Ant. Well, Sir, learn to jeft in good time; there's a time for all things.

S. Dro. I durft have deny'd that, before you were fo cholerick.

Ant. By what rule, Sir?

S. Dro. Marry, Sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of father Time himself.

Ant. Let's hear it.

S. Dro. There's no time for a man to recover his hair, that grows bald by nature.

Ant. May he not do it by fine and recovery ?

S. Dro. Yes, to pay a fine for a peruke, and recover the loft hair of another man.

2 Ant. Why is Time fuch a niggard of hair, being, as it is, fo plentiful an excrement?

S. Dro. Because it is a bleffing that he bestows on beafts; and what he hath fcanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.

Ant. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.

S. Dro. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit to lofe his hair.

Ant. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.

S. Dro. The plainer dealer, the fooner loft; yet he lofeth it in a kind of jollity.

2 In former Editions: Ant. Why is Time fuch a Niggard of Hair, being, as it is, fo plentiful an Excrement?

S. Dro. Because it is a Bleffing that he leflows on Beafts, and what be bath fcanted them in hair, he bath given them in Wit.] Surely, this is Mock-reasoning, and a Contradiction in Senfe. Can Hair be fuppos'd a Bleffing, which Time beftows on Beafts peculiarly; and yet that he hath fcanted them of it too? Men and

I 4

Them, I obferve, are very frequently mistaken vice verfa for each other, in the old Impreffions of our Author. THEOBALD.

3 Not a man of those, but he bath the wit to lose his hair.] That is, Those who have more hair than wit, are easily entrapped by loose women, and fuffer the confequences of lewdness, one of which, in the first appearance of the disease in Europe, was the lofs of hair.

Ant.

Ant. For what reafon ?

S. Dro. For two, and found ones too.
Ant. Nay, not found, I pray you.
S. Dro. Sure ones then.

Ant. Nay, not fure in a thing falfing.
S. Dro. Certain ones then.

Ant. Name them.

S. Dro. The one to fave the mony that he spends in tyring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge.

Ant. You would all this time have prov'd, there is no time for all things.

S. Dro. Marry, and did, Sir; namely, no time to recover hair loft by nature.

Ant. But your reafon was not fubftantial, why there is no time to recover.

S. Dro. Thus I mend it: Time himfelf is bald, and therefore to the world's end will have bald followers. Ant. I knew, twould be a bald conclufion: but, foft! who wafts us yonder?

SCENE V.

Enter Adriana, and Luciana.

Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholis, look ftrange and frown, Some other miftrefs hath thy fweet afpects:

I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.

The time was once, when thou, unurg'd, wouldst vow,
That never words were mufick to thine ear,

That never object pleafing in thine eye,
That never touch well welcome to thy hand,
That never meat fweet-favour'd in thy tafte,

Unless I fpake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carv'd.

How comes it now, my husband, oh, how comes it,
That thou art thus eftranged from thyself?
Thyfelf I call it, being ftrange to me:

That, undividable, incorporate,

Am better than thy dear felf's better part.
Ah, do not tear away thyfelf from me:
For know, my Love, as eafy may'st thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulph,
And take unmingled thence that drop again,
Without addition or diminishing,

As take from me thyfelf, and not me too.
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Shouldft thou but hear, I were licentious?
And that this body, confecrate to thee,
By ruffian luft should be contaminate ?
Wouldst thou not fpit at me, and spurn at me,
And huri the name of hufband in my face,
And tear the ftain'd skin of my harlot-brow,
And from my falfe hand cut the wedding-ring,
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?

I know thou can'ft; and therefore, fee thou do it.
I am poffefs'd with an adulterate blot;

My blood is mingled with the crime of luft+:
For if we two be one, and thou play false,
I do digeft the poison of thy flesh,

Being trumpeted by thy contagion.

Keep then fair league, and truce with thy true bed; I live dif-ftain'd, thou undishoured 5.

Ant. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not: In Ephefus I am but two hours old,

As strange unto your town as to your talk.

Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd,
Wants wit in all one word to understand.

Luc. Fy, brother! how the world is chang'd with

you;

When were you wont to use my sister thus ?
She fent for you by Dromia home to dinner.
Ant. By Dromio?

S. Dro. By me?

Adr. By thee; and thus thou didst return from him, That he did buffet thee; and in his blows

Deny'd my houfe for his, me for his wife.

Ant. Did you converfe, Sir, with this gentlewoman? What is the courfe and drift of your compact? S. Dro. I, Sir? I never faw her 'till this time. Ant. Villain, thou lieft; for even her very words Didft thou deliver to me on the mart.

S. Dro. I never spoke with her in all my life.
Ant. How can fhe thus then call us by our names,
Unless it be by inspiration?

Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity,
To counterfeit thus grofly with your flave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood?
Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt,
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
Come, I will faften on this fleeve of thine;
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine:
Whose weakness, marry'd to thy ftronger state,
Makes me with thy ftrength to communicate;
If aught poffefs thee from me, it is drofs,
Ufurping ivy, brier, or idle mofs;

Who, all for want of pruning, with intrufion

Infect thy fap, and live on thy confufion.

Ant. To me the fpeaks; the moves me for her

theam :

What, was I marry'd to her in my dream?

-you are from me exempt.] Exempt, feparated, parted. The fenfe is, if I am doomed to fuffer

the wrong of feparation, yet injure not with contempt me who am already injured.

Or

Or fleep I now, and think I hear all this?
What error drives our eyes and ears amifs?
Until I know this fure uncertainty,

I'll entertain the favour'd fallacy.

Luc. Dromio, go bid the fervant fpread for dinner. S. Dro. Oh, for my beads! I cross me for a finner. This is the Fairy land: oh, fpight of fpights! We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish fprights?; If we obey them not, this will enfue,

They'll fuck our breath, and pinch us black and blue. Luc. Why prat'ft thou to thyfelf, and answer'st

Dromio, thou drone, thou fnail, thou flug, thou fot! S. Dro.