Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces, | As I, for praise alone, now seek to spill Of trotting paritors,t-O my little heart!- And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop! Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, and [ill. The poor deer's blood, that my heart means no Only for praise' sake, when they strive to be Prin. Only for praise: and praise we may Enter COSTARD. Prin. Here comes a member of the commonwealth. Cost. God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady? Prin. Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads. Cost. Which is the greatest lady, the highest? Prin. The thickest, and the tallest. Cost. The thickest, and the tallest! it is so ; truth is truth. [wit, An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my One of these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit. Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest here. Prin. What's your will, Sir? what's your will? Cost. I have a letter from monsieur Biron, to one lady Rosaline. . Prin. O, thy letter, thy letter; he's a good friend of mine; [carve; Stand aside, good bearer.--Boyet, you can Prin. Was that the king, that spurr'd his Break up this capon.t horse so hard Against the steep uprising of the hill? Boyet. I know not; but, I think, it was not he. Prin. Whoe'er he was, he show'd a mounting mind. Well, lords, to-day we shall have our despatch; On Saturday we will return to France. Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush, That we must stand and play the murderer in? For. Here by, upon the edge of yonder coppice; A stand, where you may make the fairest shoot. Prin. I thank my beauty, I am fair that shoot, And thereupon thou speak'st, the fairest shoot. For. Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so. Prin. What, what? first praise me, and again say, no? O short-liv'd pride! Not fair? alack for woe! For. Yes, madam, fair. Prin. Nay, never paint me now; [brow. Where fair is not, praise cannot mend the Here, good my glass, take this for telling true; [Giving him money. Fair payment for foul words is more than due. For. Nothing but fair is that which you in herit. Prin. See, see, my beauty will be sav'd by O heresy in fair, fit for these days! [merit. A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise. But come, the bow:-Now mercy goes to kill, And, out of question, so it is sometimes; Boyet. I am bound to serve.— This letter is mistook, it importeth none here; It is writ to Jaquenetta. [ear. Prin. We will read it, I swear: Break the neck of the wax, and every one give Boyet. [Reads.] By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible; true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that thou art lovely: More fairer than fair, beautiful than beauteous; truer than truth itself, have commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say, veni, vidi, vici; which to anatomize in the vulgar, (O'base and obscure vulgar!) videlicet, he came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw, two; overcame, three. Who came? the king; Why did he come? to see; Why did he see? to overcome: To whom came he? to the beggar; What saw he? the beggar; Who overcame he? the beggar: The conclusion is victory; On whose side? the king's: the captive is enrich'd; On whose side? the beggar's; The catastrophe is a nuptial; On whose side? the king's?-no, on both in one, or one in both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison: thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness. Shall I command thy love? I may: Shall I enforce thy love? I could: Shall I entreat thy love? I will. What shalt thou exchange for rugs? robes; For tittles, titles; For thyself, me. Thus, expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot, my eyes on thy picture, and my heart on thy every part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry, DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO. Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar 'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey; Submissive fall his princely feet before, And he from forage will incline to play: But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then? Food for his rage, repasture for his den. *God give you good even. +Open this letter. t Illustrious. Prin. Else your memory is bad, going o'er it erewhile.* Boyet. This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court; [sport A phantasm, a Monarcho, and one that makes To the prince, and his book-mates. Prin. Thou, fellow, a word: Who gave thee this letter? Cost. I told you; my lord. Prin. To whom shouldst thou give it? To a lady of France, that he call'd Rosaline. Prin. Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away. Here, sweet, put up this; 'twill be thine anoth- thou marry, Boyet. My lady goes to kill horns; but, if [carry. Hang me by the neck, if horns that year misFinely put on! Ros. Well then, I am the shooter. Ros. If we choose by the horns, yourself: come near. Finely put on, indeed! Mar. You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes at the brow. Boyet. But she herself is hit lower: Have I hit her now? Ros. Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was a man when king Pepin of France was a little boy, as touching the hit it? Biron. So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a woman when queen Guinever of Britain was a little wench, as touching the hit it. Ros. Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it, [Singing. Thou canst not hit it, my good man. Boyet. An I cannot, cannot, cannot, An I cannot, another can. [Exeunt Ros. and KATH. Cost. By my troth, most pleasant! how both did fit it! Mar. A mark marvellous well shot; for they both did hit it. Boyet. A mark! O, mark but that mark; A mark, says my lady! Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may be. Armatho o' the one side,-0, a most dainty To see him walk before a lady, and to bear her fan! To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a' will swear!— [wit! And his page o' t' other side, that handful of Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical hit! Sola, sola! [Shouting within. [Exit COSTARD, running. SCENE II.