In other arms than hers,-to him this challenge. Than ever Greek did compass in his arms; Agam. This shall be told our lovers, lord Æneas; Agam. Fair lord Æneas, let me touch your hand; Achilles shall have word of this intent: So shall each lord of Greece, from tent to tent: And find the welcome of a noble foe. Ulyss. Nestor, [Exeunt all but ULYSSES and NESTOR. Nest. What says Ulysses? Ulyss. I have a young conception in my brain, Be you my time to bring it to some shape. Nest. What is't? Ulyss. This 'tis : Blunt wedges rive hard knots: The seeded pride That hath to this maturity blown up In rank Achilles, must or now be cropp'd, Or, shedding, breed a nursery of like evil, To overbulk us all. Nest. Well, and how? Ulyss. This challenge that the gallant Hector sends, * Armour for the arm. However it is spread in general name, Relates in purpose only to Achilles. Nest. The purpose is perspicuous even as substance, 'Tis dry enough,-will, with what great speed of judgment, Ay, with celerity, find Hector's Pointing on him. purpose Ulyss. And wake him to the answer, think you? It is most meet; Whom may you else oppose, For here the Trojans taste our dear'st repute In this wild action: for the success, And in such indexes, although small pricks Of things to come at large. It is supposed, What heart receives from hence a conquering part, Ulyss. Give pardon to my speech ;- For both our honour and our shame, in this, Are dogg'd with two strange followers. Nest. I see them not with my old eyes; what are they? Ulyss. What glory our Achilles shares from Hector, Were he not proud, we all should share with him: But he already is too insolent; And we were better parch in Afric sun, Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes, Should he 'scape Hector fair: If he were foil'd, The sort+ to fight with Hector: Among ourselves, That we have better men. But, hit or miss, Now I begin to relish thy advice; And I will give a taste of it forthwith To Agamemnon: go we to him straight. Two curs shall tame each other; Pride alone Must tarre the mastiffs on, as 'twere their bone. ACT II. [Exeunt. SCENE I-Another part of the Grecian Camp. Enter AJAX and THERSITES. Ajax. Thersites, Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils? full, all over, generally? Ajax. Thersites, Ther. And those boils did run?-Say so,-did not the general run then? were not that a botchy core? Ajax. Dog, Ther. Then would come some matter from him; I see none now. Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? Feel then. [Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beefwitted lord! Ajax. Speak, then, thou unsalted leaven, speak: I will beat thee into handsomeness. Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou? a red murrain o' thy jade's tricks! Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation, Ther. Dost thou think, I have no sense, thou strikest me thus? Ajax. The proclamation, Ther. Thou art proclaim'd a fool, I think. * Estimation. † Lot. + Excite. Ajax. Do not, porpentine,* do not; my fingers itch. Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another. Ajax. I say, the proclamation, Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him. Ajax. Mistress Thersites ! Ther. Thou shouldest strike him. Ajax. Cobloaf!† Ther. He would pun‡ thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit. Ajax. You whoreson cur! Ther. Do, do. Ajax. Thou stool for a witch!§ [Beating him. Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinego || may tutor thee: Thou scurvy valiant ass; thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou! Ajax. You dog! Ther. You scurvy lord! Ajax. You cur! [Beating him. Ther. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do. Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. Achil. Why, how now, Ajax? wherefore do you thus? How now, Thersites ? what's the matter, man? Ther. You see him there, do you? Achil. Ay, what's the matter? Ther. Nay, look upon him. Achil. So I do; What's the matter? Ther. Nay, but regard him well. Achil. Well! why I do so. Ther. But yet you look not well upon him: for, whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax. Achil. I know that, fool. Ther. Ay, but that fool knows not himself. Ajax. Therefore I beat thee. Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain, more than he has beat my bones: I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord Achilles, Ajax,-who wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say of him. Achil. What? * Porcupine. † Crusty, uneven loaf. + Pound. There used to be a mode of punishing witches, by tying them crosslegged on a high stool. Ass. VOL. 111. Continue. 2 F Ther. I say, this Ajax Achil. Nay, good Ajax. [AJAX offers to strike him, ACHILLES interposes. Ther. Has not so much wit Achil. Nay, I must hold you. Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he comes to fight. Achil. Peace, fool! Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not: he there; that he; look you there. Ajax. O thou damned cur! I shall Achil. Will you set your wit to a fool's? Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will shame it. Patr. Good words, Thersites. Achil. What's the quarrel? Ajax. I bade the vile owl, go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me. Ther. I serve thee not. Ajax. Well, go to, go to. Ther. I serve here voluntary. Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary ;* Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress. Ther. Even so ?-A great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or elset here be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, if he knock out either of your brains; a' were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel. Achil. What, with me too, Thersites ? Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor,-whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes,-yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars. Achil. What, what? Ther. Yes, good sooth; to, Achilles! to, Ajax! to! Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue. Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou, afterwards. Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace. Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' bracht bids me, shall I? Achil. There's for you, Patroclus. Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents; I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. Patr. A good riddance. [Exit. Achil. Marry, this, Sir, is proclaim'd through all our host: That Hector, by the first hour of the sun, Will, with a trumpet, 'twixt our tents and Troy, Achil. I know not, it is put to lottery; otherwise, Ajax. O, meaning you :-I'll go learn more of it. * Voluntarily. Exeunt. |