Enter Pyeboard, and Skirmish. Pye. What's to be done now, old lad of war? Thou that were wont to be as hot as a turnfpit, as nimble as a fencer, and as loufy as a school-mafter, now thou art put to filence like a fectary. War fits now like a juftice of peace, and does nothing. Where be your mufkets, calivers 3 and hot-fhots ? in Long-lane, at pawn, at pawn? Now keys are your only guns; key-guns, key-guns, and bawds the gunners; who are your fentinels in peace, and stand ready charg'd to give warning with hems, hums, and pocky coughs only your chambers are licens'd to play upon you, and drabs enow to give fire to 'em. Skir. Well, I cannot tell, but I am fure it goes wrong with me; for fince the ceafure of the wars I have spent above a hundred crowns out of purse. I have been a foldier any time this forty years; and 2 Enter Pyeboard,] The pie is a table or rule in the old Roman offices fhewing how to find out the fervice which is to be read each day. Hence probably the fcholar's name. The printing letter called the pica, feems (as Mr. Steevens observes) to have been denominated from the fame original. MALONE. See note on the Second Part of K. Henry IV. last edit. vol.v. P. 581. STEEVENS. 3- Where be your muskets, calivers, &c.] A caliver was an old English mufket. MALONE. 4 - give warning with hems, bums, and pocky coughs:] So Othello addreffing himself to Emilia : 5 fhut the door; "Cough, or cry-hem, if any body come. STEEVENS. only your chambers are licens'd to play upon you,—] Chambers are fmall pieces of ordnance. MALONE. See note on K. Henry IV. P. II. vol. v. last edit. p. 493. STEEVENS. now and now I perceive an old foldier and an old courtier have both one deftiny, and in the end turn both into hob-nails. Pye. Pretty mystery for a beggar; for indeed a hob-nail is the true emblem of a beggar's fhoefoal. Skir. I will not fay but that war is a blood-fucker, and fo; but in my confcience, (as there is no foldier but has a piece of one, though it be full of holes, like a hot ancient; no matter,-'twill ferve to fwear by,) in my confcience, I think fome kind of peace has more hidden oppreffions, and violent heady fins, (though looking of a gentle nature,) than a profefs'd war 7. Pye. 'Troth, and for mine own part, I am a poor gentleman, and a fcholar; I have been matriculated in the univerfity, wore out fix gowns there, feen fome fools, and fome fcholars, fome of the city, and fome of the country, kept order, went bare-headed over the quadrangle, eat my commons with a good ftomach, and battled with difcretion; at last, hav 6 ing • full of boles, like a fhot ancient;] So in King Henry IV. laft edit. vol. v. p. 392: ten times more dishonourably 66 ragged than an old fac'd ancient. STEEVENS. 7 -peace has more bidden oppreffions, and violent, heady fins, than a profess'd war.] Luxuria incubuit. fævior armis Juv. STEEVENS. I have been matriculated in the univerfity; — went bareheaded over the quadrangle, eat my commons with a good ftomach, and battled with difcretion ;-] These phrafes, which are feldom heard of, and little known, out of univerfities, render it probable that the writer of this play was an academick. From the latter expreffion Dr. Farmer fuppofes the author to have been bred at Oxford, battling being the term used there to exprefs what is called fizing at Cambridge. Quadrangle is likewife, if I am not mistaken, an Oxford, and not a Cambridge, phrafe. Battles and fixings are certain portions of bread, beer, &c. got from the college buttery, on credit, without paying for them at the time they are received, MALONE. Το ing done many fleights and tricks to maintain my wit in ufe, (as my brain would never endure me to be idle;) I was expell'd the univerfity, only for ftealing a cheese out of Jefus college. Skir. Is't poffible? Pye. O there was one Welshman (God forgive him!) pursued it hard, and never left, till I turn'd my staff toward London; where when I came, all my friends were pit-hol'd, gone to graves; as indeed there was but a few left before. Then was I turn'd to my wits, to fhift in the world, to tower* among fons and heirs, and fools, and gulls, and la dies' eldest fons; to work upon nothing, to feed out of flint and ever fince has my belly been much beholden to my brain. But now to return to you, old Skirmish :-I fay as you fay, and for my part with a turbulency in the world; for I have nothing to lofe but my wits, and I think they are as