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Ber. I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it hereafter. But fhall we have this dialogue between the fool and the foldier? come, bring forth this counterfeit module; h'as deceiv'd me, like a double-meaning prophefier.

2 Lord. Bring him forth; h'as fate in the Stocks all night, poor gallant knave.

Ber. No matter; his heels have deferv'd it, in ufurping his fpurs fo long. How does he carry himself?

I Lord. I have told your Lordship already: the Stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would be understood, he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk; he hath confeft himself to Morgan, whom he fuppofes to be a Friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very inftant difafter of his setting i'th' Stocks, and what, think you, he hath confest?

Ber. Nothing of me, has he?

2 Lord. His confeffion is taken, and it fhall be read to his face; if your Lordship be in't, as I believe you are, you must have the patience to hear it.

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Enter Parolles, with his Interpreter.

Ber. A plague upon him, muffled! he can fay nothing of me; hush! hush!

1 Lord. Hoodman comes: Portotartaroffa.

Int. He calls for the tortures; what, will you fay without 'em?

Par. I will confess what I know without constraint; if ye pinch me like a pasty, I can fay no more.

Int. Bosko Chimurcho.

2 Lord. Biblibindo chicurmurco.

Int. You are a merciful General: our General bids you answer to what I fhall ask you out of a note. Par. And truly, as I hope to live.

Int. Firft demand of him, how many Horse the Duke is ftrong. What fay you to that?

Par. Five or fix thousand, but very weak and unserviceable; the troops are all scatter'd, and the Commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit, and as I hope to live.

Int. Shall I fet down your anfwer fo?

Par. Do, I'll take the Sacrament on't, how and which way you will: all's one to me.

Ber. What a paft-faving flave is this?

I Lord. Y'are deceiv'd, my Lord, this is Monfieur Parolles, the gallant militarift, that was his own phrase, that had the whole theory of war in the knot of his fcarf, and the practice in the chape of his dagger.

2 Lord. I will never truft a man again for keeping his fword clean; nor believe, he can have every thing in him by wearing his apparel neatly.

Int. Well, that's fet down.

Par. Five or fix thousand horfe I faid, (I will fay true,) or thereabouts, fet down, for I'll fpeak truth., i. 1 Lord. He's very near the truth in this.

Ber. But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he delivers it.

Par. Poor rogues, I pray you, fay.

Int. Well, that's fet down.

Par. I humbly thank you, Sir; a truth's a truth, the rogues are marvellous poor.

Int. Demand of him of what ftrength they are afoot. What say you to that?

Par. By my troth, Sir, if I were to live this prefent hour I will tell true. Let me fee, Spurio a hundred and fifty, Sebaftian fo many, Corambus fo many, Jaques fo many; Guiltian, Cofmo, Lodowick, and Gratit, two hundred and fifty each; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and fifty each; fo that the mufter file, rotten and found, upon my life amounts not to fifteen thoufand Poll; half of the which dare not shake the fnow from off their caffocks, left they shake themselves to pieces.

Ber. What fhall be done to him?


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I Lord. Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my conditions, and what credit I have with the Duke.

Int. Well, that's fet down. You fhall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain be i'th' camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the Duke,


what his valour, honefty, and expertnefs in war; or whether he thinks, it were not poffible with wellweighing fums of gold to corrupt him to a revolt. What fay you to this? what do you know of it?

Par. Í befeech you, let me anfwer to the particular of the Interrogatories. Demand them fingly.

Int. Do you know this Captain Dumain?

Par. I know him; he was a botcher's prentice in Paris, from whence he was whipt for getting the fheriff's fool with child, a dumb innocent, that could not fay him nay.

Ber. Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; tho' I know, his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls. Int. Well, is this Captain in the Duke of Florence's Camp?

Par. Upon my knowledge he is, and lowfie.

1 Lord. Nay, look not fo upon me, we fhall hear of your Lordship anon.

Int. What is his reputation with the Duke?

