Can you account for this?" said S-tt, a master-builder, who happened to sit next to Foote." Why, not very clearly," said the other: " except we could suppose the world was built by contract."

Garrick attending the rehearsal of Venice Preserved, when a new actress highly recommended to him was to make her debût in Belvidera, she repeated that tender exclamation, "Would you kill my father, Jaffier?" with so much sang froid in her voice and countenance, that, after several attempts to set her right, he whispered her, nearly in the same tone, "Can you chop cabbage, Madam ?"

LXXXVI. The Situation of the Grafton Ministry.

A gentleman coming into the Cocoa-tree one morning during the Duke of Grafton's administration, was observing, "that he was afraid the poor ministry were at their wit's end."-"Well, if it it should be so,"

said Foote," what reason have they to complain of so short a journey?”

Being asked his opinion of Churchill the poet, he said that Lilly the grammarian had already given his character in one line with great accuracy:

66

Bifrons, atque custos; bos, fur, sus, atque sacerdos *."

LXXXVIII. Hugh Kelly.

Hugh Kelly, the author of False Delicacy, &c., dining with Foote one day, in passing through the drawing-room, looked into the library; and, being surprised at the smallness of the collection (the principal

* Which line Mr. Gostling, a clergyman of Canterbury, has parodied in the following humorous manner :— Bifrons-not living as he preaches; Custos-of all that in his reach is;

Bos-when among his neighbours' wives;

Fur-when a gathering-in his tithes ;

Sus-sitting at a parish-feast;

Sacerdos last, a finish'd priest.

part of his books being at North-end), rather triumphantly exclaimed, "Why, heyday! I have got almost as many books myself!"" Perhaps you may, Sir," said the other; "but consider, you read all that you write."

The same author was boasting, that, as a reviewer, he had the power of distributing literary reputation as he liked.—“ Take care," said Foote, " you are not too prodigal of that, or you may leave none for yourself."

xc. Spirits.

A very thin lady seriously asked Foote whether he believed in spirits?—“ Aye, Madam," replied he, looking her full in the face, 66 as sure as you are there."

XCI. Grecian Drama.

Foote told Lord Carlisle, that he once had it in contemplation to bring out a

piece in order to ridicule the absurdities of the Grecian Drama.

His plan was as follows:-He was to introduce but one personage, who was to be a mock despotic monarch, attended by a chorus of tinkers, taylors, blacksmiths, musicians, bakers, &c. This character was to strut about the stage, boast of the unlimited extent of his imperial power, threaten all with fire and sword, take the city of London, storm the Tower, and even threaten to dethrone the sovereign himself.

The Chorus, terrified at these exploits and menaces, were then to fall upon their knees, tear their hair, beat their breasts, and supplicate his imperial highness to spare the effusion of so much human blood; to which, after a conflict of contending passions during the course of five acts, the hero was to agree, and the piece was then to conclude with a full hymn of thanksgiving for the deliverance of so many individuals *.

* With all deference to Foote's comic abilities, it may be thought that a drama founded on this model

XCII. A Method to avoid Duelling.

Dining at the house of a nobleman who gave him a bad dinner and worse wine, but who had happened to fight a duel some time before, he was afterwards asked how he liked his reception. "Oh!" said he, "that fellow should never ask any body to his house but his antagonists, as then he might poison them without running the risk of his own life."

XCIII. A new Taste for Literature.

A great epicure having bought a library, a person was wondering what he could do with it, as he was well known to prefer a good table to all the books in the world. "It may be partly for that reason," said Foote; "for the Table of Contents."

would not generally succeed. The far greater part of an audience know nothing of the Grecian unities, which this piece was intended to ridicule; therefore though it might gratify a few among the number of scholars and men of taste, the mass of the audience, not understanding the original, would, of course, have very little relish for the caricature.