So high at last the contest rose, When luckily came by a third- Whether the thing was green, or blue ? "Sirs," cried the umpire, your pother, The creature's neither one I caught the animal last night, I'll lay my life the thing is blue." "And I'll engage that, when you've seen The reptile, you'll pronounce him green." "Well, then, at once, to ease the doubt," Replies the man, "I'll turn him out; And, when before your eyes I've set him, If you don't find him black, I'll eat him." He said; then full before their sight Produced the beast, and lo- 'twas white! Both stared; the man looks wondrous wise! My children," the chameleon cries (Then first the creature found a tongue), "You all are right, and all are wrong; When next you talk of what you view, Think others see as well as you; From words they almost came to Nor wonder if you find that none blows; Prefers your eyesight to his own." Took to his nightcap on the way. Dash to posterity in no time! Raise but one general blast of puff The critics, if they please, may fol- Ere they've laid down their first positions, In vain doth Edinburgh dispense catch the Unread One comes too And nonsense, littered in a hurry, ray. [From The Fudge Family in Paris]. EXTRACTS FROM MISS BIDDY'S LETTERS. WHAT a time since I wrote! - I'm a sad naughty girl Though, like a tee-totum, I'm all in a twirl, Yet even (as you wittily say) a tee totum Between all its twirls gives a letter to note 'em. But, Lord, such a place! and then, 66 My gowns, so divine!- there's no One's hair and one's cutlets both en papillote, And a thousand more things I shall ne'er have by rote, I can scarce tell the difference, at least as to phrase, Between beef à la Psyche and curls à la braise, But, in short, dear, I'm tricked out quite à la française, With my bonnet-so beautiful!-high up and poking, Like things that are put to keep chimneys from smoking. Where shall I begin with the endless delights Of this Eden of milliners, monkeys, and sights This dear busy place, where there's nothing transacting, But dressing and dinnering, dancing and acting? I scarce understood What he wished me to do, I said, thank him, I would. Off we set and, though 'faith, dear, Last night, at the Beaujon, a place For 'twas like heaven and earth, where I doubt If I well can describe-there are cars, that set out Dolly, coming together,— Yet, spite of the danger, we dared it again. From a lighted pavilion, high up in And oh! as I gazed on the features the air, And rattle you down, Doll (The great heiress, you know, of Shandangan, who's here, Showing off with such airs and a real Cashmere, While mine's but a paltry old rabbitskin, dear!) But says Pa, after deeply considering the thing, "I am just as well pleased it should not be the king; As I think for my Biddy so gentille and jolie, Whose charms may their price in an honest way fetch, That a Brandenburg (what is a Brandenburg, Dolly ?)— Would be, after all, no such very great catch. WILLIAM PITT PALMER. THE SMACK IN SCHOOL. A DISTRICT School, not far away, Mid Berkshire's hills, one winter's day, Was humming with its wonted noise Of threescore mingled girls and boys; Some few upon their tasks intent, But more on furtive mischief bent. The while the master's downward look Was fastened on a copy-book; When suddenly, behind his back, Rose sharp and clear a rousing smack! As 't were a battery of bliss Let off in one tremendous kiss! "What's that ?" the startled master cries; "That, thir," a little imp replies, "Wath William Willith, if you pleathe, I thaw him kith Thuthanna Peathe!" With frown to make a statue thrill, The master thundered," Hither, Will!" Like wretch o'ertaken in his track, amazed That you, my biggest pupil, should Be guilty of an act so rude! Before the whole set school to bootWhat evil genius put you to 't ?" "Twas she herself, sir," sobbed the lad; "I did not mean to be so bad; I thought she kird o' wished me to!" |