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order to gather the outcasts of Israel and the dispersed of Judah.
31. Attended the week-day meeting at Andover, which was to my feelings a preciously favoured season. May it prove so to some who were present, and not pass away like the early dew. I thought Phebe eminently favoured to divide the word aright.
ELEVENTH MONTH, 1799.
4. Came to Ringwood, where my mind was dipped into a low spot, from some discouraging circumstances. Was at the week-day meeting, where I think I was renewedly enabled to offer up my own will, desiring the Lord's might be done.
6. Attended the week-day meeting at Pool, a season to be remembered by me, for the fresh descendings of heavenly dew. A laborious season to dear Phebe, who was led in a close line to rouse the lukewarm. Had a sweet little opportunity in a friend's family in the evening. Phebe finding we could not go to, Guernsey, but in an armed: vessel, felt her mind unexpectedly released from the voyage; which was a great relief to my poor mind.
15. Came to Sherborne. Met unexpectedly and pleasantly with John Wigham and John Abbott, who were on their way to Guernsey. Here we got a fresh dip, respecting going thither. Phebe had a meeting at the above-mentioned
place : a precious season to my mind during the silent part of it.
19. Went to Somerton; dear Phebe laboured abundantly amongst the little flock here.
21. Came to Bristol, where I had the satisa faction of meeting my beloved connexions in health, and my dear sister better than I had expected ; which I esteemed a great favour added to the many, the very many received in my late journey; the chief of which I reckon the Lord's condescending goodness in owning and refreshing my spirit in every meeting I sat in.
TWELFTH MONTH, 1799.
8. Sat in a low spot this morning at meeting, under an humbling sense of my unworthiness to approach perfect Goodness; yet was favoured to feel the healing waters administered. In the evening shamefully unwatchful: · poor unstable creature!
9. Parted with my endeared friend Phebe Speakman, which was no small trial to my feelings.
11. Attended the quarterly meeting at Bridgewater. I think the meetings were favoured seasons, but I did not derive so much benefit from them as I might have done, 'had I kept more steadily on the watch. David Sands gave us much of his company at the inn, and appeared several times acceptably, and once remarkably.
13. I wrestled to-day at meeting as in the
night season, and my endeavours were not altogether unblessed.
18. My mirid hath been much tried for some days past, yet this hath been its humble language, Shall í not drink of the cup that thou handest me; although its mixture be wormwood and gall?
Some degree of sweetness and resignation.
A precious season to my poor soul, being graciously permitted to lean upon its beloved.
24. A trying day in taking leave of some near relations and dear friends at Bristol. A contriting season at dear Hannah Stephenson's. We parted under a precious covering and near sympathy.
27. Came home. Found dear uncle Kidd in a very weak state, but better than I expected.
31. Thus another year is passed away; in which I have, I trust, endured some conflict with a good degree of resignation, yet a of manifold infirmities is still my companion. May He who hath hitherto been my Rock and my Shield be graciously pleased to preserve from falling, and enable me to follow him, though in a crucifying path.
FIRST MONTH, 1800.
3. Our Monthly meeting ; which I thought a low
Afresh pained at the increasing departure of a beloved brother from the true foundation, as I believe.
8. Our quarterly meeting at Esher. Mourning and heaviness of spirit were much the clothing of my mind, the forepart of the meeting; yet afterwards a little encouraged by the animating testimony of John Wigham, under a belief that a renewed visitation was extended to a backsliding generation. How excellently did he point out the way to life, and the many :stratagems of an unwearied enemy to lead from it!
14. Some disappointments attending, I have fel a disposition bordering on repining; to which at times I have too much yielded ; at others, have striven against it.
16. Have felt renewedly, pure desires begotten in my heart after a total resignation of my will to the Lord's; which I esteem a favour from his bountiful hand.
17. Was enabled this morning at meeting to cast down every crown at the footstool of a merci ful Saviour: and renewedly to crave preservation and conformity to his will: which he alone can produce.
19. Again struggled after resignation, and was enabled to ropose
my cares on a merciful Providence; who careth for the ravens, and who knows best what to dispense to the workmanship of his holy hand.
24. My mind hath enjoyed a good degree of quiet and resignation for several days past.
24. Saw into the beauty and excellency of walking by faith. O this divine anchor to the
soul! Without its support how often should I have fainted by the way!
SECOND MONTH, 1800.
2. Am fearful my offerings were not sufficiently unmixed with creaturely zeal; although I think my desires were sincere that they might be so.
9. This morning had renewedly to number my blessings, and see how much I owed unto the Lord. In the afternoon meeting the enemy threw discouragements like a cloud over my mind : which caused me sore conflict.
19. In my solitary walk to visit the poor, the address of the angel to Cornelius, “Thy prayers s and thine alms are come up for a memorial before “God," sweetly impressed my mind; not that I believed it applicable to myself, well knowing how improperly I perform my duty in these respects, as well as others; yet it brought me into contrition and an humble resigned frame of mind.
24. My beloved uncle Kidd appears hastening apace to the solemn close, crowned with sweet peace. He said to-day, all would be well.; he never before had such a prospect of it; he thought he saw the angels waiting to receive him.
25. Still drawing nearer to his everlasting habitation. We thought him going this evening, but he revived again and said he was going to leave a troublesome world. A truth we could feelingly subscribe to.