have borne the infults, and put up the inany affronts and indignities, which fome perfens, to the scandal of our fex, have fo tamely fubmitted to.-I am as pofitive, that in a female adminiftration, the convention would never have been heard of; and probably none of those treaties would have been made, which were calculated only to gain time; for it is well known that the Ladies love difpatch in all their affairs, and are great enemies to procraftination. The Queen of Spain herfelf, who is but a woman, (though I must do her the juftice to fay that he is a very high-mettled one) would never have been able, by all her intrigues and cunning, to impofe on her whole fex, however fhe hath on fome of the other; nor would the Ladies of this kingdom have fubmitted to a fearch, which they always look upon, when done by compulfion, to be base and difhonourable; especially in places, where no fearch ought to be allow'd.-War would long ago been proclaim'd; and not only proclaim'd, but immediately profecuted with the utmost vigour. Á body of marines, in the fhape of Seagaddeffes, would have been fent to the Havannah; and I make no doubt that we fhould have been, at this time, in full poffeffion of the island of Cuba.

Whatever apprehenfions we may have at prefent, with regard to France, I am convinc'd, that under a female admini

ftration we might fet them at defiance. A nation fam'd for gallantry and politerefs, like the French, would scarce be able to look an army of English beauties in the face, without defiring to furrender up their arms, and yielding themfelves an eafy conqueft to the victors. So that France muft even repeal their Salique law, and convert their government likewife into a female flate, if they will pretend, in fuch a fituation, to cope with us.

I likewife apprehend that this scheme must have an extreme good effect, by totally extinguishing the hopes of the Pretender, and all his adherents. It is impoffible for him to lay the least claim to any unalienable, hereditary, or indefeazable right, when the whole conftitution fhall have legally undergone fuch a total change; a revolution, I may venture to affert, more confiderable than the laft, as it will be an abfolute migration of power from one fex to the other.

When the Treafury, the Admiralty, the board of Trade, and all the other employments of the kingdom fhall fall, as the French call it, en quenouille, what housewifry may we not expect? The Ladies, like fo many new brooms, will no doubt fweep the offices clean, and by degrees purge thofe Augean ftables of their prefent filth and ordure. When our publick treasure fhall be placed in female hands, it will be in clean ones at leaft; I hope in fkilful ones too: and fince we have seen one man, who vaunted of the finking fund as his own child, prove a very unnatural father to it, I fhould be glad to fee it, for a time, under the care of a tender and nurfing mother.

Both houfes of p-t,when this fcheme takes place, being to be filled with petticoats, I would recommend it to the ingenious architect of the lower boufe (in cafe we are ever to have a new one) to build it upon fomething of a larger scale, in confideration of the hoops that are to enter into it. The council-table muft likewise admit of fome extenfion, on the fame account; as well as the two houses of convocation, fhould they ever be allow'd to fit again.

I

I rejoiced extremely upon hearing a motion made by a Noble Lord, fome days ago, for stopping up the chinks of that boufe. It was acknowledged by every one that the house of L-ds had been exceeding cold of late; that it was domus rimarum plena; and that a little more fire and warmth amongst them would not be amifs.

With a view therefore to my scheme, this motion for filling up the chinks will be of great ufe, by preventing, in the first place, all improper peep-holes; and confidering that wind rifing upwards must certainly be more inconvenient, as well as dangerous to the Ladies, who are fo little guarded against it.

To fill the lower boufe with proper reprefentatives, it will be neceffary that a clause or claufes be inserted in the bill, to transfer all right of election in the feveral counties, cities, and boroughs, to the respective wives of the freehold ers, freemen, and burgeffes, that they may chufe fuch Ladies as they judge proper for their reprefentatives; ftill referving to themselves, as conftituents, the power of inftructing them from time to time, as they fhall fee occafion. All Ladies offering their services, or standing for any of the before mentioned places, are to have full liberty allowed them of applying to the husband of the voter for his intereft in his wife, in the fame manner as the members now do to the wives, for the votes of their bufbands: Provided always that no money be given.

It will be abfolutely neceffary, before the female pt meets, to appoint a committee to examine and revife the Standing orders of the house, with power to vary from, or make fuch alterations therein, as the cafe may require. I know there is one order, which I am of opinion may be of fingular utility; and I have fometimes, on proper occafions, heard it pronounced from the chair, with great dignity and authority; I mean that which fays, no member fhall be fuffered to fpeak more than once in any debate; and fince this is to be a female affembly, it may not be improper to fubjoin, that no more than

two or three Ladies at most shall be fuffered to speak át a time; for as they are now to meet in a folemn manner, I cannot be fo complaifant as to allow them to speak all together.

As for the upper house, which will be made up generally of the Ladies of the prefent poffeffors of it, excepting fuch as are to be chofen by election, (who fhall not be nominated by any one perfon whatfoever, no clofet or pocket lift being to be allowed) it is to have the fame powers and privileges as at prefent, especially with regard to appeals; and I hope no man can have fo little good breeding to the Ladies, as to fancy that it will not be filled with perfons of as much fenfe, virtue, knowledge and literature, as it is at prefent.

I must confefs that it may, at first fight, look a little odd to fee fix and twenty venerable matrons, with lawnfleeves on their arms, and trencher-caps on their heads; but this, perhaps, may be amply made up by a stricter attendance on the duties of their diocefes, and at least as confcientious a conduct in the house of Ladies, no tranflations being to be allow'd on any pretence whatsoever. I am inclin'd to think that, during the feminine hierarchy, the diocefs of every. Bishop, which at prefent goes under a male denomination, fhould from henceforth be ftiled only by the name of the Bishop's fee, ftrictly forbidding the inferior fhe-clergy to write fee with a fingle letter, through falfe orthography, or for brevity's fake.

I likewife apprehend, that some great advantages might accrue to our religion from this feminine difpenfation. Controverfies, with regard to myfteries, may not probably be fo frequent, nor fmoaking and drinking be altogether fo much practifed by the female clergy.

As a ftagnation, or interruption of bufinefs, might arife both in church and fate, if her Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Lady Chancellor, the Prefident of the council, the Speaker of the house of Commons, or any of the Jud ges, &c. fhould happen to be with child, and near her time, I would propose that a proper deputy, or deputies, fhould be

ap

we need not go fo far back; we have a living proof of it among the debauch'd favages of America, where the arts of living have made little progrefs, and who still enjoy, in a great measure, what the poets call the golden age.

But in the Eaft, where Knowledge took its rife, Luxury rofe with it. Not fatisfied with removing pain, men foon grew covetous of enlarging and multiplying their pleasures: Whence, from gratifying their fenfes, they paffed on to the imagination, and it became as neceffary to find food for that, as the appetites infeparable from nature. This gave birth at once to Avarice and Ingenuity: Avarice, the first-born, was not fatisfied with the prefent moment, unless all that were to come had a fair profpect of equal indulgence; and Ingenuity put in for a share of happiness, by rendering itself neceffary to the happiness of others.

The moment the door was opened to these refinements in pleasure, a multitude of wants and miferies rufh'd into the world with them, that were before unknown; and at this hour, by the force of habit and example, are become fo much of a piece with those we receiv'd at the first hand from nature, that they are hardly diftinguishable one from the other, and perhaps by no art to be disjoined.

But whatever licence this depravity has received from time and fashion, 'tis nevertheless as ridiculous in itself, tho' it does not appear fo, as if it was the growth of the prefent day. To fee people make themfelves unhappy for what is no ingredient of happiness, and place their importance on what in fact makes them contemptible, furnishes out an almost inexhaustible fund of fatire and irony.

As therefore, compliments apart, no nation in Europe can vie with our own in particulars of this nature, let me be again indulged in reviving Democritus, and placing him where fome of our moft remarkable humorists may pafs in review before him.-I will not take upon me to remark for him on fo many ludicrous occafions. His character would

perhaps foil a much abler genius than mine to draw it as it ought. I shall therefore leave that defect to be fupplied by the reader's imagination, with which he will be better fatisfied than with any thing that can be the refult of mine.

Enter Lady Newcome, and Sir Humphrey her husband.

La. Preach humility to a person of my birth and education! one that is defcended from a peerage for fo many ages, in a more direct line than the patriarchs.

Sir H. Vanity! mere vanity!

La. Yes, and 'tis my glory to be vain of it; my chief, nay my only glory! -To count nothing but Lords, Earls, Dukes and Princes in my genealogy, without flip or graft from among the vulgar!

Sir H. Faith, I'm forry for it. I love the vulgar with all my heart,— and chiefly because they are not proud of their pedigrees.

La. Ah! that it fhould be my curfe to be link'd with a wretch that can endure the abominable vulgar! nay, that is one of them himself! But don't think to convert me to your dirty notions! don't! my fpirit-is above them, and I expect to live as becomes my quality.

Sir H. And what is that, but to excite the admiration or envy of the vulgar you affect to despise so much?

But I put a negative there.-This profligate town is as much my averfion as it is your paradife, and if ever I fee myfelf well out of it again,-Retrench is the word.

La. Retrench! Retrench!-"Tis what was never known in our family fince the conqueft, and it fhall never be laid to my charge I'm refolv'd.

-

Sir H. Better it should though for all that. I am fure your family was all your fortune, and I'm plaguily afraid 'twill very foon be the fortune of your family.

La. And enough too! Our very name's a fortune; and as long as that lasts, the Boaftocks can want no addition.