8. Our quarterly meeting at Esher. Mourning and heaviness of spirit were much the clothing of my mind, the forepart of the meeting; yet afterwards a little encouraged by the animating testimony of John Wigham, under a belief that a renewed visitation was extended to a backsliding generation. How excellently did he point out the way to life, and the many stratagems of an unwearied enemy to lead from it!

14. Some disappointments attending, I have felt a disposition bordering on repining; to which at times I have too much yielded; at others, have striven against it.

16. Have felt renewedly, pure desires begotten in my heart after a total resignation of my will to the Lord's; which I esteem a favour from his boun

tiful hand.

17. Was enabled this morning at meeting to cast down every crown at the footstool of a merciful Saviour and renewedly to crave preservation and conformity to his will: which he alone can produce.

19. Again struggled after resignation, and was enabled to ropose all my cares on a merciful Providence ; who careth for the ravens, and who knows best what to dispense to the workmanship of his holy hand.

22. My mind hath enjoyed a good degree of quiet and resignation for several days past.

24. Saw into the beauty and excellency of walking by faith. O this divine anchor to the

soul! Without its support how often should I have fainted by the way!

SECOND MONTH, 1800.

2. Am fearful my offerings were not sufficiently unmixed with creaturely zeal; although I think my desires were sincere that they might be so.

9. This morning had renewedly to number my blessings, and see how much I owed unto the Lord. In the afternoon meeting the enemy threw discouragements like a cloud over my mind: which caused me sore conflict.

19. In my solitary walk to visit the poor, the address of the angel to Cornelius, "Thy prayers ❝and thine alms are come up for a memorial before "God," sweetly impressed my mind; not that I believed it applicable to myself, well knowing how improperly I perform my duty in these respects, as well as others; yet it brought me into contrition and an humble resigned frame of mind.

24. My beloved uncle Kidd appears hastening apace to the solemn close, crowned with sweet peace. He said to-day, all would be well; he never before had such a prospect of it; he thought he saw the angels waiting to receive him.

25. Still drawing nearer to his everlasting habitation. We thought him going this evening, but he revived again and said he was going to leave a troublesome world. A truth we could feelingly subscribe.to.

THIRD MONTH, 1800.

7. A time of wrestling to-day at meeting; found it hard work to get my mind.centred.

9. Went to meeting under depressing sensations on account of the increasing deviation of a be loved friend; yet have thankfully to acknowledge, my faith in the divine all-sufficiency was renewed by the fresh extensions of heavenly love.

10. As unexpected as pleasant was the company of dear Thomas Colley, who came this afternoon and had a public meeting in the evening: in which he laboured abundantly to gather the people home to Christ the true foundation; inviting them to buy milk and wine without money and without price. These words to me appeared fitly spoken, comparable to apples of gold in pictures of silver.

II. Accompanied Thomas Colley to Guildford, and attended the week-day meeting. He was again led forth to invite the strayed sheep to the true fold, believing there were present who had been brought out of Egypt; but because of unbelief had loitered long in the wilderness. To these he believed the call was extended, Come out of the wilderness; thou hast compassed this mountain long enough: adding, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt ?" A public meeting in the evening, owned I think by the Master of our assemblies.

15. My revered uncle Kidd quietly departed this life about twenty minutes past ten o'clock this

morning. Peaceful was his close; may my latter end be like his.

23. Many friends came to attend the burial of dear uncle Kidd, so that the remains were honourably attended, and borne to the grave by his friends who had long known his worth. I thought the forepart of the meeting covered with solemnity. 27. Calm and peaceful, and I trust humbly thankful for unmerited blessings.

30. My strength renewed in the all-sufficiency of him, under the shadow of whose wing I ever desire to put my trust.

FOURTH MONTH, 1800.

1. Our quarterly meeting. The meeting for worship an exercising time, yet owned by him who remains to be the crown of our religious assemblies. I was enabled to get through the business of the meeting with some degree of satisfaction to myself, and I would hope to that of my friends. May I ever acknowledge with thankfulness whence my help cometh, well knowing that I can do nothing aright of myself.

5. Think I have been profitably employed most of this week as to action. I wish I could add my mind had been equally so; but fear that is not the

case.

10. My feelings have been uncommonly trying for several days past. The Lord alone knows the conflicts of a weak heart.

. H

II.

Once more, after a severe struggle, I was enabled to surrender my will, and all that belongs to me, into the hands of a merciful Creator: well knowing that he will order all things aright and eventually for my good; although at times faith may be at so low an ebb, I may not be able to see it.

13. Repaired as to the washing-pool, from which I returned sweetly refreshed.

15. Came to London in order to assist A. Newman in nursing her two infants who are dangerously ill. Found them removed to Hampstead. An affecting scene presented, sweet delicate Mary stretched on her cot, little more than a corpse; and Thomas almost as ill on a bed near.

23. The sweet lambs still living, but the physicians give no hopes of their recovery. How inscrutable to us short-sighted mortals are the ways of that wisdom which cannot err.

30. Dear Thomas breathed his last about half past six o'clock this morning without a struggle. What a merciful release from pain and sorrow; while his darling sister is left to struggle a while longer; and her sufferings are a considerable addition to the grief of their afflicted parents; whe however are supported to admiration.

FIFTH MONTH, 1800.

8. Was at the week-day meeting at Chelmsford; and though I had nothing to boast of, yet have to