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Wish me partaker in thy happiness,
When thou dost meet good hap; and, in thy danger,
If ever danger do environ thee,
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.
Val. And on a love-book pray for my success.
Pro. Upon some book I love, I'll pray for thee.
Val. That's on some shallow story of deep love,
How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.
Pro. That's a deep story of a deeper love; For he was more than over shoes in love.
Val. 'Tis true; for you are over boots in love;
And yet you never swam the Hellespont.
Pro. Over the boots ? nay, give me not the boots.*
Val. No, I'll not, for it boots thee not.
Val. To be
In love, where scorn is bought with groans; coy looks,
With heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth,
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:
If haply won, perhaps, a hapless gain;
If lost, why then a grievous labour won;
However, but a folly bought with wit,
Or else a wit by folly vanquish’d.
Pro. So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
Val. So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prore.
Pro. "Tís love you cavil at; I am not Love.
Val. Love is your master, for he masters you:
And he that is so yoked by a fool,
Methinks should not be chronicled for wise.
Pro. Yet writers say, As in the sweetest bud
The eating canker dwells, so eating love
Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
Val. And writers say, As the most forward bud
Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
Even so by love the young and tender wit
Is turn’d to folly ; blasting in the bud,
Losing his verdure even in the prime,
And all the fair effects of future hopes:
But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee,
That art a votary to fond desire ?
Once more adieu : my father at the road
Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.
Pro. And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
Val. Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.
At Milan, let me hear from thee by letters,
Of thy success in love, and what news else
Betideth here in absence of thy friend;
And I likewise will visit thee with mine.
Pro. All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!
Val. As much to you at home! and so, farewell.
[Exit VALENTINE. * A humorous punishment at harvest-home feasts, &c.
Pro. He after honour hunts, I after love;
He leaves his friends, to dignify them more;
I leave myself, my friends, and all for love.
Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me;
Made me néglect my studies, lose my time,
War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.
Speed. Sir Proteus, save you: Saw you my master ?,
Pro. But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.
Speed. Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already;
And I have play'd the sheep, in losing him.
Pro. Indeed a sheep doth very often stray, An if the shepherd be a while away.
Speed. You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and I a sheep ?
Pro. I do.
Speed. Why then my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
Pro. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.
Speed. This pruuts me still a sheep.
Pro. True; and thy master a shepherd.
Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
Pro. It shall go hard, but I'll prove it by another.
Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me; therefore, I am no sheep.
Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee: therefore, thou art a sheep.
Speed. Such another proof will make me cry baa.
Pro. But dost thou hear? gav'st thou my letter to Julia ?
Speed. Ay, Sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton ;* and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labour.
Pro. Here's too small a past re, for such a store of muttons.
Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound you.
Speed. Nay, Sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying
Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold.
Speed. From a pound
to a pin ? fold it over and over,
'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover.
Pro. But what said she did she nod ?
[SPEED nods. Speed. I. Pro. Nod, I? why that's noddy.“
Speed. You mistook, Sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask me, if she did nod; and I
I. Pro. And that set together, is-noddy. * A term for a courtezan.
+ A game at cards.
Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains. Pro. No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter.
Speed. Well, I perceive, I must be fain to bear with you.
Pro. Why, Sir, how do you bear with me?
Speed. Marry, Sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains.
Pro. Beshrew* me, but you have a quick wit.
Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief: What said she ?
Speed. Open your purse, that the money, and the matter, may be both at once delivered.
Pro. Well, Sir, here is for your pains: What said she ?
Speed. Truly, Sir, I think you'll hardly win her.
Pro. Why ? Couldst thou perceive so much from her?
Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter : And being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling her mind." Give her no token but stones; for she's as hard as steel.
Pro. What, said she nothing ?
Speed. No, not so much as-take this for thy pains. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'dt me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, Sir, I'll commend you to my master.
Pro. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck;
Which cannot perish, having thee aboard,
Being destined to a drier death on shore:
I must go send some better messenger;
I fear, my Julia would not deign my lines,
Receiving them from such a worthless post.
[Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same. Garden of JULIA's house.
Enter JULIA and LUCETTA. Jul. But say, Lucetta, now we are alone, Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
Inc. Ay, madam ; so you stumble not unheedfully.
