To pay ready money you sha'n't be distress'd,
As a bill at long date suits the CHANCELLOR best.

Come, where's the next Tool?-Oh! 'tis here in a trice-
This implement, Gemmen! at first was a Vice-
(A tenacious and close sort of Tool, that will let
Nothing out of its grasp it once happens to get)
But it since has received a new coating of Tin,
Bright enough for a Prince to behold himself in!
Come, what shall we say for it? briskly! bid on,
We'll the sooner get rid of it-going-quite gone!
God be with it! Such Tools, if not quickly knock'd
down,

Might at last cost their owner-how much? why, a
Crown!

The next Tool I'll set up has hardly had handsel or
Trial as yet, and is also a Chancellor-

Such dull things as these should be sold by the gross ;
Yet, dull as it is, 'twill be found to shave close,
And, like other close shavers, some courage to gather,
This blade first began by a flourish on leather!
You shall have it for nothing-then, marvel with me
At the terrible tinkering work there must be,

Where a Tool, such as this is (I'll leave you to jud;

it), Is placed by ill luck at the top of the Budget!

LITTLE MAN AND LITTLE SOUL.

A Ballad to the Tune of “ There was a little Man,

and he wooed a little Maid,” dedicated to the Right Hon. Ch-rl-s Abb-tt.

Arcades ambo.
Et cant-are pares.

a

1813. There was a little Man, and he had a little Soul, And he said, “ Little Soul, let us try, try, try,

66 Whether it's within our reach

“ To make up a little Speech, 6. Just between little you and little I, I, I,

“ Just between little you and little I!”

Then said his little Soul,

Peeping from her little hole, “ I protest, little Man, you are stout, stout, stout,

"Must our little, little speech be about, bout, bout, "Must our little, little speech be about?”

The little Man look'd big,

With th' assistance of his wig,

And he call'd his little Soul to order, order, order,

Till she fear'd he'd make her jog in

To jail, like Thomas Groggan,

(As she wasn't Duke or Earl) to reward her, ward her, ward her,

As she wasn't Duke or Earl, to reward her.

The little Man then spoke,

"Little Soul, it is no joke,

"For, as sure as J-CKY F-LL-R loves a sup, sup, sup,

"I will tell the Prince and People

"What I think of Church and Steeple,

"And my little patent plan to prop them up, up, up, "And my little patent plan to prop them up."

Away then, cheek by jowl,

Little Man and little Soul

Went, and spoke their little speech to a tittle, tittle,

tittle,

And the world all declare

That this priggish little pair

Never yet in all their lives look'd so little, little, little, Never yet in all their lives look'd so little.

As recruits in these times are not easily got,

And the Marshal must have them-pray, why should

we not,

As the last and, I grant it, the worst of our loans to him, Ship off the Ministry, body and bones to him?

There's not in all England, I'd venture to swear,

Any men we could half so conveniently spare,

And, though they've been helping the French for years past,

We

may thus make them useful to England at last.

C-STL-R-GH in our sieges might save some disgraces,
Being used to the taking and keeping of places;
And Volunteer C-NN-NG, still ready for joining,
Might show off his talent for sly undermining.
Could the Household but spare us its glory and pride,
Old H-DF-T at horn-works again might be tried,
And the Ch―f J-ST-CE make a bold charge at his side!
While V-NS-TT-RT could victual the troops upon tick,
And the Doctor look after the baggage and sick.

Nay, I do not see why the great R-G-NT himself Should, in times such as these, stay at home on the shelf :

Though through narrow defiles he's not fitted to pass, Yet who could resist if he bore down en masse?

And though oft, of an evening, perhaps he might prove, Like our brave Spanish Allies, "unable to move ;”* Yet there's one thing in war, of advantage unbounded, Which is, that he could not with ease be surrounded!

In my next, I shall sing of their arms and equipment! At present no more but-good luck to the shipment!

* The character given to the Spanish soldier, in Sir John Murray's memorable dispatch.