afternoon a trying one. From some cause or other there evidently felt an obstruction to the circulation of life. 12. Fulfilled an appointment of the monthlymeeting in visiting a delinquent; who manifested much tenderness, and a true sense of the kindness of friends. 14. Think I sat in a good degree of true silence to-day at meeting, in which I was owned by the Father and Fountain of all our sure mercies. 21. Found on my sitting down to-day at meeting that it would not do to feed upon the manna of yesterday; but that it must be renewedly waited for, and I was favoured with a little portion of it. 23. Had afresh to call to mind the gracious dealings of the Lord with me from my youth up to this very day. 24. "I will set the Lord always before me," said David; and the desire of my heart hath been, that I may always consider myself as in his presence, and so fear to offend him in thought, word, or deed. 30. Both morning and afternoon meetings seasons of conflict to my poor mind; yet trust the enemy did not gain much ascendancy over me. ELEVENTH MONTH, 1803. 2. The two last days my dwelling hath been much in the valley. I was favoured to-day in my silent sitting with something of that heavenly union and communion which is with the Father and with the Son. Inestimable privilege! May my future steppings evince that I retain a deep sense of its value. 5. Set off in company with Richard Reynolds for Bristol. Reached Melksham first-day morning. The meeting in the morning, held in silence, proved an instructive season to my waiting soul. 7. Left my kind friends at Chapel-Nap, and reached Bristol in the evening, where I found my beloved relations in usual health, which I hope to esteem a favour. Dear Hannah Stephenson, who is at present an inmate in my brother's family, was also better than expected. IO. Some friends dining here, dear H. S. appeared in a lively testimony after dinner, pressing to faithfulness, and testifying from her own experience, that the Lord was a rich rewarder of all those that diligently seek him. 13. I trust the warfare was measurably maintained, though in much weakness. I thought the meetings painfully laborious, especially that in the evening. A precious opportunity occurred in the afternoon in the family, in which H. S. sweetly addressed parents and children. 14. Off my guard, which brought with it a degree of self-condemnation. 15. Repaired to the washing-pool, from which I returned refreshed. Having company, dear H. S. addressed a young woman, sweetly inviting her to bend her neck to the yoke of Christ, and then it would be made easy, and what is called his burthen would be light indeed to the subjected will. 18. Although I sat down at meeting this morning encompassed with infirmity; yet endeavouring to dig deep, through divine assistance, I was enabled to approach the Throne of Grace, and to put up my petition for continued preservation from every hurtful thing. 21. Was fearful that I was not deep enough in my spirit, but moved too much on the surface; therefore desired that I might increase in every Christian virtue, and that my heart might be fortified with divine grace to resist the assaults of an unwearied enemy. 24. Dear Hannah Stephenson had a sweet opportunity as we sat round her bed this evening, which refreshed our spirits. 25. "Open thy doors, O Lebanon, that the "fire may devour thy cedars," impressed my mind soon after I sat down at meeting this morning; and the desire of my heart was, that the fire of the Lord, which is his power, might indeed enter, and destroy every thing that is offensive to his purity. 27. Trust the duties of this day have been measurably fulfilled. 30. Dear Hannah Stephenson had a trying day and appeared very low this evening, and worn with pain. She desired that when favoured with ability, we would pray for her, that patience might have its perfect work in her; saying 'What a sad thing it would be if I should prove a 'stumbling-block' at last. TWELFTH MONTH, 1803. 4. Both morning and evening meetings preciously favoured seasons to my waiting soul. I did not eat the bread of idleness. 5. My tiine this week hath been fully engaged, one way or another, but not, I trust, to the exclusion of the better part. I have been favoured with some watering refreshing seasons, unworthy as I esteem myself of such a favour; and on looking back do not feel much, if any, demnation. con 15. I feel conscious that I have not stepped along with that circumspection which is required of a professed follower of a crucified Saviour. 17. Came to Chapel-Nap, where I met with an affectionate reception, and attended Melksham meetings next day, which I thought rather low seasons. 20. Reached Shaftsbury, where we found most of our little band * assembled, and as we had parted in sweet fellowship, so it was pleasant to feel it revive again on our sitting down together. The yearly meeting's committee before-mentioned. 28. Spent most of this week at Alton, where I met with my beloved mother. Returned home the 30th, when on a review of the manifold blessings, and favours bestowed upon me, the humble language of my soul was, What shall I render unto thee, O Lord, for all thy benefits? May increasing dedication of heart mark the few remaining steps of my pilgrimage, and evince that I have not only sung of thy mercies, but endeavoured, by obedience to thy divine law, to improve them. FIRST MONTH, 1804. I. The vision of Jacob's ladder, and the angels ascending and descending thereon, opened sweetly on my mind, pretty early in the meeting: which appeared to me a lively representation of the communion between the soul and its Creator, when favoured to ascend this heavenly ladder, leaving all transitory things at the foot of it; and the prayer of my heart was that it might be fitted more and more for so precious an enjoy~ ment. 8. Many things crowding in since my last remark, I forget particularly what has occurred, but this I know, that goodness and mercy have followed me from day to day; and though I may not always have improved these blessings as I ought to have done ; yet on a retrospect I feel not much condemnation. |