mad as they will be: and to ftrengthen your argument the more, I fay an honeft war is better than a bawdy peace. As touching my profeffion; the mul tiplicity of fcholars, hatch'd and nourish'd in the idle calms of peace, makes them, like fishes, one devour another; and the community of learning has fo play'd upon affections, that thereby almoft religion. is come about to phantafy, and difcredited by being too much spoken of, in fo many and mean mouths. I myself being a scholar and a graduate, have no other comfort by my learning, but the af To battle or fize is to purchafe from the cook of the college fuch provifions as are not furnished by the rules of the fociety as commons in the hall. STEEVENS. * to tower-] i. e. rife like a hawk to defcend on my prey. So in K. Henry VI. P. II: "My lord protector's hawks do tower fo well." STEEVENS. batch'd and nourish'd in the idle calms of peace,-] So in K. Henry IV. P. I. last edit, vol. v. p. 391: of a calm world and a long peace." STEEVENS. the cankers fliction fection of my words ', to know how, fcholar-like, to name what I want; and can call myfelf a beggar both in Greek and Latin. And therefore not to cog with peace, I'll not be afraid to say, 'tis a great breeder, but a barren nourisher; a great getter of children, which muft either be thieves or rich men, knaves or beggars. Skir. Well, would I had been born a knave then, when I was born a beggar! for if the truth was known, I think I was begot when my father had ne ver a penny in his purfe. Pye. Puh faint not, old Skirmish; let this warrant thee-facilis defcenfus Averni-'tis an eafy journey to a knave; thou may't be a knave when thou wilt: and Peace is a good madam to all other profeffions, and an errant drab to us. Let us handle her accordingly, and by our wits thrive in defpite of her: For fince the law lives by quarrels, the courtier by fmooth good-morrows, and every profeffion makes itself greater by imperfections, why not we then by fhifts, wiles, and forgeries? And feeing our brains are our only patrimonies, let's fpend with judgment; not like a defperate fon and heir, but like a fober and difcreet Templar: one that will never march beyond the bounds of his allowance. And for our thriving means, thus :-I myself will put on the deceit of a fortune teller. Skir. A fortune-teller? Very proper. Pye. And you a figure-cafter, or a conjurer. Pye. Let me alone; I'll inftruct you, and teach you to deceive all eyes, but the devil's. Skir. O ay, for I would not deceive him, an I could choose, of all others. the affection of my words,-] i. e. affectation. So Hamlet: " no matter in the phrafe that might indite the author of affection," Malvolio in Tavelfth Night is alfo called " fection'd afs." STEEVENS. an af -the affection of my words,-] Thus the folios. The quarto has-affliction. MALONE. VOL. II. Pye. Fear not, I warrant you. And fo by thofe means we shall help one another to patients; as the condition of the age affords creatures enough for cuaning to work upon. Skir. O wondrous! new fools and fresh affes. Skir. What, in the name of conjuring? Pye. My memory greets me happily with an admirable fubject to graze upon. The lady widow, whom of late I faw weeping in her garden for the death of her husband, fure fhe has but a waterish foul, and half of't by this time is dropp'd out of her eyes: device well manag'd may do good upon her: it ftands firm; my firft practice fhall be there. Skir. You have my voice, George. Pye. She has a grey gull to her brother, a fool to her only fon, and an ape to her youngest daughter. I overheard them severally, and from their words I'll derive my device; and thou, old Peter Skirmish, fhalt be my fecond in all fleights. Skir. Ne'er doubt me, George Pyeboard;-only you must teach me to conjure. Pye. Puh! I'll perfect thee, Peter: How now! what's he? [Idle pinioned, and attended by a guard of secriff's officers, paffes over the page. Skir. O George! this fight kills me. 'Tis my fworn brother, captain Idle. Pye. Captain Idle! Skir. Apprehended for fome felonious act or other. He has started out,-has made a night on't,lack'd filver. I cannot but commend his refolution; he would not pawn his buff-jerkin. I would either fome of us were employed, or might pitch our tents at úfurers' doors, to kill the flaves as they peep out at the wicket. Pye. Indeed, thofe are our ancient enemies; they keep our money in their hands, and make us to be hang'd |