THE gentleman notorious from the charges of cheating referred to, brought an action for libel against certain of his accusers, which action, however, he abandoned at the last minute. Hook, immediately on hearing this, spoke this impromptu "Cease your humming, The case is 'on'; A CERTAIN Duke, who was to have been one of the Knights at the Eglinton Tournament, was lamenting that he had been obliged to excuse himself, on the ground of an attack of gout. "How," said he, "could I get my poor puffed legs into those abominable iron boots?" "It will be quite as appropriate," replied Hook, "if your Grace goes in your list shoes." ww THE Licenser of Plays having objected to one of Hook's pieces, the author visited him and remonstrated, but in vain. Speaking of his interview afterwards, Hook said that "the great licenser actually shook his head if there was something in it." WHEN Messrs Abbott & Egerton took the old Coburg Theatre for the purpose of bringing forward the legitimate drama, Abbott asked Hook if he could suggest a new name, the old being too much identified with "blood and thunder" to suit the proposed change of performance. "Well," said Hook, "as you will, of course, butcher everything you attempt, suppose you call it the Abattoir." www AT a somewhat solemn dinner-party, the conversation turned upon the universality of the acknowledgment of Shakespeare's genius; someone present then remarked that the only individual he knew who thought the great poet overrated was Perry of the Morning Chronicle. "That," said Hook, very gravely, "excites no surprise in me; you must recollect that the bard has gone out of his way, and substituted one beverage for another, for the express purpose of passing him by, and showing him a slight." "Beverage! slight! What can you mean?" chorused several voices. "Why in that well known line to suckle fools and chronicle small beer,' is it not manifest that he should have written Chronicle Perry?" A VISITOR at Hook's Putney residence, viewing the bridge from the little terrace which overhung the Thames, said he had been informed that it was a very good investment, and, turning to his host, inquired if such was the case. "I don't really know," said Theodore, "but you have only to cross it and you are sure to be tolled." ww HOOK was at some large party where the lady of the house was even more than usually solicitous to get him to make sport for her guests. A ring formed round him of people only wanting a word's encouragement to burst out into a violent laugh. "Do, Mr Hook, do favour us," said the lady for the hundredth time. "Indeed, madam, I can't; I can't, indeed. I am like that little bird, the canary, and can't lay my eggs when anyone is looking at me." ON the death of an actress, Mrs Wall by name, being announced, Hook observed, "Well, I suppose then by this time she is stuck all over with bills,-this is the way they serve all the dead walls about London." HOOK was imprisoned, there being found a deficiency of twelve thousand pounds in his Mauritius accounts. On his release the sheriff's-officer invited him to a dinner, when he startled the company with making sport out of his own disgrace by singing an improvised song every verse of which ended with the chorus "Let him hang, with a curse, this atrocious, pernicious Scoundrel, that emptied the till at Mauritius." THEODORE HOOK was dining with a Mr Hatchet, who said deprecatingly, “Ah, my dear fellow, I am sorry to say you will not get to-day such a dinner as our friend Tom Moore gave us." "Certainly not," replied Hook, "from a hatchet one can expect nothing but a chop." AN old lady friend whom Hook had called to see insisted upon his staying to dine with her. On sitting down, the servant uncovered a dish which contained two mutton chops, and the hostess said "Mr Hook, you see your dinner." "Thank you, ma'am," said he, "but where's yours?" |