That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, isguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.

Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll

come,

And in this shape: When you have brought
him thither,
[plot?
What shall be done with him? what is your
Mrs. Puge. That likewise have we thought
upon, and thus:

an Page my daughter, and my little son,
d three or four more of their growth, we'll
dress
[white,
ike urchins, ouphes,* and fairies, green and
With rounds of waxen tapers on their hea is,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffused+ song; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly:
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight.
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape prophane.

Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known,

We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.

Ford. The children must

Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

Sim. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian* unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, Sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll cali.-Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye!

Enter FALSTAFF.

Ful. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone,

Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that be

Eva. I will teach the children their beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. viours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy

them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy ;—and in that time

Shall master Slender steal my Nan away,

[Aside. And marry her at Eton.-Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of
Brook:

He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come.
Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us
properties,

And tricking for our fairies.

Era. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS.
Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit Mrs. FORD.
I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have
her,

Though twenty thousand worthier come to
crave her.
[Exit.

SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Host and SIMPLE.

Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir?
Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man,
that beguiled master Slender of his chain, coz-

ened him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, Sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Sim. What, Sir?

Ful. To have her,-or no: Go; say, the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir? Fal. Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold? Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter BARDOlph.

Bard. Out, alas, Sir! cozenage! meer cozenage!

Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses. Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, A cunning wom n, a fortune-teller. Scholar like.

A connibal.

villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are | And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee honest men.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

Era. Where is mine host?
Host. What is the matter, Sir?

Era. Have a care of your entertainments:
there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me,
there is three couzin germans, that has cozen-
ed all the aosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of
Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you
for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full
of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not con-
venient you should be cozened: Fare you
well.
[Exit.

Enter Doctor CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre. Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tella me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, knight; I am undone:-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone !

A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss.
Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and
I will, at the least, keep your counsel.
Fent. From time to time I have acquainted

you

With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;
Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection
(So far forth as herself might be her chooser,)
Even to my wish: I have a letter from her
Of such contents as you will wonder at;
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,
That neither, singly, can be manifested,
Without the show of both;-wherein fat Fal-
staff

Hath a great scene: the image of the jest.
[Showing the letter.
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine
host:
[one,
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented:
Now, Sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it

[Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at Prime-To ro. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY. Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Ful.What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FENTON and Host.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. [purpose, Fent. Yet here me speak: Assist me in my A game at cards.

rests:

Her father means she shall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him :-her mother hath in-
tended,

The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose en-
rob'd,

With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host. Which means she to deceive? father
or mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with

me:

And here it rests,-that you'll procure the vicar
To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one,
And, in the lawful name of marrying,
To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the

vicar:

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee;
Besides, I'll make a present recompense.

ACT V.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 1.-A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY. Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling ;-go.I'll hold : This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away.

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns.

* In the letter. Fantastically. Keep to time.

Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY.

Enter FORD.

How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their lechery, Those that betray them do no treachery. Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; To the oak, to the oak! [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-Windsor Park. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, and Fairies. ber your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and rememinto the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib.

[Exeunt.

Enter FALSTAFF disguised, with a buck's head on.
SCENE V.-Another part of the Park.

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, 1 fear not Goliath with a weaver's Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded I am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you gods assist me:-Remember, Jove, thou wast all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. played truant, and whipped top, I knew not-O powerful love! that, in some respects, what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, the love of Leda;-0, omnipotent love! how and I will deliver his wife into your hand. near the god drew to the complexion of a Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! goose?-A fault done first in the form of a follow. [Exeunt. beast;-O Jove, a beastly fault! and then anSCENE II.-Windsor Park. other fault in the semblance of a fowl; think Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. on't, Jove; a foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle- here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-i' the forest: send ine a cool rut-time, Jove, or Remember, son Slender, my daughter. who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe?

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries, budget; and by that we know one another.

Enter Mrs. FORD and Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Shal. That's good too: But what needs either Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the your mum, or her budget? the white will de-sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of cipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow o'clock. eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. [Embracing her.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor. Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr. CAIUS. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, Sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night.

Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him.

Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

Watch-word

Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch; I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter? my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within. Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise? Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins! Fal. What should this be?

Mrs. Ford.

Mrs. Page.

Away, away. [They run off.

Fal. I think, the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he would never else cross me

thus.

Eva. And given to fornications, and to ta-paisan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by verns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles?