turns all together. It is true, he wrote to me conftantly during his abfences, and his letters glowed with affection and fincerity; but I could not help at laft remarking, that they bordered too much on adulation.

I must here, by way of relief to the rapid continuation of my tale, entertain you with a droll circumstance, which happened in the race week, and into which I was led by the remains of my natural vanity. A nobleman, who had a horse to run for the plate at York races, was at our house for fome days. As his Lordfhip was intitled by his rank to the feat of honour, he of course, during dinner, fat at my right hand. But I could not help observing, that his eye was conftantly and steadily fixed upon me. I took little notice of it at firft, thinking it was occafioned by the attractive power of my charms, and that good manners would in time induce his Lordship to behave with more decorum. Seeing, however, that my face was ftill the chief object to which his eye was directed, I grew much disconcerted and abafhed. But having, at length, recovered from the little prudery I had contracted in Ireland, I complained to Mr. Metham of the rudeness of his friend. He could not avoid smiling whilst I made my complaint; and, as a perfect acquittal of his Lordship from any defign to offend me, he in

formed

formed me, that the eye which had been always fo fteadily fixed upon me, and excited my alarms, was only an innocent glass eye, and therefore could not convey any improper information; as it was immovable all day, and rested at night very quietly upon the table. My vanity received a check by the incident, and I joined in the laugh which it had occafioned.

On the fourth of December I was taken fo ill, that the nurse who had been fome time with me, declared it to be my labour. Mr. Metham was then at Ferry-bridge, but was immediately fent for. On his return, he infifted upon sending for a man-midwife; but this I would by no means agree to. My false modesty here visited me a fecond time. And, as at first, it had prevented me from clearing up my reputation after being carried off by the Earl of. fo now it had like to have cost me my life. For the apprehensions arifing from my delicacy, prompted me to fmother my pains, till my life was in danger; which in the end brought on a forced labour, and obliged me to have recourse to that affiftance I had ftrove to avoid.

It is a matter of great furprize to me, that as female practitioners in midwifery are in general inex pert, women defer having an accoucheur, till neceffity obliges him to be called in. Those who, out

of

of a mistaken modefty, do this, not only risk the lives of themselves and infants, but, if difficulties render it neceffary that a doctor fhould be called in, are informed by it of their danger, at a time when no addition ought to be made to their terror. And if, through their continued obftinacy, their lives fhould be loft, they are, in my opinion, guilty of felf-murder.

The eleventh day of my illness, my ever regretted George Metham firft faw the light; and, I may truly fay, bleft me, in making me the mother of a man child; as his lofs afterwards not only deprived me of a good child, but of a fincere and affectionate friend; and had death fpared him, he would now, I doubt not, have made my old age comfortable.

Mr. Metham was like a diftracted man till I was pronounced to be out of danger. He had wrote to my mother to intreat her to come to York on account of my illnefs; which, to our mutual furprize, fhe confented to. And to her prefence I attribute in a great measure, my recovering fo foon as I did. After her arrival, fhe never let my lover have a moment's peace, whenever they were together, till he promised to make me his wife. And as he was a man of unblemished honour, fhe refted perfectly fatisfied with this declaration, and was reconciled to

me.

She

She now transferred all her attention and tendernefs to my little boy. Of this fhe gave a moft ftriking proof, by fuffering him to fleep in the same bed with her, when he had taken the fmall-pox, notwithstanding fhe had never had that dreadful diforder, and was very apprehenfive of it. As the nurse that fuckled her little grandfon was young, and consequently inclined to heaviness, fhe took this affectionate step to prevent any disagreeable consequences that might arise from her negligence.

G. A. B.

LETTER XXXVIII.

August 24, 17

ABOUT this time I received a letter from Mr. Quin, apologizing for not having kept his promise in paying me a vifit during the fummer. He at the same time informed me, that although it was fo late in the feafon, he defired I would make all poffible hafte to London, as he had obtained an engagement for me, which would compensate for Mr. Rich's behaviour the preceding winter. He told me that the proprietor had agreed to give me seven pounds a week with a free benefit; and that my falary was to commence from the opening of the house.

Mr.

Mr. Metham, who had stayed at home from the beginning of my illness, began now to find York very dull. He therefore languished to be in London; and wifhed me to accept of the offer. I made ufe of all the arguments in my power to prevail on him to fuffer me to remain in a retirement where I was fo happy; and where we could live genteely upon the most reasonable terms. Though till our fettling at York, I had never been accustomed to the management of a family, I had applied with fo much industry to acquire a knowledge of it, and was become fuch an economift, that our weekly expences did not exceed three guineas.

But neither the reasons I could urge, nor even that power I once flattered myfelf I had acquired over his heart, could now avail. Fortunate would

it have been for us both had I fucceeded. But fate decreed it otherwise. And I was reserved to suffer calamities, of which had it been poffible for me to have acquired a foreknowledge, the very apprehenfion would have broken my heart, and prevented the completion of them.-Happy is it for mortals that they are not endowed with a prefcience of their future destiny. The prospect in general would prove fo gloomy, that it would make them wish for their diffolution, and too often tempt them to precipitate it. Small evils would be magnified, by being viewed through