-The same. Enter HOLOFERNES, Sir NATHANIEL, and DULL. Nath. Very reverent sport, truly; and done in the testimony of a good conscience. Hol. The deer was, as you know, in san guis,-blood; ripe as a pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of calo,-the sky, the welkin, the heaven; and anon falleth like a crab, on the face of terra,-the soil, the land, the earth. Nath. Truly, master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly varied, like a scholar at the least: But, Sir, I assure ye, it was a buck of the first head. Hol. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo. Dull. "Twas not a haud credo, 'twas a pricket. Hol. Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of explication; facere, as it were, replication, or rather, ostentare, to show, as it were, his inclination,—after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather unlettered, or, ratherest, unconfirmed fashion,to insert again my haud credo for a deer. Dull. I said, the deer was not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket. O thou monster ignorance, how deformed dost Hol. Twice sod simplicity, bis coctus! thou look! Nath. Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts; And such barren plants are set before us, that we thankful should be (Which we of taste and feeling are) for those parts that do fructify in us more than he. For as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool, Mar. Wide of the bow hand! I'faith your So, were there a patcht set on learning, to see hand is out. Cost. Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er hit the clout. Boyet. An if my hand be out, then, belike your hand is in. Cost. Then will she get the upshot by cleav ing the pin. Mar. Come, come, you talk greasily, your lips grow foul. Cost. She's too hard for you at pricks, Sir; challenge her to bowl. * Just now. Dull. What is Dictynna? And raught not to five weeks, when he came The allusion holds in the exchange. Dull. 'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange. Hol. God comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds in the exchange. Dull. And I say the pollution holds in the exchange; for the moon is never but a month old and I say beside, that 'twas a pricket that the princess kill'd. Hol. Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph on the death of the deer? and, to humour the ignorant, I have call'd the deer the princess kill'd, a pricket. Nath. Perge, good master Holofernes, perge; so it shall please you to abrogate scurrility. Hol. I will something affect the letter; for it argues facility. The praiseful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty pleasing pricket; Some say, a sore; but not a sore, till now made sore with shooting. The dogs did yell; put'l to sore, then sorel jumps from thicket; Or pricket, sore, or else sorel; the people fall a hooting. If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores; O sore L! Of one sore I an hundred make, by adding but one more L. Nath. A rare talent! Dull. If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a talent. tuan! I may speak of thee as the traveller doth Ruminat, and so forth. Ah, good old Manof Venice: -Vinegia, Vinegia, Chi non te vede, ei non te pregia. Old Mantuan! old Mantuan! Who understandeth thee not, loves thee not.-Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.-Under pardon, Sir, what are the What, my soul, verses? contents? or, rather, as Horace says in his Nath. Ay, Sir, and very learned. Hol. Let me hear a staff, a stanza, a verse; Nath. If love make me forsworn, how shall Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty Though to myself forsworn, to thee I'll faithful prove; Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like osiers bowed. Study his bias leaves, and makes his book thine eyes; Where all those pleasures live, that art would comprehend : If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice; Well learned is that tongue, that well can thee commend: All ignorant that soul, that sees thee without wonder; (Which is to me some praise, that I thy parts admire ;) Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder, Which, not to anger bent, is music, and sweet fire. [wrong, Celestial, as thou art, oh pardon, love, this That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue! Hol. This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, Hol. You find not the apostrophes, and so motions, revolutions: these are begot in the miss the accent: let me supervise the canzonet. ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb Here are only numbers ratified; but, for the of piu mater; and deliver'd upon the mellow- elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy, ing of occasion: But the gift is good in those caret. Ovidius Naso was the man: and why, in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it. Nath. Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and erous flowers of fancy, the jerks of invention? indeed, Naso; but for smelling out the odori So may my parishioners; for their sons are Imitari, is nothing: so doth the hound his well tutor'd by you, and their daughters profit master, the ape his keeper, the tired horse his very greatly under you: you are a good mem-rider. But damosella virgin, was this directed ber of the commonwealth. Hol. Mehercle, if their sons be ingenious, they shall want no instruction: if their daughters be capable, I will put it to them: But, vir sapit, qui pauca loquitur: a soul feminine salateth us. to you? of the strange queen's lords. Hol. I will overglance the superscript. To the snow-white hund of the most beauteous Lady Rosaline. I will look again on the intellect of the letter, for the nomination of the party writing to the person written unto: BIRON. Sir Nathaniel, this Biron is one of Cost. Have with thee, my girl. saith *Horse adorned with ribands. Hol. Sir, tell not me of the father, I do fear colourable colours. But, to return to the verses; Did they please you, Sir Nathaniel? Nath. Marvellous well for the pen. Hol. I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil of mine; where if, before repast, it shall please you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I will prove those verses to be very unlearned, neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I beseech your society. Nath. And thank you too: for society, (saith the text,) is the happiness of life. Hol. And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.