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Speed. Here follow her vices.
Speed. Item, She is not to be kiss'd fasting, in respect of her breath.
Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on.
329 Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep.
Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
Speed. Item, She is slow in words.
Laun. O villain ! that set down among her vices ! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue : I pray thee, out with't ; and place it for her chief virtue.
330 Speed. Item, She is proud.
Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her.
Speed. Item, She hath no teeth.
Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
Speed. Item, She is curst,
Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall : if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. 341
Speed. Item, She is too liberal.
Laun. Of her tongue she cannot ; for that's writ. down, she is slow of : of her purse she shall not; for
that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she may ; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed.
Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
Laun. Stop there ; I'll have her : she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article : Rehearse that once more.
Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit
Laun. More hair than wit-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt : the hair, that covers the wit, is more than the wit ; for the greater hidęs the less. What's next?
Speed. And more faults than hairs'
360 Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious : Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing is impossible
Speed. Whạt then?
Laun. Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.
Speed. For me !
Laun. For thee! ay; who art thou he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him?
370 Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn.
Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner i pox on your love-letters! Fis
Laun. Now will he be swing'd for reading my let. ter; An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets !—I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
Enter Duke and Thurio, and Protheus behind.
Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most,
Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure
Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.-
Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace,
Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect
Pro. I do, my lord.
Duke. And also, I do think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will.
Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.
Duke. Ay, and perversely she perseveres so.
Pro. The best way is, to slander Valentine
Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hatę,
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it:
Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him,
Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do:
Pro. You have prevailid, my lord : if I can do it,
But say, this weed her love from Valentine,
Thu. Therefore as you unwind her love from him,
Duke. And, Protheus, we dare trust you in this
Because we know, on Valentine's report,
you with Silvia may confer at large ; For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,
440 And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you; Where you may temper her, by your persuasion, To hate young Valentine, and love my friend.
Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect:-