Par. The Duke knows him for no other but a poor Officer of mine, and writ to me the other day to turn him out o'th' band. I think, I have his letter in my pocket.

Int. Marry, we'll search.

Par. In good fadness, I do not know; either it is there, or it is upon the file with the Duke's other letters in my tent.

Int. Here 'tis, here's a paper, fhall I read it to you? Par. I do not know, if it be it or no.

Ber. Our Interpreter does it well.

1 Lord. Excellently.

Int. Dian, the Count's a fool, and full of gold.

Par. That is not the Duke's letter, Sir; that is an advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count Roufillon, a foolish idle boy; but, for all that, very ruttish. I pray you, Sir, put it up again.

Int. Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.

Par. My meaning in't, I proteft, was very honest in the behalf of the maid; for I knew the young Count


to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whaleto virginity, and devours up all the fry it finds. Ber. Damnable! both fides rogue.

Interpreter reads the letter.

When he fwears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it.
After he fcores, he never pays the Score:

Half won, is match well made; match, and well make it :
He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before.
And fay, a foldier (Dian) told thee this:
(33) Men are to mell with, boys are but to kifs.
For count of this, the Count's a fool, I know it.
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.

Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear,


Ber. He fhall be whipt through the army with this rhime in his forehead.

2 Lord. This is your devoted friend, Sir, the manifold linguist and the armi-potent foldier.

Ber. I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me.

Int. I perceive, Sir, by the General's looks, we fhall be fain to hang you.

Par. My life, Sir, in any case; not that I am afraid to die; but that my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live, Sir, in a Dungeon, i'th' Stocks, any where, fo I may live.

Int. We'll fee what may be done, fo you confess freely; therefore, once more, to this Captain Dumain:

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(33) Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss.] All the Editors have obtruded a new Maxim upon us here, that Boys are not to kifs. Livia, in Beaumont and Fletcher's Tamer tam'd, is of a quite oppofite Opinion.

For Boys were made for Nothing but dry Kiffes.

And our Poet's Thought, I am perfwaded, went to the fame Tune; that Boys are fit only to kifs; Men to mingle with, and give more fubftantial Pleasures. To mell, is deriv'd from the French Word, méler; to mingle. I made this Correction when I publish'd my SHAKESPEARE reftor'd; and Mr. Pope has thought fit to adopt it in his laft Impreffion.


you have anfwer'd to his reputation with the Duke, and to his valour. What is his honesty?

Par. He will fteal, Sir, an egg out of a cloifter: for rapes and ravishments he parallels Neffus. He profeffes not keeping of oaths; in breaking them he is ftronger than Hercules. He will lie, Sir, with fuch volubility, that you would think, truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be fwinedrunk, and in his fleep he does little harm, fave to his bed-cloaths about him; but they know his conditions, and lay him in ftraw. I have but little more to fay, Sir, of his honefty, he has every thing that an honeft man should not have; what an honeft man fhould have, he has nothing.

1 Lord. I begin to love him for this.

Ber. For this description of thine honesty? a pox upon him for me, he is more and more a cat.

Int. What fay you to his expertness in war? Par. Faith, Sir, h'as led the drum before the English Tragedians to belie him, I will not; and more of his foldierfhip I know not; except in that Country, he had the honour to be the Officer at a place there call'd Mile-end, to inftruct for the doubling of files. I would do the man what honour I can, but of this I am not certain.

I Lord. He hath out-villain'd villany fo far, that the rarity redeems him..

Ber. A pox on him, he's a cat ftill.

Int. His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.

Par. Sir, for a Quart-d'ecu he will fell the fee-fimple of his falvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th'intail from all remainders, and a perpetual fucceffion for it perpetually.

Int. What's his Brother, the other Captain Du main?

2 Lord. Why does he ask him of me?

Int. What's he?

Par. E'en a crow o'th' fame neft; not altogether fo great as the firft in goodness, but greater a great deal Ff



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