-Sir, [To DULL.] I do invite you too; you shall not say me, nay: pauca verba. Away; the gentles are at their game, and we will to our recreation. [Exeunt. SCENE III-Another part of the same. Enter BIRON with a paper. Biron. The king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing myself: they have pitch'd a toil; I am toiling in a pitch; pitch that defiles; defile! a foul word. Well, Set thee down, sorrow! for so, they say, the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool. Well proved, wit! By the lord, this love is as mad as Ajax: it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep: Well proved again on my side! I will not love: if I do, hang me; i'faith, I will not. O, but her eye, -by this light, but for her eye, I would not love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love and it hath taught me to rhyme, and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme, and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my sonnets already; the clown bore it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin if the other three were in: Here comes one with a paper; God give him grace to groan ! [Gets up into a tree. Enter the KING, with a paper. King. Ah me! Biron. [Aside.] Shot, by heaven!-Proceed, sweet Cupid; thou hast thump'd him with thy bird-bolt under the left pap:-I'faith secrets.King. [Reads.] So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not To those fresh morning drops upon the rose, As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows: Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright Through the transparent bosom of the deep, As doth thy face through tears of mine give light; Thou shin'st in every tear that I do weep: No drop but as a coach doth carry thee, So ridest thou triumphing in my woe; Do but behold the tears that swell in me, And they thy glory through thy grief will show: But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep My tears for glasses, and still make me weep. O queen of queens, how far dost thou excel! No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.— How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper; O sweet Maria, empress of my love! Disfigure not his slop. [He reads the sonnet. If broken then, it is no fault of mine; If by me broke, What fool is not so wise, To lose an oath to win a paradise? Biron. [Aside.] This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity; A green goose, a goddess: pure, pure idolatry. God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the way. Enter DUMAIN, with a paper. Long. By whom shall I send this ?-Company! stay. [Stepping aside. Biron. [Aside.] All hid, all hid, an old infant play: Like a demi-god here sit I in the sky, And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'er-eye. More sacks to the mill! O heavens, I have my wish; [dish! Dumain transform'd: four woodcocks in a Dum. O most divine Kate! Biron. O most profane coxcomb! [Aside. Dum. By heaven, the wonder of a mortal eye! Biron. By earth, she is but corporal; there [Aside. you lie. coted.* Dum. Her amber hairs for foul have amber [Steps aside. must shine. [Aside. Dum. O that I had my wish! Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here? * In truth. * Outstripped, surpassed. Would let her out in saucers; Sweet mispris[Aside. Dum. Once more I'll read the ode that I have writ. Biron. Once more I'll mark how love can vary wit. Dum. On a day, (alack the day!), [Aside. Love, whose month is ever May, Thou for whom even Jove would swear, That shall express my true love's fasting pain. Long. Dumain, [Advancing.] thy love is far from charity, That in love's grief desir'st society: King. Come, Sir, [Advancing.] you blush; as his your case is such; You chide at him, offending twice as much : blush. I heard your guilty rhymes, observ'd your Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion: Ah me! says one; O Jove! the other cries; One, her hairs were gold, crystal the other's eyes: You would for paradise break faith and troth; [TO LONG. And Jove, for your love, would infringe an oath. [TO DUMAIN. What will Birón say, when that he shall hear A faith infring'd, which such a zeal did swear? How will he scorn? how will he spend his wit? How will he triumph, leap, and laugh at it? For all the wealth that ever I did see, I would not have him know so much by me. Biron. Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy. Ah, good my liege, I pray thee pardon me: [Descends from the tree. Good heart, what grace hast thou, thus to re prove These worms for loving, that art most in love? Where lies thy grief, O tell me, good Dumain? King. Too bitter is thy jest. Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view? Biron. Not you by me, but I betray'd to you, I, that am honest; I, that hold it sin To break the vow I am engaged in ; I am betray'd, by keeping company With moon-like men, of strange inconstancy. When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme? Or groan for Joan? or spend a minute's time In pruningt me? When shall you hear that I Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye, A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist, A leg, a limb? King. Soft; Whither away so fast? A true man, or a thief, that gallops so? Biron. I post from love; good lover, let me King. Where hadst thou it? Cost. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio. King. How now! what is in you? why dost thou tear it? Biron. A toy, my liege, a toy; your grace needs not fear it. Long. It did move him to passion, and therefore let's hear it. name. Dum. It is Biron's writing, and here is his Guilty, my lord, guilty; I confess, I confess. Biron. That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess: He, he, and you, my liege, and I, |