Jul. Of all the fair resort of gentlemen, That every day with parle I encounter me, In thy opinion, which is worthiest love?
Luc. Please you, repeat their names, I'll show my mind According to my shallow simple skill.
Jul. What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour ?
Luc. As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;
But, were I you, he never should be mine.
Júl. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio ?
Luc. Well of his wealth ; but of himself, so, so.
Jul. What think’st thou of the gentle Proteus ?.
Luc Lord, lord ! to see what folly reigns in us !
Jul. How now! what means this passion at his name?
Luc. Pardon, dear madam; 'tis a passing shame,
* Til betide.
+ Given me a sixpence,
That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure* thus on lovely gentlemen..
Jul. Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest ?
Luc. Then thus, of many good I think him best.
Jul. Your reason ?
Luc. I have no other but a woman's reason; I think him so, because I think him so.
Jul. And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him ?
Luc. Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
Jul. Why, he of all the rest hath never moved me.
Luc. Yet he of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.
Jul. His little speaking shows his love but small.
Luc. Fire, that is closest kept, burns most of all.
Jul. They do not love, that do not show their love.
Luc. O, they love least, that let men know their love.
Jul. I would, I knew his mind.
Luc. Peruse this paper, madam.
Jul. To Julia, -Say, from whom !
Luc. That the contents will show.
Jul. Say, say; who gave it thee?
Luuc. Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus :
He would have given it you, but I, being in the way,
Did in your name receive it; pardon the fault, I pray.
Jul. Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker !t
Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines ?
To whisper and conspire against my youth?
Now, trust me 'tis an office of great worth,
And you an officer fit for the place.
There, take the paper, see it be return'd;
Or else return no more into my sight.
Luc. To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
Jul. Will you be gone?
Luc. That you may ruminate.
Jul. And yet, I would I had o'erlook'd the letter.
It were a shame to call her back again,
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her,
What fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
And would not force the letter to my view ?
Since maids in modesty, say No, to that
Which they would have the profferer construe, Ay.
Fie, fie! how wayward is this foolish love,
That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse,
And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod !
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
When willingly I would have had her here !
How angrily I taught my brow to frown,
When inward joy enforced my heart to smile
My penance is, to call Lucetta back,
And ask remission for my folly past;--
What ho! Lucetta!
Luc. What would your ladyship?
Jul. Is it near dinner-time?
Luc. I would it were;
That you might kill your stomach* on your meat,
And not upon your maid.
Jul. What ist you took up
Jul. Why didst thou stoop then ?
Luc. To take a paper up that I let fall.
Jul. And is that paper nothing?
Luc. Nothing concerning me.
Jul. Then let it lie for those that it concerns.
Luc. Madam, it will not lie where it concerns,
Unless it have a false interpreter.
Jul. Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
Luc. That I might sing it, Madam, to a tune: Give me a note : your ladyship can set.
Jul. As little by such toys as may be possible:
Best sing it to the tune of Light oʻlove.
Luic. It is too heavy for so light a tune.
Jul. Heavy? belike, it hath some burden then.
Luc. Ay; and melodious were it, would you sing it.
Jul. And why not you?
Inic. I cannot reach so high.
Jul. Let's see your song :-How now, minion ?
Luc. Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:
And yet, methinks, I do not like this tune.
Jul. You do not?
Luc. No, Madam; it is too sharp.
Jul. You, minion, are too saucy.
Luc. Nay, now you are too flat,
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant it
There wanteth but a meant to fill your song.
Jul. The mean is drowned with your unruly base.
Luc. Indeed, I bid the baseg for Proteus.
Jul. This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
Here is a coil/l with protestation !
[Tears the letter. Go, get you gone; and let the papers lie: You would be fingering them to anger me.
Inc. She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased To be so anger'd with another letter.
[Exit. Jul. Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same ! ( hateful hands, to tear such loving words ! Injurious wasps ? to feed on such sweet honey, And kill the bees that yield it with your stings I'll kiss each several paper for amends. Look, here is writ-kind Julia :-unkind Julia! As in revenge of thy ingratitude, * Passion or obstinacy.
† A term in music. I The tenor in music.
6 A challenge. | Bustle, turmoil. VOL. I.