Fee. Why it's Mr. Dalton, the rich merchant, who is going to do me the honor of dining at my house.

(The villagers exit, R.)

Dor. Can it be possible! why, that's the very man who acted so strangely with my son-in-law; but they said he was eccentric! A pretty business I've made of it! I must apologize. (Sponge is about to seat himself at the table.) Mr. Dalton! Mr. Dalton!

Sponge. Another interruption!

Dor. One word.

Sponge. One mouthful! I have no time.

Dor. You must excuse me, but I can not permit you to leave me, until you suffer me to apologize for my rudeness this morning.

Sponge. My dear sir, apologize another time. (Enter MEASURETON from L., with a napkin and spoon in his hand.) Mea. Why, father-in-law, how strangely you leave us.

Dor. (making signs with his hands for him to retire.) Directly. (To Sponge, whom he still holds.) No, no, you must not escape; and after all, you absolutely must take a family dinner with us.

Sponge. My dear sir, I would dine with you with the greatest pleasure, but, (looking at the table,) at this moment, I have invited two friends-two particular friends,—whom I could not leave for the world. (Looking at table.) Ah! there goes the last of the beefsteak.

Dor. (still holding him.) To-morrow, Mr. Dalton.
Sponge. To-morrow I'm engaged.

Dor. Then the day after.

Sponge. I'm engaged.

Dor. May I hope on Thursday, then?

Sponge. On Thursday, I'm yours. I shall attend, and with a good appetite. (Aside.) But in this moment of dreadful suspense —

Dor. It's agreed, then, I shall expect you. (Exit Doric, L. Measureton runs to Sponge, and seizes him by the button-hole.)

Mea. My dear sir, pray pardon the freedom I made use of this morning; but, in truth, I did not know you.

Sponge. (R.) My dear sir, don't mention it; but have the kindness to leave me. (Aside.) There goes the

merrythought.

Mea. No, no; you are engaged for Thursday, but I hope that on Friday

Sponge. On Friday, be it,-and let that settle it. Ah! the fowl's all gone. (Takes his hat off, and putting it on Measureton's head, presses it over his eyes. As Measureton exits L. Sponge goes to table.) It appears you have not been idle, gentlemen. Fortunately, I am accustomed to quick eating, and I shall soon overtake you.

Enter GAMMON, l.

Gammon. Pray, is there one Mr. Dalton any where here? (Dalton R. points to Sponge L.) I beg your pardon, (to Sponge,) but I wish to speak a word with you, if you please, on an affair of the greatest importance.

Sponge. My dear fellow, another time, another time; at the present moment it's impossible. (To Dalton, who is again helping himself.) Sir, sir, you'll die of an indiges tion. (To Gammon, who is growing impatient.) Now, now, don't be troublesome,- don't you see the dinner?

Gam. Yes, and the business I've come about is concerning the dinner.

Sponge. What can your business have to do with my dinner? Gam. You'll know that soon enough.

Sponge, (calling.) Waiter, send more beefsteak! (Gammon pulls Sponge by the sleeve.) Why, in the name of famine, have you such an objection to my putting a bit of any thing in my mouth?

Gam. Explanation is unnecessary. I have orders to take your person. I shall be sorry to employ force; but if necessary, I have assistance at hand.

Sponge. This comes of taking people's names we know nothing of.

(Aside.)

Gam. Dome, come, I must take you to prison.

Sponge. Only wait until I get a bit of dinner, and you may take me any where. (Gammon is pulling him away.) This will never do; I think it will be more prudent to declare the truth—a word in your ear. (Whispers in Gammon's ear.) Gam. (L.) What! then, after all, you're not Mr. Dalton? Sponge. (R.) No, my name is Sponge, at your service,———— happy to dine with you any day, after Friday. I'm not the rich man, upon my honor; but you ought to have known that by my appetite.

Gam. Sir, I have to ask you a thousand pardons. It's true, I was to arrest Mr. Dalton; but, bless your soul! it was all a sham; I'm no officer,-I was only employed to force him to dine at the manor-house, with his wife and friends. You see they had laid a wager—

Dal. (jumping up.) Which they have lost, for my dinner's ended. (All start.) Yes, my name's Dalton, and my dinner's ended!

Sponge. Your name Dalton! who then am I? I'm nobody. Dal. However, we will repair home (crosses to L.) for the dessert, and regale our friends with the adventures of the morning. Waiter, toothpicks! (The waiter gives them toothpicks.) As for you, my dear Amphitryon, we heartily thank you for your kind invitation, and we hope you'll not forget (Exeunt Dalton and Lovell, L.) Sponge. You may depend upon me. I shall get no dinner till then, that's clear. (As Sponge is musing, the waiter comes and offers him a toothpick; the other waiters clear the table.) What is this?

ours.

Waiter. (R.) A toothpick!

Sponge. (L.) A toothpick! (Kicks the waiter of R.) This is the height of derision! Then it appears that every body has dined but me. By the event, however, I have made a good week of it; let me see, there are dinners for (counting on his fingers,) Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday; but nothing as yet decisive for to-day! (Looks toward the table.) They have cleared away the things, (feeling his pockets,) and I have not the means of enticing them to a second appearance. But if there should be, among all my friends present, any one who dines late,- very late, and who has the least intention of inviting me home with him, I beg he will not put himself out of the way on my account — I am perfectly at any one's service; but if I should not be happy enough to meet with an invitation for to-day, I hope I shall be more fortunate when I next start "A Race for a Dinner."

HOB AND NOB.

A ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE, IN ONE ACT.

BY MADISON MORTON.

DRAMATIS PERSONE.

JOHN NOB, A journeyman printer. MR. BOUNCER, A lodging-house JAMES HOB, A journeyman hatter.

keeper.

Hов, A brown coat, long white waistcoat, dark trousers, boots, white hat, and black stock.

MR. BOUNCER, A waistcoat, nankeen trousers, and white ap

ron.

ings, shoes, cotton neckcloth,
and shabby black hat.

REMARKS. The parts of Hob and Nob should be played in a manner bordering on burlesque; the more extravagant they can be made, the nearer will they be represented as the author intended, providing, always, that the bounds of gentlemanly conduct are not passed by the personators.

C.;

SCENE. A Room. At c., a bed with curtains closed; at L. c., a door; at L. H., a door; a chest of drawers, L. H.; at back R. H., a window; a door R. H; below the door R. H., « fireplace with a mantle over it; table and chairs R. a box of matches on the mantle-piece; a gridiron hanging by the side of the fireplace. Hoв, dressed, with the exception of his coat, is discovered looking at himself in a small looking-glass, which he holds in his hands. Hob should wear a close-cropped, light-colored wig.