A DIARY, &c.

I.

FIRST MONTH, 1791..

THIS being the first day of a new year, f have felt new desires raised in my mind, that I' might double my diligence in pursuing those things which make for peace; and spend each day allotted me here in the pure fear of Almighty God. Though it hath been my practice for some years to retire almost daily, to feel after renewed strength to walk uprightly, as well as to see where I have missed my way, and how my accounts stood with the Father of mercies (a practice which I have cause to believe hath been blessed to me); yet I thought it might not be unprofitable to keep some little account in writing of my progress Zion-wards. The looking over past failures may tend to keep me humble; and if blessed with some good days, the remembrance may sometimes serve to revive my drooping faith.

2.

Attended both meetings. In the morning, after some conflict with a temptation, which presented itself on my first sitting down, was enabled in some measure to overcome it; and to approach Him in whose presence is fulness of joy: the afternoon rather dull, yet not without some degree of

A

life. On going to bed a sense of my manifold infirmities humbled me much.

4. Went to meeting this morning. Methought it was a low stripping season, which though not pleasing to the creaturely part, is doubtless beneficial to our souls: that seeing our own insufficiency, we may with more fervency seek help where alone it is to be found.

10. My mind is pained under an apprehension that I have spoken too freely of an absent friend. May it prove a lesson of caution for the future.

II. Went to meeting under much discouragement, and seemed surrounded with infirmity; when, contrary to expectation, the great Physician of value was pleased to appear, to my help, and great refreshment. What a favour!

19. I was much humbled at meeting to-day, under a prospect of some little service that I believed would be required of me, and was desirous that I might be qualified for it: well knowing that of myself I can do nothing right; it seeming as if there was scarcely any so weak or poor.

20. I found some evil dispositions arise to-day, which I had to war with for some time. O, that every plant which is not of my heavenly Father's planting might be rooted up and destroyed; that I might be made more pure than gold. This is what my soul at times is led to aspire after, more than riches or length of days.

28. My time so much taken up with nursing my dear father, and with family engagements,

that I have had scarcely any time for retirement these few days past: yet was favoured to keep pretty much in a state of quiet.

SECOND MONTH, 1791.

1. My mind was sweetly affected to-day, on looking over the journal of my beloved niece, to see how honestly she mentioned her faults. O may this employ be blessed to her, and her mind influenced by divine wisdom to distinguish right from wrong; and strengthened to pursue the things that make for peace.

2. Wrote some remarks to my dear niece, encouraging her to proceed in so profitable an employment. O, while I am overlooking others vineyards, that I may not neglect my own.

7. Many trials of patience to-day. Doubt I did not bear them with that meekness, that be-. cometh a professed follower of a crucified Saviour; yet in the evening my mind was sweetly drawn to aspire after purity.

8. Received some affecting accounts of the sudden death of some of my acquaintances. May I be also ready, not knowing how soon the messenger may be sent to my house. O, that it may

be set in order.

18. A heart-tendering season at meeting to-day. How sweetly is that saying of our blessed Saviour verified, even in this day of degeneracy and deep

revolt," Where two or three are gathered to-

gether in my name, there am I in the midst "of them." Oh, what a favour to feel this gathering arm of divine power extended for our help!

20. A time of much poverty in the fore-part of the meeting, but as I abode in a good degree of patience, was favoured with a little of the inbreaking of light and life.

22. No time these two days for retirement; yet my mind was preserved, I trust, in a good degree of watchfulness and patience; under some unpleasant circumstances.

23. Poor and weak; yet desirous of renewed strength and faithfulness,

24. Some remindings of my heavenly Father's love. How are his mercies renewed every morning.

25. My mind too easily drawn into a wandering state at meeting to-day, out of the hearing of the true Shepherd's voice; which brought me into a state of mourning and abasement.

26. A time of sweet refreshment in my retirement to-day. May I be thankful enough for such a favour.

27. Staid at home from meeting to-day, from necessity, not from choice; yet was favoured to feel Him near me, who is omnipotent, and does not overlook his poor little ones, who are hungering for the bread of life even in their solitary situations. It is with fear and humility that I have thus dared to rank myself of that number; though surely one of the hindermost of the flock.

2. Renewed affliction: was thankful to feel some degree of resignation, and my hope and faith were a little strengthened in a sitting in the family, in the evening.

3. Fresh accounts of a distressing nature. O, may we be brought to an entire reliance on that divine arm of strength, which can support and sustain through a sea of conflict: surely else we should faint by the way.

5. My afflictions renewed this evening by fresh intelligence of a distressing nature; and, being deeply humbled, I was permitted to approach the throne of grace, and sweetly refreshed under a belief that the Lord would in his own time heal and bind up the broken-hearted.

6. A favoured time at meeting this morning. My mind deeply humbled with the consideration of the goodness of the Almighty towards me, in his gentle dealings with me, not according to my deserts, but his adorable mercy. Dull and heavy in the afternoon, yet trust the warfare was, in degree, maintained.

7. I trust this day has not been spent wholly in vain; having an opportunity thrown in my way of doing a poor neighbour some service. I am thankful that ability was given.

9. Many occurrences crowded in [during this] day, and my poor mind, I doubt, too much re